Manhattan Don

Baggie of Blow in your pocket.
Lick your finger, stick it in the bag,
Stretch and reach over the Bar,
Offer your frosted finger to the Dancers.

I am not the only floozy who went SNORK
On that stubby coke-finger 

And then went home alone

And laughing at you.

You never ever got laid
Cuz the bouncers kept you
But not your coke-finger,

Far away from the pu^^y.

 
When you ran out of coke and got itchy
Off into the night you lurched

To grab rich girl pu^^y.
They had their own coke.

You say LIE! 

Pocketful of Dope.
You are fake news. 

Bad news. So You.

 - M. de Angelis.

 

I get tired of it all. - or - My Adventure among the Twats. UPDATE !!

GO ELON! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. GO ELON!

So I got thrown off twatter again. I have a lot to say about my brief twatter adventure. I was Irene Adler. What did I do? As you can see Larry Motuz, I have improved. I did not write FUCK. So there. I wrote this:

You come anywhere near my daughters IN REAL LIFE to enforce your agenda on their bodies and minds, I will rip your gonads off, nail your penis to my front door and urinate on your bleeding spasming body. We clear?

BACK - Some quick observations.

I will add bits and pieces as I process getting thrown off for the third time. I was having fun. So was my audience. I knew writing what I wrote would get me thrown out. I just got so I wanted to puke over twatter culture. Was a stupid thing to do. I will show you - I will hurt me. I thought I gave that baby shyte rage up.

twatter is a stratified society, You have Blue Check people and everybody else.. So I tried to get blue checked. I want to be known. I am the Second Funniest Comedian in Philly. Hat tip to Rose Wild. I do not make the cut evidently. No dice. 

My reader rate went up. I linked articles when it was appropriate. That was nice. In my messages appeared an NEW offer to write short editorials along with all the things they were going to do for me. No payment schedule. 

It is not considered abuse if wombnazis call you 'murderer and low class and uneducated'. If you fight back at the level of insult you are receiving, the abuser rats you out with friends. I never rat anybody out.

Anybody else comment on aol boards? It was the Cadillac of commenting systems. Rather bad service we are receiving today. AOL had real people moderating, not algorithms and censorbots.

I did a gospel type call and response as a social experiment. This was the CALL:

I really am going to write a second verse. Any of the "woke left" can help with another verse. Why I have to do all the work?
Lauren Boebert is so perfect. 

Oh what can we do? 

She's an insurrectionist 

And homicidal too.

This was the RESPONSE: Many were written. Hope I can find them again. I will publish them. They were GREAT.

Top mention earned 25 engagements

CharChar@charcharjones  Jan 30@IreneAd17234214 @laurenboebert Boebert is a basic bit*h. Whose husband showed his little inch. She is vile and full of lies. I’m looking forward to her demise. #LaurenBoebertIsATerrorist #ExpelLaurenBoebert

Sign of the Month - February 2017

February is a tough month for me. No light. The cold, the slippery icy sidewalks and the wind keep me indoors. I get depressed. 

I am so off my feed that the month is almost over and no sign(s). So this month, I am providing just one sign but this sign won the internet. Enjoy. 

говорить лохи

Google translate says my title is Russian for Speak up, Fuckers. A lot of you Russians are reading me and saying ничего. Seems a little rude. 

с новым годом.

OMG GOP WTF? - Klingon Shit Happens - UPDATE

UPDATE: Rev. Klingenschmidt rides again!

I knew before he was elected that KlingonShit was going to be popcorn worthy. I love it when subsequent events prove my wisdom. KlingonShit has been removed from a committee by the Republican party. You voted for him Colorado. I iz laffing.

Last week, a pregnant woman in Colorado was attacked by a stranger who stabbed her in the stomach and cut her baby out of her womb, and Republican state legislator Gordon Klingenschmitt is attributing the attack to God's curse upon America for the sin of legal abortion. - Right Wing Watch

It's Colorado rocky mountain high.
I've seen it raining fire in the sky.
Friends around the campfire
And everybodys high.
Rocky mountain high ...
- John Denver

The Republican Party candidate for State Representative from El Paso County Colorado is Rev. Gordon James Klingenschmitt.  Rev. Klingenschmitt is an Evangelical Christian who has a daily religious program carried to a number of outlets by Direct TV.

Are Colorado Republicans insane? This is the guy who preaches that the FCC is allowing demonic spirits to "molest and visually rape your children." And preaches that Obamacare causes cancer. And homosexuality is a sin and a "foul cancer." 

I do not think insanity or Republicans are the reason this guy won his primary. "What is the reason?" I ask myself and I answer thus:

I think stoners are doing a takedown for shitz and giggles. Confess. How many stoners registered Republican just so you could vote for this guy? How many trekkies think I should apologize for the Klingon joke?

My evidence for a charge of stoner and trekkie hijinks? "Gordon does not speak on behalf of the Republican Party. To suggest otherwise is inaccurate and dishonest," said Ryan Call, chairman of the Colorado Republican Party. The Navy did not want this guy either so they canned him.

Stoners and Trekkies look sharp. Caveat emptor! This twatwaffle is serious as a heart attack. And like the Tundra Twat, he sounds sane enough at first look to get elected. All this sanctimony is giving me serious agita.

SexPig Terrorist Who Supports Forced Birthers

Today's sexpig is Zachary Jordan Klundt. I cannot find any information that he is guilty of explicitly sexual crimes yet. He just hates women, pregnant or otherwise.

Mr. Klundt is charged with arson, theft, and vandalism, which is the pervert trifecta. He is a white supremacist with a gun too. Several guns.

One account of the vandalism said there was a "powdery yellow substance" all over everything." Maybe it was pollen? Maybe his Momma never had "the talk" with him and he is just an excitable boy? You think he got a woody when he was destroying all the Art?

Mr. Klundt took documents and files. Mr. Klundt and his "prolife" buddies could be coming after you or your cousin Flora to replay a 21st Century version of The Scarlet Letter. Just contemplate that for a moment.

I promised myself I would not make fun of his name. I will not make fun of his name. Unacceptable. I will just make fun of his Mother's name, which is Twyla Klundt.

Mrs. Twyla Klundt runs the crisis pregnancy center mentioned below. I like it as Twatwaffle Kundt. Be a great name for a graphic novel. I hope this oaf's white supremacist buddies do not come after me. Be a shame to die for a Twat Joke.

Suspect In Montana Clinic Vandalism May Be Linked To Controversial ‘Crisis Pregnancy’ Center

By David Neiwert

The clinic, All Families Healthcare, was vandalized overnight Monday when one or more perpetrators broke glass and equipment throughout the office. Zachary Klundt, a 24-year-old Kalispell resident, was arrested while breaking into another building early Tuesday morning, and was promptly linked to the clinic burglary because of evidence he was carrying.

Scrofulous Donkey Dick with Music

Dork. 

I got mad at Governor Sam Brownback. I cannot believe what I twatted to him on Twitter. I am so going to Hell.

One day, young Miss Emma Sullivan tweeted a nasty tweet to Governor Sam Brownback. Con brio.

Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot

Somebody from the Governor's office called her school and reported her. How high school is that? It was so corn snorting pea picking stupid that news of the event went viral. The British press even got hold of it.

Brownback ended up apologizing to Emma Sullivan. I like to think I had a small hand in that. Some snarky blogger suggested we bombard Brownback's office with nasty tweets in a show of support for Ms. Emma. Seemed appropriate to me. Some people don't know what Peace is unless they have experienced Fuss.

I tweeted (twatted?) nasty tweets to Governor Sam Brownback in the service of Justice and the American Way. Old Women can say any goddamn thing we want to say.  It is one of the perquisites of being older than dirt.

I have to confess (brag about?) how mean to Sam Brownback I have been. I need absolution, Cher Reader. You know what the worst part is? It was fun being a Filthy Tweeter. I discovered I am not half bad at it. It is like putting a message in a bottle and tossing it in the sea. One hopes for a response.

I twatted, among other things:

Yo Sam, stop sucking off prostitutes in the capitol rest room. You embarrassing the junkies.

@govsambrownback sucks scrofulous donkey dick.

I now have 20 new Twitter Followers. Filthy Tweeters of America Unite! You have nothing to lose but Sam Brownback. Phooey. 

Twitter Follies

I am fricking old. So I do not entirely understand how Twitter works.

However, I have big brass ovaries and I often learn things by jumping right into the mess to see what happens.  So I have Twatted in the past.  I decided today that I can learn a lot more by creating a new hash tag and watching how it grows. Maybe it will grow; maybe it will not.

New Hash Tag:
#UpPaulRyansAssWithAWandOfBrass

My first tweet:

Paulie Ryan has a dick,
Eee Eye Eee Eye Oh 
Who would fuck him? He makes me Sick.
Eee Eye Eee Eye Oh.

Now you might ask "Why is such a sweet Old Lady saying such nasty things about Paul Ryan?" Eezy Peezy. Just read THIS. No that is not ME above. It is a protester at the RNC.

I draw your attention to this carefully researched essay on Rape. I recommend every woman and any man who loves women read it. 

Twat Did You Say? - Update

Update:

------------------------------------------------------------

There is Tempest in the Progressive Teapot. Bill Maher called Sarah Palin a "dumb twat."

This time the orange pekoe tsunami comes from the front page of dkos. A pox on the National Organization of Women for their holier-than-thou stance.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/03/27/960371/-Why-we-must-defend-Sarah-Palin

I "must" do what?

Defend Sarah Palin from the Big Bad Bill Maher?

Alaskans are erecting Poop Flags in Sarah Palin's honor. You think maybe Alaskans know something we don't know? Sarah Palin is a "dumb twat." Truth is an absolute defense to a charge of slander. And like my Father always said "I do not have to do anything but die."

There used to be a great photograph of a Sarah Palin poop flag on the blog Mudflats. It has been removed. No problem. Here is an example of a poop flag hung for another fabulous politician, just in case you have never seen a poop flag:

Comedians traditionally get a pass from PTA brand politeness. The Jester can say anything to anybody. That is the rule. If you do not like that, do not watch comedy. But "call off your tired old ethics" as Margot St. James says so succinctly. I am okay with the word Twat. The Prime Minister of Great Britain is okay with the word Twat. Twat is a unisex description. Do not watch comedy if you cannot take a joke.

Comedians have a special license to use language in any way they see fit. Lenny Bruce suffered to make that privilege a reality. And the Whiners and Pearl Clutchers are not going to make light of his sacrifice and his travail.

 Do not like evil dirty jokes? Do not listen to comedy. I am pro choice about more than my pudenda. I am a comedian. Comedy is an Art. I get to choose the brush strokes, the color, and the subject. Words are my paint. I will use any fucking word I want to use.

I am very dirty in a very polite way in my act. I can make any crowd laugh within 3 sentences. It took me awhile to learn to do that. It took Bill Maher awhile too. Doing standup is a trial by fire. I think Maher's politics are right on. I do not find Maher particularly funny. We both do comedy. I will defend to the death his right to be bad at it, in all senses of the word "bad."

You go on with your bad self, Bill Maher. Good night, Lenny, wherever you are.