Showing posts with label Knee Replacement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Knee Replacement. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

My Ass is Gone

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass!
Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I had both my knees replaced on August 10. I am getting about now. For 8 weeks I was confined to a bed with knees the size of large cantaloupes, lots of pain, and no appetite. Do you have any idea what 8 weeks of bed confinement does to your muscles, and your Ass in particular?

I have always loved the Limerick above. And I love my Ass. Miss Angie told me "That is the biggest ass I have ever seen on a white woman."

I made a lot of money shaking my Ass. And I miss it. The Ass, not the money.

Note: This photograph is not my ass. It is Lisa Lyon's ass photographed in 1980 by Mapplethorpe.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Becoming Bionic

On August 10 ( if I live through the surgery), I will become a Bionic Woman, a Wonder Woman, the Hero of my girlhood. Both my knees will be replaced with knees that function.

I am remarkably healthy for a woman of my age. No diabetes, no heart disease, no high blood pressure. But my remarkable health will quickly deteriorate if I cannot do what has kept me healthy all my life: WALK long distances.

No scooter for me. I am making an investment in my future health and productivity. I am scared. I am doing the scary thing anyway.  I will be gone and convalescing for a bit. Meet you soon, cher Reader.