For Simon Fokt Ph.D.

With laughs, this set runs for one or two minutes. When I remember an additional minute, I will add it. There is more, but I have yet to perform this set since I had both knees replaced. 

//////////////////

I am so upset tonight.

You are a comedy audience. Get with it. You have lines. I say: I am very upset. And you say: Awwww. So let’s take it from the top.

I am very upset.

Awwwwww.

I found out my boyfriend is fucking two other women.

(visual joke: I am 80).

Men are animals.

Dogs are more faithful.

I said to him, HAMZA: you keep doing the three women cha cha, you will need more than viagra to get it up. You are going to need a crane.

I said to him, HAMZA: you keep doing the three women cha cha, you going to cha cha yourself right into bypass city.

Listen, I am progressive. When we go to Miami, I buy him a beach bunny. Sometimes two. It is the deceit. And the whining. “I want to go to Miami.” One day, I will drop him off at Tabatchnik’s, where I picked him up.

///////////////////////

Simon chastised me for being rude, crude and pornographic. So...? I think of this as giving him some bang for his bunk.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone somewhere, may be happy. 

H. L. MENCKEN (1880-1956), U.S. journalist.

 

PETS - A Bunny Cop and Songs for Easter

Happy Easter!

I really like this Officer. I would like to make him my Pet. I want to stroke his ears. The photograph gives me odd erotic palpitations. 

“As for me I will follow the path of the pink bunnies.”― Magenta Periwinkle

Notes from Wikipedia: the Writer's Friend. I send them a small amount monthly to keep Wikipedia free. 

James Clarence Wakely was an American actor, songwriter, country Western music vocalist, and one of the last singing cowboys. He wrote the song he is singing in this vintage film. During the 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s, he released records, appeared in several B-Western movies with most of the major studios, appeared on radio and television, and even had his own series of comic books.

Little Bunny Foo Foo" is a children's poem and song. The poem consists of four-line sung verses separated by some spoken words. The verses are sung to the tune of the French-Canadian children's song "Alouette" (1879), which is melodically similar to "Down by the Station" (1948) and the "Itsy Bitsy Spider".[1] The person performing the song usually includes hand gestures, e.g. for "scooping" and "bopping".[1]





T

Mary’s Place - Hang Out at Your Own Risk

This dog has no redeeming social value.

 

A drawing of Oliver Cromwell’s head on a spike from the late 18th century

In England, the heads of criminals, especially those convicted of treason, were mounted for display on London Bridge from about 1300 until about 1660. Heads were usually dipped in tar to slow down the decomposition process. Criminal punishment was sometimes posthumous, as the body of Oliver Cromwell was exhumed so that it could be hanged, drawn, and quartered, and his head was mounted on a spike and displayed for 30 years. - wikipedia

Stormy Told or A Girl Can Dream

The Mango Mussolini?

Its sword is teeny weeny.
Its intellect is crude and pedantic.
Yet its ego is gigantic.
I am not the only Shrike
Thinks of Mango’s dupa on a spike.

Shrikes (/ʃraɪk/) are passerine birds of the family Laniidae. The family name, and that of the largest genus, Lanius, is derived from the Latin word for “butcher”, and some shrikes are also known as butcherbirds because of the habit, particularly of males, of impaling prey onto plant spines within their territories.. 

Play the Music. Scroll down to see a Chinese Painting of a shrike. Li Di Court Painter. This is a multi-media experience. Send some money to Wikipedia, a Writer’s Friend, to keep it free. I send a small amount every month. Annual Fund Raiser.

Li Di (李迪, active c.1163-1197), Song Dynasty (960-1279)

I NEVER DID THIS ALONE

I have been doing my dance on Plum Street for a decade now. I plan an Anniversary Edition. Time to thank the Artists and Writers who have shared their work here. This is only the beginning. Living Anniversary Edition. 

Google decided my blog was pornographic. So Big G said No adsense for you. Bad images, bad! This image is Victorian.

I decided to run ad-free and publish what I liked. See the LABELS in the left column: try FILTH AND DIRT or maybe SEX DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL.

Here we are, Cher Readers and Friends. Such fun.

I will add a TIP ME button when I find out how. I need help paying for this place.

I miss Bede and Nicky.

"Some say life is too complex,
When you boil it down, it's food and sex."
- Nick Vanocur 

HUNTER BIDEN HAS A PENIS…and he uses it.

HELP YOURSELF DEAR

Marjorie Taylor Greene

Showed us

Hunter’s dyck.

Oh, my goodness!
It is so long and thick.
I would jump on Hunter.
If only I could.
Damn thing looks
Like it’s made out of wood.
Pornography in D.C.?
Thank you, Peach Queen.
One of the most fetching penises
I have yet seen.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene shows off X-rated pics of Hunter Biden with women while questioning IRS whistleblower (nypost.com)

• Related Names:
  Federal Theatre Project (U.S.) , sponsor
• Date Created/Published: [California : Federal Art Project, 1937]
• Medium: 1 print (poster) : silkscreen, color.
• Summary: Poster for Federal Theatre Project presentation of “Help Yourself” at the Hollywood Playhouse, showing a hand holding a stack of money.

I Troll the Internet

I am retired. I have nothing and no one to do. Why do I troll? Because I can.

I hang out on the message boards. Lots of evangelical Christians comment there. They have great screen names like LordJesusYourGod and HeHasRisen752. Some of them are Fruit Loops. And then, there is Marilyn.

Marilyn's message is that oral and anal sex are The Original Sin of Adam. Marilyn quoted the Bible and used the word "fornicate" 6 times. I love the word fornicate. It is so euphonious. Say it loud. Say it proud.

So I fired back with A Little Ditty for Marilyn:

Fornicate! Fornicate!
Who gave us this sex so great?
It's God.
As I do the in and out,

I have oft been known to shout:
Oh God.

A couple of hours later, when they let Marilyn use the computer in the day room again, she left me another message with more Bible quotes and the word fornication in all CAPITALS and boldface. So I broke out in song again:

FORNICATION!
I am still under your spell.
And if I could speak,
What an erotic tale I could tell.
Of a screw that I have not forgotten,
Of a screw that keeps the silent magic in FORNICATION for me.

I went to get a cup of coffee, came back to the computer, and there was another message from Marilyn. More Bible quotes. And this time the word fornication was in all CAPITALS, bold, italic and bright red. So I wrote back:

It was fornication, I know.
That was what was making my HooHoo glow.
It was up and down.
It was front and back,
I felt my legs go slackety slack, Dear.

I thought it was just some mishap,
When his wife found her way to my shack.
Oops, a big fat gun!
Damn, I had to run!
I escaped out the backety back, Dear.

The wage of Trolling is guilt. Marilyn never wrote me again. I am so going to Hell.

Dirty Blues Sunday #1

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I had no idea this genre of the Blues existed. I have always loved the Blues. I saw BB King in person from a box near the stage in Madison Square Garden. 

Now, that I know about Dirty Blues, I am going to share some of it with you.

Thomas A. Dorsey

Dirty Blues is about taboo subjects and was played only on jukeboxes. Too dirty for the airwaves. Sex and marijuana?

The Sun is finally shining. I am feeling good. I have to do something until the Bodega opens and I can get some coffee. No one had time to stop at the Reading Terminal Market.

This is Rosetta Howard from Chicago. Singing with Harlem Hamfats. Her songs are still on sale here. In the 1950s she sang with Thomas A. Dorsey at the Pilgrim Baptist Church in Chicago. Both Rosetta Howard and Harlem Hamfats transition between Swing and Blues. Jukebox music. Dancing Music.

78: Decca Sepia Series No.15. Rosetta Howard vocal, accomp. by the Harlem Hamfats

Despite their name, the "Harlem" Hamfats were a Chicago band in the 1930's whose members came from various places; for example, the McCoy brothers hailed from Mississippi, Herb Morand, John Lindsay and Odell Rand were from New Orleans and Horace Malcolm and Freddy Flynn came from Chicago. This is The Weed Smoker's Dream.

Donald is The Shyte - Magic Google Finger

Use a picture. It's worth a thousand words.
Arthur Brisbane

I am feeling angry today. I need to find something to do instead of pop bubble wrap. So PLUNK! my MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER (TRUMP SHIT).

Man is the Great Ape. Some Apes fling POO.

I always make attribution of the Artist's work if I can find it.  Often the creator is Anon Y. Mous. Always sign your work, Artists. Always.

Cartoons by Dave Lynch

by HANKSY

Senor PuttingItIn Sighs "Bozhe moy!"

Spring is here and bipolar bunnies like me can think and hop again. I told you I was Struck Dumb. So I put this together. And then I found the perfect illustration on Raw Story comment. Count on Cagle Cartoonists. They are the bomb! 

I have not paid them for this cartoon. I feel guilty. google has denied me the use of adsense. I am thinking about putting up a paypal contribution link so I can afford to stop pirating great cartoons.

We are Chimpanzees with a bit of extra brain power. Cannot refute such an obvious fact. I like Martin Buber: 'One must work to be good, but one happens to be evil.' Hope and faith in humanity against all the evidence.

Donnie Bonespurs
Wanted to be Prez.
Quick he hired an audience
To claque for what He sez.

"See my swagger? G.O.P.
I will grab your pu^^y.
You will elect me.
Just you wait and see."

Donnie Bonespurs
Got elected Prez.
Everybody gasps and laughs
At all he done and sez.

Now Senor PuttingItIn
Sighs "Bozhe moy!
I have so enjoyed
My fat American toy.

Gender Confusion - UPDATE

A record 7.1 percent of U.S. adults self-identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, and members of Generation Z are driving the growth, according to results from a Gallup survey published Thursday. Alfred Kinsey speculated that most folks are bisexual. Too bad he did not live long enough to comment on current developments. 

If you read Leviticus, you come to understand that the tribe of Levi were a sexy bunch. The Levite rules about what one is 'not supposed to do' in a tent, tell us 'what they were doing' in the tent. Auntie Diddlers, evil Father Rapers (apology to Arlo).

Modern life has become a bit more complicated thanks to Science. I am experiencing gender confusion. Think of the flavors available:

Male, Female, Celibate, Polyamorous, Asexual, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Homosexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer. Did I leave something out?

I have played at all these things (at one time or another) whenever a situation seemed to require it. You do enough of that and eventually all orifices begin to look alike. Talk about confusion. Even the protuberances become mere supporting structures guiding one into the pink, undulating, lubricious, steaming center of the Pile. Anybody remember Plato's Retreat? The place gave new meaning to the mob phrase "going to the mattresses." But I digress.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a member of a hitherto unsung sexual minority: the Polymorphous Perverse. Subsumes all the other letters. Thank you, Sigmund Freud and Merriam Webster, for clearing it all up for me.

"adj.

Characterized by or displaying sexual tendencies that have no specific direction, as in an infant or young child, but that may evolve into acts that are regarded as perversions in adults; 

and:

Relating to or exhibiting infantile sexual tendencies in which the genitals are not yet identified as the sole or principal sexual organs nor coitus as the goal of erotic activity."

I blame some of my confusion and frenetic activity on the Menopause. When the estrogen went ByeBye, I was swept away by a tidal wave of testosterone. Progesterone? I grew a faint mustache. I have never looked back.

Human sexual variation is a fact of life; it is not an opinion, a sin, or a choice. I am so fricking old that I remember the Sixties. I was there. If it feels good, do IT, we said. Safely. I had to add that thought in the 80s.

And then somebody will find a name for It, ban It, write a book about It, make a video of It, develop a program for swearing off It or a pill to make the sensations more exquisite. Ah, modern life. I am not sure how I feel about it.

PU^^Y CATS or GRANDMA WAS A DIRT - Dirty Blues Sunday #6

Some songs here are not Blues. Nothing wrong with a little Swinging Country dirt. According to Green's Dictionary of Slang, Parisian booksellers covered their seditious or obscene material with blue paper in 18th century. The first citation for blue meaning obscene comes from 1818. So I think I can sneak through a couple not so Blues but right on theme songs. 

Sexual Shame and American Politics (or) This diary has absolutely no redeeming social value. - UPDATED

Mark Sanford is BACK! He has written a new book about his adventures. He is running for POTUS. So I just had to bring this filthy tasteless joke back. Scroll to the bottom if all you want to read is the filthy tasteless joke.

‘I’m a citizen with no country:’ Mark Sanford on turning against Trump and his party | Republicans | The Guardian

Weiner's weiner. 

Somewhere there is a picture of me in blue lace undies, wearing all my wrinkles and a black leather dildo. What can I say? It was Halloween and there was Jameson. Google (and now the NSA) knows that once in awhile I like to look at pictures of corpses and Ladyboys with large mammaries.  

However, I must run for office as a public service, because I am shameless.  And therein resides a source of potential power. In my very first speech, I would confess about the dildo and the filthy pictures. And challenge my opponent to do the same. Just to keep everybody honest. Think about it. If you remove sexual peccadilloes as a disqualifying condition for office, what is there to lie about given general honesty otherwise?

My confession would guarantee undying interest in myself by the MS Media forever.  Think Anthony Weiner's penis pictures. A sigh of relief would be heard in Congress. Normal folks who like to look at weird pictures would see me as friendly. Do you have any idea how many folks would actually vote for me? I could carry a political party to victory on this stance alone. Yea or nay, sex and crime sells. 

I am going to be President if I keep this up. One, make folks laugh and they are yours. Life is looking kind of grim lately. Two, everybody is sick to death of hearing about what other people do with their Things. Maybe we could talk about important things? Like nuclear disarmament? Ending world hunger? Peace? Clean water? 

I got really tired of hearing about "Christian marriage." Dude has no problem reaching into the marriages of others to compel childbirth. Don’t even bother telling me this is not a nice thing to say. Or it is not funny or too snarky. I warned you not to read it, did I not?
*Sanford menage a trois: Jenny, Mark and God. I do wonder who got sloppy seconds.

The Evil Queen Said What? - UPDATE

Cardinal Burke said that the Roman Catholic Church, led by Pope Frankie, is a 'rudderless ship.' 

I love my Papa Frank. As long as we are flinging poo, Cardinal, I think I will join in the fun.

When I was confirmed at Immaculate Conception, there was an altar rail between me and the Bishop's johnson. I never see pictures of Pope Frankie with some guy's face in his crotch. I wonder if the phrase 'tone deaf' has any meaning for the Cardinal.

Pope Frankie did not ask for much. Pope Frankie only asked Burke to shut the fuck up. You would think a prince of the church would have the grace and good sense to accommodate God's representative on Earth. Hey, do not give me any lip. I am just holding the RCC to its own standards. 

Do you think the Cardinal is a power top? If it looks like a power top and walks like a power top ... well, you know. Cardinal Burke has so much 'rudder' he needs some nameless, faceless boy to carry it for him and look after his hat. See that big honker of a ruby ring that matches Burke's rudder?

Cardinal Burke says it is not a good idea to invite my same-sex-married Sister and her spouse to Christmas Dinner because it may hurt the children to see them. Never mind the happy couple has a son biologically related to both Women. 

First, when did Cardinal Burke become the Host at my holiday dinner table? What hubris. What revolting narcissism.

Second, I do not want my children and grandchildren to see Cardinal Burke. They might point and laugh, and that is rude. We must avoid "occasions of sin."

Third, I want to avoid seeing Cardinal Burke. Evil Queen. Evidently, Pope Frankie feels the same way.

See the Nuns way back there on the balcony in the photograph?

Thank you, Federico Fellini, for the fabulous fashion tips. Do you think all this satin and lace and nasty remarks about my family is what Jesus had in mind? Do ya think Cardinal Burke would look better in purple than the red with ermine? So stodgy. Cardinal Burke needs help.

Filth and Dirt - The Penis

I am getting entirely too serious of late. I think it is past time we had a little filth and dirt. If you want more filth and dirt, just click on the "Filth and Dirt" link in the LABELS in the left margin.

Feeling a little oppressed by our patriarchal culture? If you go to the luriddigs.com site, you will never see a man or his penis in the same way again.

I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I am not sure if it is an endearing, sad, funny or hot thing. I do warn you that it is an ADULT thing.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/blog/souvenir-naughty-cactus-sighting/

http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/featured/10-most-suggestive-cacti-on-earth/11423

Ted Cruz is officially running for President. I iz laffing.

I just have to say it. 

Ted Ooze is gay as a box of Robert Jeffress. Cruz Control is gay as a pair of crotchless chaps. This is not a bad thing really. Some of my best friends...etc.

I ask myself:
Could the Cruiser Cruz really be the "homo demon" sent to demolish the Black Woman and the Republican Party by Obama? 

I mean, my gaydar has to be as good as Pastor Doctor James David Manning's gaydar any day. I am here and I am Queer. What does he know about "homo demons" really?

NYC pastor: ‘Pervert’ Obama is ‘releasing white homo demons to scoop up all Black American men’

I would go on but, I am starting to feel guilty for noticing the fabulousness and then commenting on it. I know I am politically incorrect. I do not care. Ted Cruz is so gay that when he farts, crepe paper streams out of his anus.

by Taylor Marsh

Oh Teddy Cruiser Cruz, Homo White Demon of the Universe, you are so cute in such a perverse oily pukey way. Your Tea Party dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.

UPDATE: More Pastor Manning below. When you really think about it, Pastor Doctor James Manning is so gay.

The Penis and the Gun or This is for Fighting and This is for Fun

There are a number of websites that are tracking accidental gun wounding and gun death. You can read a new gun death or wounding story every day in America. I was in a constant state of upset. Toddlers dying and/or shooting their Mother or their little brother. Just unbearable. And then I switched. 

The whole American gun debacle is so ugly, ridiculous, and constant that all I can do now is laugh. Do you think maybe God has a sense of humor? A truly black sense of humor? I mean, what would you find funny if you were God? I think "BANG - right in the penis!"

Gun enthusiasts shoot themselves in the dick regularly. Oh the schadenfreude - it is delicious. "His girlfriend's little pink pistol" got him right in his little pink pistol.

I asked myself, "Self, could something funnier than some guy shooting himself in the dick exist?" How low can God go? Oh me of little faith. How about shooting your Mother in church? Lord, have mercy. Have mercy, God, on a suffering people. God say "Be calm. Breathe. Free will."

First come the dick shootings and then come the Mama fraggings in that order. I had to stop there were so many. Incoming!

Yakima Herald, Washington - WENATCHEE — Authorities say Martin Eugene Hoyer was on the second day of a methamphetamine binge when he decided to kick in a neighbor’s door to rescue her from hallucinatory “Mexicans.” When he did so, the handgun in his waistband discharged, sending a bullet through his lower abdomen and into his scrotum, police said.
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) – Police in Portland say a man suspected of shooting a neighbor shot himself in the groin while trying to leave the scene of the crime.
LEHIGH ACRES, FL - A 23-year-old man was taken to the hospital with multiple burn wounds after he accidentally shot himself in the genitals with a flare gun, according to the Lee County Sheriff's Office.
Man accidentally shoots himself in groin at Alaska State Fair by Tegan Hanlon
A man in Macon Georgia shot himself in the penis on Thursday, according to WMAZ Channel 13.
CHANDLER, Ariz. – Police are preaching firearms safety after a Chandler man accidentally shot himself in the penis with his girlfriend's little pink pistol.
Police in the town of Rio Claro received a call around 8:00 a.m. on Sunday from witnesses who had heard a shot coming from a parked car. The responding officers found a driver slumped at the wheel bleeding from his... private parts.\
Argus Leader Donald Anthony Watson was admitted to the Avera McKennan emergency room about 1:30 a.m. Sept. 6 for a gunshot wound to his penis, according to an arrest affidavit. When questioned by police, the 43-year-old said he was shot by “a black guy (who) tried to rob” him while he was taking out the trash at his apartment.

 Last but not least, the mama woundings. I had to stop. I am a Mama. 

Sheriff's deputy unintentionally shoots mother during wedding ceremony
Cory Golightly is a sheriff's deputy in the McCracken County Sheriff's Department in Kentucky. He was off-duty, attending a wedding with his mother at the Bardwell Baptist Church in Carlisle County when he dropped his gun.
According to witnesses, Golightly was adjusting his jacket and the gun and holster fell out. The gun discharged when it hit the floor. The bullet hit his Mother. Golightly's mother was taken to the hospital and is said to be in stable condition. The pianist at the wedding said Golightly was very composed throughout the incident. "He said, 'Mom, breathe and be calm. Be calm," he said. Golightly has been placed on paid leave while the incident is investigated. His name is Corry Golightly. 

Mississippi woman was severely injured on Tuesday after her son accidentally shot her in the face. WDAM reported that Richard Lawrence told officers he was sitting in his truck showing his mother his new .38 caliber pistol when the gun mistakenly discharged, shooting the woman in the face.

Flying on Thanksgiving? Shave your legs. - with Updates below the Flower Colophon

UPDATES BELOW: There is a new change in procedure at TSA since I wrote this seven years ago. Groping has gotten more sincere. Time to try my solution? Illustration from Second Story Window.

                                       

Flying on Thanksgiving? Do not even think about it. Stay home, make some hot chocolate and get out the popcorn. There is going to be a big strike at airport security. The Transportation Security Administration folks are groping the genitals of adults and children.

I am for a major civil rights action. But I say: Do not opt out of the scanner and make them grope you to protest, even though it surely will mess things up bigtime.

Too tame for me. Too much chance you will make your fellow humans mad. Make them mad and they will not support your cause. I say, give the people you are going to inconvenience some bang for their buck.

Take off all your clothes when you get to the first scanner. Every stitch. Then bend over and spread your cheeks so everyone in the airport can see your Stuff. Revolve slowly while bent over so there is a 360 degree view for everyone. Be careful, it is easy to fall down while doing this. Go slowly. Give them the Full Monty.

If you have not been tazed and/or arrested at the end of your revolution (yes, this is a pun and I intentionally committed it), calmly stand in line and put your clothes back on. Make everybody wait. Let everyone take pictures.

I think we could pay people to do this, if we have to. I did it in high heels on New York City bars for money, so I know you will not have a problem finding personnel. Be sure to have the protesters revolve (revolt?...revolutionize?) in more than one airport.  Ask patriotic porn stars to do it pro bono. Everybody wants to make a contribution.

Problem solved. Probably take about three weeks for The Suits to construct a backdown narrative and get it out there to The Media. Be the best political caucus race and general circus you ever saw. Think of the jokes on late night TV. Problem solved. Maybe I will run for President.

I wrote the initial essay above about the Transportation Safety Authority in November 2010 when folks were considering a huge protest. It is seven years later. Maybe they have gotten worse? Maybe it is time to do it my way? More information at the links.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/10/10/dying-woman-tsa-wanted-to-check-under-my-bandages/

A woman who’s dying of leukemia says that agents with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) at Sea-Tac Airport in Seattle forced her to lift up her shirt in front of a crowd so they could check underneath her bandages.

Disabled cancer patient slammed to the ground by TSA guards, lawsuit claims

Hannah Cohen, 18, was on her way home from St Jude’s Hospital when a scanner went off and led to incident that left her ‘physically and emotionally’ injured

Hands On with the TSA's New 'Enhanced' Pat-Down Procedure
The government goes for second-base. By JOHN MCCORMACK

I'm not a crazy ACLU-type. I've had no problem with body-scanners or previous TSA pat-downs. In 2009, a terrorist famously smuggled a bomb in his underwear aboard a U.S. flight. But an agent of the state should probably only touch a citizen's genitals seven or eight times if the agent has reasonable suspicion, and not because a machine is malfunctioning or calibrated, intentionally or unintentionally, to detect explosives on everyone who is tested.

I am a 'crazy ACLU type' and a rape survivor. I would announce before pat down 'Touch my genitals and I break your face.' Then do my best to break the face. I do not fly. 

POLICY NOT PENIS - or - HE HAS RISEN

Donald Trump has broken all kinds of norms during his presidential campaign, but he just went to a whole new level this morning by tweeting what is supposedly an image of his private-parts. The tweet was quickly deleted but not before being retweeted over 5,000 times. See more here... 

Clayton Jones is the Editorial Cartoonist.

I searched for Trumpolini's pee-pee-pic. Alas, it really has been deleted.

So I let the MAGIC OF GOOGLE work for me and I found lots about the Donald's pee pee. He keeps it very clean.

It is so huuuge it can double as a flagpole. Daily Call cartoon by Mark L. Taylor, 2015. Open source and free to use with link to www.thedailycall.org

And when necessary, Trumpolini wears his raincoat and practices safe sex. 

Our Leader - he has a penis* and he uses it. 

*and it is huuuggge.

 

PORK!

It is too serious around here. Past time for some Filth and Dirt. Filth & Dirt is a whole category here.

Speaking of swine, I take this opportunity to say we need to regularly and randomly drug test Congress. Start with Steve Cantaloupe Calves King. But I digress.

“Squeal” is the name of the campaign ad Joni Ernst ran during the Iowa GOP primary. Ernst said learning how to castrate hogs made her qualified to cut pork (as in federal spending) in Washington.

Fukum says "Joni Ernst is Michele Bachmann with pig testicles." Wrong. Only if she has the testicles in her pocket. 

I have it on good authority that this photograph on the left is a Joni Ernst selfie. Gives new meaning to the verb to pork.

Of course, I am lying. But why should FUX Snooze and Ernst have all the fun?

DESPITE CAMPAIGNING ON PORK-CUTTING FAMILY LIVING “WITHIN OUR MEANS,” SEN. ERNST’S KIN TOOK OVER $460,000 IN FARM SUBSIDIES

Joni Ernst's teeth make me nervous and I am not even male. I am going to stock up on popcorn and beer. I think this woman is a hoot.

This is a Cagle Post cartoon by Taylor Jones. Cagle Post could use some support from lovers of editorial cartoons. They are under political cyberattack. Contribute a little as a buck a month and enjoy guilt free superior cartoon pleasure. See the cartoonist talking about his work in the video below.