I Troll the Internet

I am retired. I have nothing and no one to do. Why do I troll? Because I can.

I hang out on the message boards. Lots of evangelical Christians comment there. They have great screen names like LordJesusYourGod and HeHasRisen752. Some of them are Fruit Loops. And then, there is Marilyn.

Marilyn's message is that oral and anal sex are The Original Sin of Adam. Marilyn quoted the Bible and used the word "fornicate" 6 times. I love the word fornicate. It is so euphonious. Say it loud. Say it proud.

So I fired back with A Little Ditty for Marilyn:

Fornicate! Fornicate!
Who gave us this sex so great?
It's God.
As I do the in and out,

I have oft been known to shout:
Oh God.

A couple of hours later, when they let Marilyn use the computer in the day room again, she left me another message with more Bible quotes and the word fornication in all CAPITALS and boldface. So I broke out in song again:

FORNICATION!
I am still under your spell.
And if I could speak,
What an erotic tale I could tell.
Of a screw that I have not forgotten,
Of a screw that keeps the silent magic in FORNICATION for me.

I went to get a cup of coffee, came back to the computer, and there was another message from Marilyn. More Bible quotes. And this time the word fornication was in all CAPITALS, bold, italic and bright red. So I wrote back:

It was fornication, I know.
That was what was making my HooHoo glow.
It was up and down.
It was front and back,
I felt my legs go slackety slack, Dear.

I thought it was just some mishap,
When his wife found her way to my shack.
Oops, a big fat gun!
Damn, I had to run!
I escaped out the backety back, Dear.

The wage of Trolling is guilt. Marilyn never wrote me again. I am so going to Hell.

Mary’s Place - Hang Out at Your Own Risk

This dog has no redeeming social value.

 

A drawing of Oliver Cromwell’s head on a spike from the late 18th century

In England, the heads of criminals, especially those convicted of treason, were mounted for display on London Bridge from about 1300 until about 1660. Heads were usually dipped in tar to slow down the decomposition process. Criminal punishment was sometimes posthumous, as the body of Oliver Cromwell was exhumed so that it could be hanged, drawn, and quartered, and his head was mounted on a spike and displayed for 30 years. - wikipedia

Stormy Told or A Girl Can Dream

The Mango Mussolini?

Its sword is teeny weeny.
Its intellect is crude and pedantic.
Yet its ego is gigantic.
I am not the only Shrike
Thinks of Mango’s dupa on a spike.

Shrikes (/ʃraɪk/) are passerine birds of the family Laniidae. The family name, and that of the largest genus, Lanius, is derived from the Latin word for “butcher”, and some shrikes are also known as butcherbirds because of the habit, particularly of males, of impaling prey onto plant spines within their territories.. 

Play the Music. Scroll down to see a Chinese Painting of a shrike. Li Di Court Painter. This is a multi-media experience. Send some money to Wikipedia, a Writer’s Friend, to keep it free. I send a small amount every month. Annual Fund Raiser.

Li Di (李迪, active c.1163-1197), Song Dynasty (960-1279)

Song for the Oily Wrestler and My Heros

WORD PLAY

FUCK (with) synonyms: lay screw shag bang bonk score schtup #$% and some I surely missed. Pick your favorite.

When I turn on YouTube at the end of the day,
When the last winds of work blues have flown,
Conway and Swalwell will be 

There and waiting for me.
I won’t have to #$% Gym Jordan alone.

I won’t have to screw Jordan alone.

Kinzinger’s career died my sins to atone.

Through the darkness, I see.
He’ll still be working with me.
I won’t have to schtup Gym Jordan alone.

Though the billows of lies and trouble may sweep
Jared Moskowitz will care for our own
Until the end of the journey
The Democracy he will keep
I won’t have to bang Jordan alone.

Note: The Democracy is what FDR called All Americans

I used a beautiful old Christian Hymn for rhyme scheme and meter. I know this Singer will understand and forgive me. He was a touch badly behaved once in awhile like me. 

This is a living and transforming Dog. I need three more verses/chorus. I will accept assistance.

Mike Pence is Running for President

CLOTHESPIN OPTIONAL

I know a guy
Who lives in a shoe.
Every day he has
Nothing to do.
But cavil and sigh.

I know a guy
Who swallowed some poo.
No one knows why
He swallowed doo doo.

I know why he did that jig.
He swallowed doo to help a Pig.
Let's make him cry.

I know a guy with a bleeding eye.

I know why he's covered by fly.

It's all because he swallowed pig doo.

Smells foul now morning poo from the prig do.

Cavil and sigh. 

Battle on January 6, 2021 - Quisling in Pennsylvania

Cartoon AMERICAN EXAMINER, 1910 Dave Thomson collection

Scott Perry did not get his hands dirty killing people or bear-spraying police during the battle. He created part of the plan and the ideological framework for the event. I live in Pennsylvania. As we say here colloquially, “His ass is mine.”  Politically speaking of course.

There is a Congressman Scott Perry
Of whom Pennsylvanians must be wary.
What he did on January 6th
Gives the Patriots fits.
Another term sure would be scary.
Up him; down him.
FBI all around him.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, pen name Mark Twain, was called “the Father of American Literature” by William Faulkner. Twain’s contempt for Congress is legendary.*

Robert Berkeley “Bob” Minor, alternatively known as “Fighting Bob”, was a political cartoonist, a radical journalist, and, beginning in 1920, a leading member of the Communist Party USA.

“The use of the name “quisling” as a term for collaborators or traitors in general probably came about upon Vidkun Quisling’s unsuccessful 1940 coup d’état, when he attempted to seize power and make Norway cease resisting the invading Germans. The term was widely introduced to an English-speaking audience by the British newspaper The Times.” — Wikipedia

* Twain's quotes come from Goodreads.

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”― Mark Twain

"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, unless, of course, you are congress."
— Mark Twain

HUNTER BIDEN HAS A PENIS…and he uses it.

HELP YOURSELF DEAR

Marjorie Taylor Greene

Showed us

Hunter’s dyck.

Oh, my goodness!
It is so long and thick.
I would jump on Hunter.
If only I could.
Damn thing looks
Like it’s made out of wood.
Pornography in D.C.?
Thank you, Peach Queen.
One of the most fetching penises
I have yet seen.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene shows off X-rated pics of Hunter Biden with women while questioning IRS whistleblower (nypost.com)

• Related Names:
  Federal Theatre Project (U.S.) , sponsor
• Date Created/Published: [California : Federal Art Project, 1937]
• Medium: 1 print (poster) : silkscreen, color.
• Summary: Poster for Federal Theatre Project presentation of “Help Yourself” at the Hollywood Playhouse, showing a hand holding a stack of money.

Good night, Sweet Ponce. Flights of Angels sing thee to thy Best.

From Cartoon Movement

Mike Pence is running for President of the United States of America. Anyone surprised?

The rhyme scheme and meter appropriated from I Know an Old Lady as written by Rose Bonne (lyrics)  and Canadian/English folk artist Alan Mills copyrighted in 1952. Sung by a young Burl Ives in the video below.

CLOTHESPIN OPTIONAL

I know a guy
Who lives in a shoe.
Everyday he has
Nothing to do.
But cavil and sigh.

I know a guy
Who swallowed some poo.
No one knows why
He swallowed doo doo.

I know why he did that jig.
He swallowed doo to help a Pig.
Let's make him cry.

I know a guy with bleeding eye.

I know why he's covered fly.

It's all because he swallowed pig doo.

Smells foul now morning poo from the prig do.

Cavil and sigh. 

Doggerel can be Sweet and Romantic

 From a poster named Flying Junior:

A MORNING POEM

My weenie is just tiny,
He's like a little mouse;
But even though he's little,
He has a tiny house.

He mostly likes to stay inside,
And come out for a peep.
But there is a girl he likes,
And dreams of when he sleeps.

Mangey Fetlocks is The Man!

 I bow down to a Doggerel Master. So fine. 

I think this is a poem. Is this a title?

CRIB GIRL

I wrote this poem by accident on a social media thread. Maybe I am leaking? Ack!

I think this is a poem. Is this a title?
by Mary De Angelis

There is no problem.
You are the problem.
If there is a problem,

It is the same old problem.

Since it is the same old problem, 

There is no problem.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

SLOGANS FOR T SHIRTS & Doggerel by John Dantzler

Cher Readers, I am being censored by google and youtube. Pressure is aimed to get me to put my Blog behind an Adults Only warning. Anyone cares to share their opinion about censorship on the Net is so very welcome to do so. I do put the spicy stuff behind a TAG - Filth and Dirt. 

T-shirt Epitaph:

RASH WAS A PIGDOG...

and then he died. 

NO NEW LAWS

Enforce Old Ones.

WE NEED

the

PERP WALKS

Marjorie Taylor Greene

Her thoughts are quite insane. Kev has no guts; the Dems adjust. Marjorie Taylor Greene Obscene obscene obscene.

- John Dantzler

The Graphic PhotoShop Art below came from Freaking News. It was a contest site based in China and had worldwide contestants. It does not exist anymore. What is going on in China?

 

I finally got this poem right. Merry Christmas to me and thee.

A Bitty Ditty for Marilyn

Fornicate! Fornicate!

Who gave us this SEX so great?

It's God.

As I do the in and out,

I have oft been known to shout:

Oh God!
Amen.

And here is a Christmas poem for your enjoyment
by Anonymous .

Twelve Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of Christmas, my Rupert gave to Me:

12 dullards droning
11 ranters ranting
10 bores-a-boring
9 baggers bragging
8 hawks-a-hawking
7 spinners spinning
6 geezers greying
5 Ben-gha-zis
4 Blondes with Thongs
3 Freedom Fowl
2 Phony Facts
and a pervert named Bill O' Reilly.

I am a Twitter Reject

Twits say I advocated violence. I say I write Doggerel. Doggerel is vicious and funny and it has to rhyme. Meter is usually simple. Twitter told me "Here's your hat, do not come back."

Here is my crime in a poem below. I also said Kevin McCarthy is a dumbass. That made me persona non grata. Oh, and I suggested facebook and twitter be made public utilities. I just do not know how to shut up.

Spineless Susan is a dick.
Smack her with a goodly stick.
Eat her liver with a nice Chianti
Or beat her peacefully with Avenatti.

How about a filthy one just for fun. Hey, after a dry  time, at least I am writing.

Song #2 for My Hero

Avenatti does not come from Madras
But his balls must be made out of brass.
In Stormy weather,
They clanged clang together
And sparks burned Michael Cohen in the ass.   

  copyright MDeAngelis

Nick Sings Dixie

Way down South
In the Land of Cotton
Racism there is kind of rotten.
Oy vey!
Oy vey!
Oy vey!
It's Dixie Land. 


I am so sorry to report that Nick Vanocur has died. He is sorely missed by friends and fans. 

New Doggerel. Cheap and Vicious.

“If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.”
― Don Marquis

Doggerel is cheap, vicious and mighty satisfying. I cannot stop. Delicious.

Georgie Conway Pudding and Pie.
Went on TV and made Trump cry.
Roughed Trump up with a few choice words.
I think we ought to give Trump to the Kurds.
I for one would sigh with relief.
What a terrible Commander in Chief.

Trumpy Trumpster
He's Putin's man.
Sucks Putin's dick
Like no one can.
Putin calls out "Bozhe ty moy!"
I just love my American toy!

RawDog Doggerel in Process with Music

I wrote this because Chatty asked me to. Kentucky Derby Theme. These verses are a work in progress and I will add to them as my Muse allows.

chatty Cherry The Tart • wow, my hubby and I are trying to get a Kentucky Derby boycott going, our first idea was Bye Bye Derby to the tune of bye by birdie, any ideas. I think if the derby was boycotted by enough people, everyone suffers in Kentucky and it will all be Moscow Mitchs fault and his own Kentuckians will vote him the hell out.

chatty Cherry The Tart •
The hub is pretty good too, between us we can come up with a verse or 2. Like get Grim Reaper in like BY BY DERBY, the Grim Repear has to go, maybe a line of him and Toyko Rose (Elaine I know she Chinese. Also we have to get Rand in there somehow. Hub creating hashtag plus a statement on why we're doing it. Thanks Cherry the Tart (love it)

I provide the Songs whose meter I have appropriated. RawDogs like me claim traditional right to be political, vicious and rhythmic only. Well behaved? Good luck. I do not think PP&M will mind. They were Social Justice Warriors.

Super Bowl swaps single-use plastic for aluminum cups at concession stands BY MORGAN GSTALTER

Rhyme scheme of Stewball. Come on RawDogs. Help us out.

Randy Pall is a Senator.

I am sorry he's mine.
He wants my healthcare.
So he can drink wine.

Moscow Mitch is his Buddy.
Sits on his high horse.
Hangs out with them Russians.
The aluminum of course.

Maybe this. But it is awkward. Rhyme scheme and meter of Who Let the Dogs Out is intricate. So one has to nip and tuck.

When the party was nice, the party was bumpin’
Yippie, Yi, Yo
Randy Pall was havin’ a ball.
Hey Yippie, Yi, Yo
Whistleblower came and chapped his dupa.
Now Randy he tattling all over the Mall.

Refrain: Who let the dogs out?
Woof Woof Woof Woof etc.

The President is Very Angry.

I hear that the President is very angry, or, let me be precise: I hear that he is truly bouncing off the walls. - Michael Wolff

Donald Trump has unleashed a stream of furious outbursts over the whistbleblower revelations, just days after House speaker Nancy Pelosi announced an official impeachment inquiry that some believe could yield results as soon as October.

Okay. I have a bit of doggerel for every occasion. I only have one verse. I need more. I will try to add more as the day progresses. But this is a good start. Y'all can help in the comments if you care to do so.

Some hours later...

To the rhythm of This Land Is Your Land.

Bouncing Cheeto
Is having a shit fit.
Get Melania
To give him some tit tit.

I am feeling desperate
Cuz DC is a cesspit.
And Donald Trump
Is such a lackwit.

We can leave town
While he has his ho' down.
Let's use the Prius
So they will not see us.

We need to dump Trump
The swollen fecal lump.
Then we will be free.
Enjoy sweet liberty.

Refrain: Freedom is good for you and me.

Hat tip to Dan Grevy for the desperate rhyme and Claude Jacques Bonhomme for the cesspit rhyme respectively.

.

Ode to Stormy Daniels and Sign of the Month - UPDATE

As Congress prepares to return from recess, House Dems explore three roads to impeachment, one of which includes Stormy Daniels. Dems are preparing a new probe of Trump’s illegal hush money payments, exploring whether or not they are impeachable.

Pu^^y Grabs Back 
by M. de Angelis

I love you, Stormy.
Oh yes, I do-ooh.

I love you, Stormy. 

Because you sue-ooh. 

I believe you, I do. 

Oh Stormy, I love you.

Trump Hoe or Ode to the Deal

Rentboy, rentboy, outta’ sight!
How much do you cost a night?
Snort some candy up your nose?
Put your tongue-tip on my rose!

Rentboy, rentboy, you’re so sweet!
Come and do me when I tweet
Do me when I come to town
In and out and upside-down!

Rentboy, rentboy, doing time.
You cannot have this vote of mine.

TRUMP AND PUTIN: A LOVE STORY
The attraction is mutual, but history shows who’s really using whom.
By David Remnick

Read more...

Nick the Feminist Speaks Ex Cathedra

There was a band of GOP whiners
Could not keep their hands off vaginas.
First they tried to de-school them,
Then regulate and rule 'em,
Leaving women with less rights than most minors. 

- Nick Vanocur
sitting at his favorite table in the back