Mormons Are Dangerous - Real Philadelphia #3

I live in a Philly Rowhouse. My door opens right onto the street. I am hanging out at home one day minding my own business.  I hear Knock Knock on the door. I quick open it.

Standing there are two young guys who look like Tarantino Hit Men. As I was about to draw my sword in defense, I saw little name tags. It is Elders Keith and Kevin. I said "Yo guys. Where's the other K?"

Elder Keith said "We have come to share some scripture with you, Ma'am." I said "Sure. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." And the scripture throwdown was on. They quoted shit at me; I quoted shit at them; they quoted shit at me...and then, I had an Epiphany.

Elders Keith and Kevin started to look a little sweaty to me. I had a moment of intense self consciousness. I realized I was standing in my doorway in my pajamas, hair uncombed, no bra, doobie in hand at 3:30 in the afternoon. And what was going on for Elders Keith and Kevin was "Oh boy. We have only been in Philly one week and we have met our first real drug addict." I resent that. I am a writer. Context is everything.

I was so upset by the Mormon invasion that friends from St. Philomena's decided I was in dire need of crisis counseling. We went to the Toilet Bar in Frankford. I got so drunk I was treading the fine line between ecstasy and puking. So one of the Ushers took me out into the alley and rolled me a doob. I was able to avoid puking, mellow out and explain myself. Timothy is such a thoughtful young man.

It is not that I do not like Mormons. I understand the spiritual impulse. I have read The Varieties of Religious Experience. I hang out with Quakers and they are really peculiar. I have even been known to drop acid and consult the Lawn Gnomes.

No. It is not that I don't like Mormons. No. This is what bothers me. I am a mental health consumer, occasionally medicated for public safety. I still think Mitt Romney SuperMormon is coming to get me. I know Mitt Romney thinks the same.

Vietnam Vet Gives Romney and the Rest of Us a Lesson in Civility and Reality

Mitt Romney is running for office again. This time running for Senator for Utah. 

What is there to say? Rmoney is an Asshat. Man is so damn awkward he makes me itch when I see him. Do you think Rmoney gets a facial every day? I would love to know who does his hair. 

Caption and Photo Fun and You Can Do It Yourself

Thank you kbman for the template. Get it for your endeavors at the link or below these posters:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/10/17/1146048/--Angry-Mitt-Photoshop-template

Here is the template and you can go to the link below to add your own captions. You can use any photo of your choice. Have fun! Do not forget to donate $5.00 to the website if you can.:

http://wigflip.com/roflbot/

Mitt Romney Advertises on My Blog with Update

I give space to Adsense for Content which makes me a few bucks. Adsense has blog crawlers (creepy ain't it?) that relate ads to the content of your pages. That is why you will see Meet Latina Women! ads on here occasionally when I talk about SEX. I hate them goddamn dating ads.

I despise Mitt Romney the Lying Liar with a purple passion. His campaign advertises here anyway. Why, I ask myself? Because I talk politics? Rmoney has money to burn? Because his campaign staff is stupid? Because Rmoney has so much contempt for me that he would casually lie to me and on the pages of my cherished Blog? Who knows? Who cares? Paybacks are a bitch. 

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/10/09/1141981/-Hey-Mitt-Here-s-A-Dose-Of-Truth-Can-You-Handle-It

Update: I tweeted this blog entry at Mittens. 

Shhhh, do not make a sound. I think he is gone now. 

Wonderful Political Cartoons

The artist is John Darkow. I found this website that publishes and sells political cartoons. I have signed up. Link below:

http://www.cagle.com/2012/09/mitt-antoinette/

Four More Years

WHEREFORE ART THOU, MITT ROMNEY?
By Ralph Maxwell

O, Romney-O, Romney-O, Wherefore art thou, Mitt Romney?
You flip-flop here, you flip-flop there,
You flip-flop almost ev'rywhere.
You ballyhoo what you're gonna do
And then you pull a switcheroo;
You now malign what you found fine;
Seems like you've got a jellyfish spine.
Obamacare, by you begun,
Now you'd trash it on day one.
Gun control you did extol,
But now you're preaching decontrol.

 
O, Romney-O, Romney-O, Wherefore art thou, Mitt Romney?
We've got no clue what you will do
Or what new view you'll pander to.
Time was you championed women's choice,
But you no longer heed their voice;
On gay rights, too, guess you withdrew
Support they once enjoyed from you.
Global warming, EPA,
Immigration, minimum pay,
Roe V. Wade, also fair trade,
All joined your flip-flop cavalcade.

 
O, Romney-O, Romney-O Wherefore art thou, Mitt Romney?
So many things that you were for
You've turned against and slammed the door.
Stimulus and cap and trade,
Education, foreign aid,
Campaign reform, tarp rescues, too,
All victims of your switcheroo.
You take your stand on shifting sand,
We never know where you will land;
You vacillate, you fabricate,
A wishy-washy candidate.

 
O, Romney-O, Romney-O, Wherefore art thou Mitt Romney?
As gov'nor you let taxes rise,
Now ev'ry tax you demonize.
You say regardless of the facts
You'd take an axe to the millionaire's tax;
You'd feed the greed of the richest few
The poor and middle class you'd screw.
Your tax returns you hide from view
What evil lurks there we've no clue;
If they're not bad why hesitate?
Is it that they incriminate?

 
O, Romney-O, Romney-O, Wherefore art thou Mitt Romney?
At Bain you plundered with a flair
And walked away a zillionaire.
You shipped off-shore, good jobs galore
To China, India, Singapore;
A job creator you are not.
And to boast you are is tommyrot.
As a total fraud, Mitt's got no peer;
What we must do is crystal clear:
Let's give Obama four more years!
Yes, it's Obama – four more years!
FOUR MORE YEARS!
FOUR MORE YEARS!
FOUR MORE YEARS!