The Oval Orifice

There is a desk in DC town

Where Orange Shitface sits him down.

He whacks his mushroom wang,

Takes a voluminous pee,

Then He sharts copiously.

OLD WHITE MEN

I saw a beautiful young Social Justice Warrior carrying a sign that said Don't Let Old White Men Decide About Abortion.

It was Old White Men who fought side by side with us and helped enact Roe v. Wade. I know because I was there, wearing my black wife-beater T-shirt that said SUPER BITCH.

History is your friend. Do some research. All of us Crones will be dead soon.

"The Clergy Consultation Service on Abortion (CCS) was a group of American clergy that counseled and referred people to licensed doctors for safe abortions before the Supreme Court's decision in Roe v. Wade made abortion legal nationwide.

Starting in 1967 with 21 Protestant ministers and Jewish rabbis in New York City, the group operated out of Judson Memorial Church. It grew to incorporate chapters in thirty-eight states with some 3,000 clergy as members. By the time of the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973, it is estimated that the Clergy Consultation Service had nationally referred at least 450,000 people for safe abortions." - Wikipedia.

The SCOTUS enacted Roe v. Wade, an all-male Conservative Republican majority court. Old White Men. That decision is the white-bread Conservative biologically and socially relevant decision. Full text of Roe v. Wade:

https://www.law.cornell.edu/supremecourt/text/410/113

This Old White Man was my mentor. Rest in Peace, Howard Moody.

The Rev. Howard R. Moody, the longtime minister of the historic Judson Memorial Church, who hurled himself and his Greenwich Village congregation into roiling social issues, at one point helping women from around the nation get illegal abortions, died on Wednesday in Manhattan. He was 91. Howard Moody, Minister of Judson Memorial Church, Dead at 91 — The New York Times (nytimes.com)

A heartfelt message to the current Supreme Court of the United States:

True freedom means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed.” (David Foster Wallace)

Song for the Oily Wrestler and My Heros

WORD PLAY

FUCK (with) synonyms: lay screw shag bang bonk score schtup #$% and some I surely missed. Pick your favorite.

When I turn on YouTube at the end of the day,
When the last winds of work blues have flown,
Conway and Swalwell will be 

There and waiting for me.
I won’t have to #$% Gym Jordan alone.

I won’t have to screw Jordan alone.

Kinzinger’s career died sins to atone.

Through the darkness, I see.
He’ll still be working with me.
I won’t have to schtup Gym Jordan alone.

Though the billows of lies and trouble may sweep
Jared Moskowitz will care for our own
Until the end of the journey
The Democracy he will keep
I won’t have to bang Jordan alone.

Note: The Democracy is what FDR called All Americans

I used a beautiful old Christian Hymn for rhyme scheme and meter. I know this Singer will understand and forgive me. He was a touch badly behaved once in awhile like me. 

This is a living and transforming Dog. I need three more verses/chorus. I will accept assistance.

Hat Tip to the Great Aesop or A Fable for Our Times

A Fable for Our Times

Bigotry (subheading racism) is like owning a big dog. Let us call the dog ICK.

I have no problem with ICK as long as you keep the dog at home or on a leash. It is your ICK. Play ball with it in your yard. Feed it pepperoni in the evening. Have a beer and give the mutt a pat. Enjoy. 

If you take ICK out in public, keep ICK on a leash. If ICK bites me or a child or shits on the sidewalk, you make your ICK my  problem. And our community's problem. Nobody likes problems. Nobody. ICK bites hurt.

I am a fan of Roland Martin and Crazy Ass White People. This is my idea of a feel good story. Jesus loves everybody. No exceptions. 

Old ladies can be rabble rousing white trash. I have been known to rouse a rabble from time to time. Tell me why you rouse a rabble and I will tell you who you are. Or Roland Martin will. You go, Roland.

Kudos to this Restaurant Manager. He is an educated man who speaks two languages. He protects his business from rabble rousing trash (ugh!) in a calm effective way. He protects the peace of his patrons. 

I Troll the Internet

I am retired. I have nothing and no one to do. Why do I troll? Because I can.

I hang out on the message boards. Lots of evangelical Christians comment there. They have great screen names like LordJesusYourGod and HeHasRisen752. Some of them are Fruit Loops. And then, there is Marilyn.

Marilyn's message is that oral and anal sex are The Original Sin of Adam. Marilyn quoted the Bible and used the word "fornicate" 6 times. I love the word fornicate. It is so euphonious. Say it loud. Say it proud.

So I fired back with A Little Ditty for Marilyn:

Fornicate! Fornicate!
Who gave us this sex so great?
It's God.
As I do the in and out,

I have oft been known to shout:
Oh God.

A couple of hours later, when they let Marilyn use the computer in the day room again, she left me another message with more Bible quotes and the word fornication in all CAPITALS and boldface. So I broke out in song again:

FORNICATION!
I am still under your spell.
And if I could speak,
What an erotic tale I could tell.
Of a screw that I have not forgotten,
Of a screw that keeps the silent magic in FORNICATION for me.

I went to get a cup of coffee, came back to the computer, and there was another message from Marilyn. More Bible quotes. And this time the word fornication was in all CAPITALS, bold, italic and bright red. So I wrote back:

It was fornication, I know.
That was what was making my HooHoo glow.
It was up and down.
It was front and back,
I felt my legs go slackety slack, Dear.

I thought it was just some mishap,
When his wife found her way to my shack.
Oops, a big fat gun!
Damn, I had to run!
I escaped out the backety back, Dear.

The wage of Trolling is guilt. Marilyn never wrote me again. I am so going to Hell.

Poor Man's Turkey - Repeated as Public Service

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” - Abraham Lincoln

This recipe comes from Karen Rock and Recipes of the Liberty Bell Chapter #266 - Vietnam Veterans of America. Seems apropos given the cuts in food assistance nationwide the Republicans are working on and the turkey shortage.

Yes, I am even political on Thanksgiving. Probably why I am single. I am not running a Chili Parlor. I am a political organization.

This might taste awfully good on those days when you are sick of leftover Turkey and you have some stuffing left. I never have any stuffing left. And I hate Turkey. Might have to improvise. Happy Thanksgiving.

Poor Man's Turkey

1 pound Ground Beef
1/2 cup Bread Crumbs
1 Egg
1 small Onion, chopped (optional)
2 tablespoons Soy Sauce
1 cup cooked Stuffing
1 slice raw Bacon (optional)

Combine first five ingredients and form into one loaf. Cut in half lengthwise and insert Stuffing into the middle of the loaf. Put back into shape and bake one hour at 375 degrees. Place strip of Bacon on top of meatloaf to keep it from drying out. Serves 4.

RESIST NONLINEAR WARFARE

I am becoming accustomed to being frightened. Maybe all of us are suffering in the midst of NONLINEAR WARFARE. How do you resist a war that nobody but Carl Bernstein says outloud we are fighting? 

"Oh Ma, I don't want to die. I don't think I can stand to smell the bodies fry." - Tina Toxic Queen of Trash

War. Is this not our condition? Nationally, we are now doing two mass shootings a week. Authorities in Texas responded to a bomb explosion at Random, a beer garden near Boerne Lake, KENS-TV reports. There were 2 pipe bombs at the Capitol. Gun deaths now exceed car deaths in 21 States. We have had 239 mass shootings in 2021 so far.

If it looks like a War, and it sounds like War...well you know.

"The Kremlin, according to Barack Obama, is stuck in the “old ways,” trapped in Cold War or even 19th century mindsets. But look closer at the Kremlin’s actions during the crisis in Ukraine and you begin to see a very 21st century mentality, manipulating transnational financial interconnections, spinning global media, and reconfiguring geo-political alliances. Could it be that the West is the one caught up in the “old ways,” while the Kremlin is the geopolitical avant-garde, informed by a dark, subversive reading of globalization?

The Kremlin’s approach might be called “non-linear war,” a term used in a short story written by one of Putin’s closest political advisors, Vladislav Surkov, which was published under his pseudonym, Nathan Dubovitsky, just a few days before the annexation of Crimea. Surkov is credited with inventing the system of “managed democracy” that has dominated Russia in the 21st century, and his new portfolio focuses on foreign policy. This time, he sets his new story in a dystopian future, after the “fifth world war.”

Surkov writes: “It was the first non-linear war. In the primitive wars of the 19th and 20th centuries it was common for just two sides to fight. Two countries, two blocks of allies. Now four coalitions collided. Not two against two, or three against one. All against all.”
https://foreignpolicy.com/2014/05/05/how-putin-is-reinventing-warfare/

"What do I cling to that is useless to understanding our condition?" I ask myself. I have no real answer. Who can focus or think when under constant "shelling?" And gaslighting. Psychopaths can. Psychopaths like Trump and Putin. I am not enjoying government or World by psychopath. 

This is the focus that may work. If my personal integrity is no more, what do I have? Nothing. Some ideas that work for me:

“The wise warrior avoids the battle.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

“All I have on earth is me, myself and my word and I don't break them for no one. So as long as I got those things, I'll be the bomb, you're just a false alarm.”

― Ifeoluwa Egbetade

"You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it."- Malcom X.

#13

Favor and disgrace: same fear.

Honor and distress: same self.

What is meant by

"Favor and disgrace: same fear"?

Favor make the lowly

Fearful when they get it,

Fearful when they lose it.

That's why favor and disgrace are the same fear.

What is meant by

"Honor and distress: same self"?

The self registers our distress:

If we have no self,

We have no distress.

Therefore,

He who values all things as his self

Is fit to manage all things.

He who loves all things as his self

Is fit to be trusted with all things.

- Tao Te Ching translation by Herrymon Maurer

Death and Taxes

Men are killing Women so they do not have to pay delinquent child support, face their parents, or lose their home.

Women in the US are more likely to be murdered during pregnancy or soon after childbirth than to die from the three leading obstetric causes of maternal mortality (hypertensive disorders, hemorrhage, or sepsis). https://www.bmj.com/content/379/bmj.o2499.full

Who would have thought that imprisoning or garnishing the wages of 19-year-olds or sociopaths for delinquent child support would be a problem? 

Who takes the burden for this policy? The government? LOL. Nope. The perceived perpetrator(s). The government can compel childbirth. The government cannot feed and house a Woman and her Children. That would be Socialism.

And we cannot have that.

https://www.nichd.nih.gov/newsroom/news/091622-pregnancy-associated-homicide

https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/

Mary’s Place - Hang Out at Your Own Risk

This dog has no redeeming social value.

 

A drawing of Oliver Cromwell’s head on a spike from the late 18th century

In England, the heads of criminals, especially those convicted of treason, were mounted for display on London Bridge from about 1300 until about 1660. Heads were usually dipped in tar to slow down the decomposition process. Criminal punishment was sometimes posthumous, as the body of Oliver Cromwell was exhumed so that it could be hanged, drawn, and quartered, and his head was mounted on a spike and displayed for 30 years. - wikipedia

Stormy Told or A Girl Can Dream

The Mango Mussolini?

Its sword is teeny weeny.
Its intellect is crude and pedantic.
Yet its ego is gigantic.
I am not the only Shrike
Thinks of Mango’s dupa on a spike.

Shrikes (/ʃraɪk/) are passerine birds of the family Laniidae. The family name, and that of the largest genus, Lanius, is derived from the Latin word for “butcher”, and some shrikes are also known as butcherbirds because of the habit, particularly of males, of impaling prey onto plant spines within their territories.. 

Play the Music. Scroll down to see a Chinese Painting of a shrike. Li Di Court Painter. This is a multi-media experience. Send some money to Wikipedia, a Writer’s Friend, to keep it free. I send a small amount every month. Annual Fund Raiser.

Li Di (李迪, active c.1163-1197), Song Dynasty (960-1279)

Roasted Pumpkin Guts - Repeated as Public Service

CLICK ME!

My favorite holiday is coming. Gorgeous pumpkins of all sizes in the market. So I am doing this again. Note: you can roast the seeds of any hard winter squash.

When I was a child, you could buy a box of roasted salty Indian Brand Pumpkin Seeds at the corner candy store. The box the seeds were packed in had a beautiful illustration of an American Indian in full Chief's headdress. The brand is still around but the illustration is gone from the packaging.

When you get done carving that pumpkin for Halloween or just to make a pie, you can roast your own pumpkin seeds. Roasted pumpkin seeds are so good.

Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

1 and 1/2 cups raw whole Pumpkin Seeds
2 teaspoons Butter, melted
Pinch Salt

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).

Toss seeds in a bowl with the melted butter and salt. Spread the seeds in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake for about 45 minutes or until golden brown; stir occasionally.

This recipe comes from allrecipes.com - for my money the best recipe site on the net. Cooks share their variations on the recipe and their opinions of the recipe's quality. Think Chili Roasted Pumpkin Seeds. Or Cinnamon Roasted Pumpkin Seeds.

Cooks also share practical tips for recipe execution like this tip below. There are a lot of creative cooks in the world. This tip is from Valerie's Kitchen.

"If you've never roasted pumpkin seeds before here are my tips. When you carve your pumpkins scoop the seeds into a colander and the guts onto newspaper. Inevitably some of the guts will be mixed in with the seeds but when you run water over them it's separated out pretty easily. After you drain the rinsed seeds, pour them onto a large, dry cookie sheet and let them sit for 24 hours or so to dry out. Now you can pick out the remaining pieces of pumpkin stuff that didn't get pulled out earlier and they will roast better if they are not wet when they go in the oven. My family prefers them seasoned with garlic salt in place of regular salt but you can use whatever suits your taste. So good!"

History is Your Friend - CONGRESS

We need the Perp Walk(s). Quisling in Pennsylvania.

Scott Perry did not get his hands dirty bear-spraying police during the J6 battle. He created part of the plan and the ideological framework for the J6 event. I live in Pennsylvania. As we say here colloquially, "His ass is mine." Politically speaking of course. Poem for Perry:

There is a Congressman Scott Perry.

Pennsylvanians must be wary. 

What he did on January 6 

Gives patriots fits. 

Another term sure would be scary. 

(Up him; down him. 

FBI and DOJ all around him?)

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, pen name Mark Twain, was called "the Father of American Literature" by William Faulkner. Twain's contempt for Congress is legendary.

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman. - "Foster's Case," New York Tribune, 10 March 1873

Robert Berkeley "Bob" Minor, alternatively known as "Fighting Bob", was a political cartoonist, a radical journalist, and, beginning in 1920, a leading member of the Communist Party USA.

"Use of the name "quisling" as term for collaborators came about upon Vidkun Quisling's 1940 coup d'état. He attempted to seize power to make Norway cease resisting the Germans. The term was introduced to English-speaking audience by British newspaper The Times." - Wikipedia

A White Rose for Remembrance

God bless all of the Folks, known and unknown, in uniform and out, who gave their lives for our Democracy. May they rest in Peace and Honor.

Sometimes the work of a photographer is so beautiful that no words can do it justice. So it is with the work of Eddie C. More of his photographs can be found here:

THE YOUNG DEAD SOLDIERS DO NOT SPEAK

Nevertheless, they are heard in the still houses: who has not heard them?

They have a silence that speaks for them at night and when the clock counts.

They say: We were young. We have died. Remember us.

They say: We have done what we could but until it is finished it is not done.

They say: We have given our lives but until it is finished no one can know what our lives gave.

They say: Our deaths are not ours: they are yours, they will mean what you make them.

They say: Whether our lives and our deaths were for peace and a new hope or for nothing we cannot say, it is you who must say this.

We leave you our deaths. Give them their meaning.

We were young, they say. We have died; remember us.

- Archibald MacLeish (1892-1982)

Yo.

Question: 

What do you think Marjorie Taylor Greene eats for breakfast?

Answer:

……dyck…dude prays she does not bite him…again…i am here every evening…tip the waiter…

Manhattan Don

Baggie of Blow in your pocket.
Lick your finger, stick it in the bag,
Stretch and reach over the Bar,
Offer your frosted finger to the Dancers.

I am not the only floozy who went SNORK
On that stubby coke-finger 

And then went home alone

And laughing at you.

You never ever got laid
Cuz the bouncers kept you
But not your coke-finger,

Far away from the pu^^y.

 
When you ran out of coke and got itchy
Off into the night you lurched

To grab rich girl pu^^y.
They had their own coke.

You say LIE! 

Pocketful of Dope.
You are fake news. 

Bad news. So You.

 - M. de Angelis.

 

RANT - Getting Jiggy at Protest Marches

Kyle's Tears

My March Hat

I do not understand why the Police did not arrest Kyle on sight. How did they know some nerdy guy with a super weapon would not shoot them? Why did they fail to disarm him? I cannot force myself to watch the trial.

So far, the super gun shooters have killed Children and Students and Shoppers and habitues of Prayer Meetings. Where is it safe to BE in America? 

Kyle and Friends have destroyed protest marches. Right to peaceful assembly? Guaranteed right in the Constitution, my sweet bippy.

1/6 tells us that shooting and beating LEOs is kool with the middle and upper classes now. New big game trophy = People.

“Scum of the Earth as some may be in their daily lives, they can all be saints in emergencies.”― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

Java Sweet and Hot

Coffee is good and good for you. Hallelujah! I am celebrating with a cup of Poor Richard's blend coffee from Reading Terminal Market. Life is good.

I was so happy to read this article today. How much do we love coffee? We love coffee so much that we write songs about coffee. Coffee songs below.

Good to know that our love for that first cup in the morning is not in vain. And that drinking another two or three cups may have health benefits.

The illustration is a vintage tin sign. You can find more signs of this type HERE.

Why Coffee Is Good for You
Kris Gunnars, Authority Nutrition

It is more than just dark-colored liquid with caffeine. Coffee actually contains hundreds of different compounds, some of which have important health benefits.

Several massive studies have now shown that the people who drink the most coffee live longer and have a reduced risk of diseases like Alzheimer’s and diabetes. Read more ...

The SCOTUS went SHAZAM! It is now like 1945.

Legislatures must not practice medicine. Practicing medicine without a license is a crime.

Rage. I have it. It's not a good thing for a bipolar person. Not good for me. Not good for others.

The Mother Compelled need not include you in her family or her home. She does not need to feed you or fuck you or befriend you.

Well, say you, "Feminazi, we will pass a law."

How much success did the government have the last time you criminalized abortion? Or drugs? We have checking accounts now. And we vote.

Abortion was advertised in newspapers in Colonial America before women could vote. No one thought childbirth was in anyone's charge but the pregnant person and the midwife. Now, we have put Justice Alito in charge of the American family. 

No more one and done, for ye may die. That cruelty is the Catholic way. Yes, I am a Roman Catholic. I give thanks to Uncle Joe Biden. This is the century in which the Roman Catholic Church will stop maiming and killing Women, Children, and other Odd Citizens. We sane Catholics are seeing to it.

Hemorrhage and sepsis in childbirth and illegal abortion are three major causes of maternal mortality worldwide. Abortion is safer than gestating to term. You could end up being the Mama, Lovebug.

This is not the 50s. Or even the 60s. Women will have sex with each other and help each other. You will be living in the modern equivalent of the Palace Flophouse and Grille. Your biggest Saturday night will be two quarts of beer and a $50.00 tumble at Dora's Bear Flag. *

Talk about suckers carrying "I am stupid" signs. They will put your kid, the one you do not know and you never lived with, to work at age twelve. Sarah Huckafuck has got the pilot program working.

Go ahead and insurrect, you "pussy ass bitches," ** on behalf of Don Con thug and a party who despise you. See what happens. Women will save The Democracy again. ***

##########

* Cannery Row 1945 — "If you're in trouble or hurt or need–go to poor people. They're the only ones that'll help–the only ones." ― John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

** quote Chrissy Teigen — definition: middle/upper-class White snowflakes entranced in colorism

*** Revolutionary Mothers: Women in the Struggle for America's Independence Paperback — Illustrated, February 14, 2006, by Carol Berkin (Author)

Just throw money. No Quarters. 

Venmo me. @PlumStChili

I need a new computer for this extravaganza. 

Be safe and well.

Singing Show Tunes at Nick's Place - UPDATE

Hello Sarah,......well, hello, Sarah.
It's so nice to have you back to get things wrong.
You're lookin' swell, Sarah.......We can tell, Sarah.
You're still throwin'...you're still blowin'...you're still goin' strong.
I feel my head swayin'......while the tape's playin'
One of your old favorite rants from way back when.
So..... here's her rap fellas.......find her an empty fact, fellas.
Sarah'll never go away again.

- Nick Vanocur

I miss Nick Vanocur. I wish I could read his jokes and doggerel about the current situation. I had to repeat this given Sarah Hucksterbee Slanders' latest lies. Rest in Ink and Rhymes.

In a column for the Arkansas Times, longtime editor Max Brantley trashed a speech given by Sarah Huckabee Sanders in Florida on Saturday before fans of Donald Trump who spoke later in the day.

Sarah Sanders' speech panned for wallowing in 'a dystopian world full of fear' before Trump fans - Raw Story - Celebrating 18 Years of Independent Journalism

Trump in Hell

This DOG is one of a series of doggerel poems. The working title is Saga of Bonespurs the Brave. 

Illustration by Buddy McCue, Renaissance Man

POOR RATS

Trump has become a Republican fetish.

They defend him with such industry and relish.

Republicans seem to think

Ship GOP will sink

When we all grok their reign has been Hellish.

(1) Trump PLAN to Use MAGA MIKE as PAWN in Trial DELAY Scheme REVEALED — YouTube

Play the MUSIC. This is a multi-media experience. I get Premium YouTube for the quality of their music videos. 

Bring It On Home To Me (Sam Cooke) | Playing For Change | Song Around The World — YouTube

SEND MONEY TO PLAYING FOR CHANGE.

American Writer