-scale=1.0,maximum-scale=1.0" : "width=1100"' name='viewport'/> Plum Street Chili: Jokes from God

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Jokes from God

I write Comedy and Plays among other things like this Blog. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

Example: this conversation about

"Did Bill Clinton bump uglies with Liz Gurley while Hillary was in the room next door?"

on a right wing blog. Authoritarians worry about these things. This conversation is verbatim.
PLUM:
Our Bill, he's a slut and I love him.
XYZ:
he's also probably had to deal with his share of STD's and I would be surprised if his 'tool' has shriveled up and fell off by now. What a disgusting pig of a man. God help us though because Oblamer is worse than him. Barry is a man slut. (sic)
PLUM:
You have a rich full fantasy life.
XYZ:
And you have your cranium up your distal alimentary canal.
PLUM:
Google "scat" and you will get what you so obviously want and need.
ABC:
I don't buy this crap. Bubba is a sex fiend but I don't think every woman in the world is susceptible to his serpent-tongued "sweet talking". I'm sure there are quite a few women who would vomit at the prospect.
XYZ:
One can only hope this is true but I think it is becoming more of a rarity. Even my ex-wife was "sweet talked" by some low life from the internet she met playing scrabble. Doesn't say much for her and the woman she has become. I'm with a woman now who I can confidently say would fall into that category of those "who would vomit at the prospect." She's a real lady, all woman and a total class act, so to speak.
PLUM:
I would do Bill Clinton in a New York minute. Let me at him. Sexiest man in the world. One of the smartest men in the world too. I envy Hillary bigtime.
XYZ:
You like perverts? He also has a few rapes under his belt. Wear a condom, don't want those nasty STD's!
PLUM:
Depends on the pervert. I do not like you.
I am writing a play (trying to write a play) about the politics and sociology of abortion/contraception in the USA. "What is funny about that?" you might ask. Good question. I was asking myself the same question. And coming up with nada.

People do not come to your plays if you bore them silly. All I have to do is plug this conversation among characters into the script with a bit of editing. Cracks me up. Scrabble? This is the wages of hanging out on message boards. Laughing my ass off.