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Sunday, July 15, 2018

Donald is the The Shyte - Magic Google Finger

Use a picture. It's worth a thousand words.
Arthur Brisbane

I am feeling angry today. I need to find something to do instead of pop bubble wrap. So PLUNK! my MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER (TRUMP SHIT).

Man is the Great Ape. Some Apes fling POO.

I always make attribution of the Artist's work if I can find it.  Often the creator is Anon Y. Mous. Always sign your work, Artists. Always.


I'm nobody! Who are you?

Graphic by Buddy McCue.

"I'm Nobody!" is one of Emily Dickinson’s most popular poems, Harold Bloom writes, because it addresses “a universal feeling of being on the outside." It is a poem about "us against them"; it challenges authority (the somebodies), and "seduces the reader into complicity with its writer."
I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.
How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!
I am nobody. I am beyond dismayed that FEGOV under Republicans is planning to kill me. I am crippled and old now. And I worked and paid into Social Security and Medicare most of my working life. I have done everything to make a buck: whore, cook, dance, set type, sell stuff, secretary. I was a Community Artist. I taught inner city children about Art and rarely got paid. I got grants from NEA and others. I raised three children alone, all good citizens gainfully employed.

I saw Meghan McCain chastise Keith Olberman for being full of 'damaging rhetoric' on the View. McCain and Whoopi Goldberg are concerned about division and rancor in American politics. Keith Olberman speaks to my condition. See clip below.

I am just sitting here typing and shaking my head. How is it I am expected to be a cooperative citizen, think nothing but good cooperative thoughts, and say calm creative things among the body politic? FEDGOV is working to kill me.

My Mother died recently at age 98. That means I may have 20 more years of life ahead. Why do Republicans dedicate themselves to destroying FEDGOV's commitment to Americans? Why do they want to return old women to the desperate poverty that we experienced before the New Deal?

HEY RICH BITCHES (yes I mean you Whoopi) I HATE AND FEAR THE FOLKS WHO ARE TRYING TO KILL ME! Can you hear me now? I am not going to KEEP SWEET. Civility my sweet petunia.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Nick the Feminist Speaks Ex Cathedra

There was a band of GOP whiners
Could not keep their hands off vaginas.
First they tried to de-school them,
Then regulate and rule 'em,
Leaving women with less rights than most minors. 

- Nick Vanocur
sitting at his favorite table in the back


The Republican party is full of pastorticians. Bleating about how much you love Jesus and how much Jesus you'll shove up everyone's asses is a requirement for anyone who wants to be elected to office as a Republican. - Margaret Whitestone

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

I Troll the Internet

I am retired. I have nothing and no one to do. Why do I troll? Because I can. 

I hang out on the message boards.  Lots of evangelical Christians comment there. They have great screen names like LordJesusYourGod and HeHasRisen752. Some of them are Fruit Loops. And then, there is Marilyn.

Marilyn's message is that oral and anal sex are The Original Sin of Adam. Marilyn quoted the Bible and used the word "fornicate" 6 times. I love the word fornicate. It is so euphonious. Say it loud. Say it proud. So I fired back with A Little Ditty for Marilyn:

Fornicate! Fornicate!
Who gave us this sex so great?
It's God.

As I do the in and out,
I have oft been known to shout:
Oh God.

A couple of hours later, when they let Marilyn use the computer in the day room again, she left me another message with more Bible quotes and the word fornication in all CAPITALS and boldface. So I broke out in song again:

I am still under your spell.
And if I could speak,
What an erotic tale I could tell.
Of a screw that I have not forgotten,
Of a screw that keeps the silent magic in FORNICATION for me.

I went to get a cup of coffee, came back to the computer, and there was another message from Marilyn. More Bible quotes. And this time the word fornication was in all CAPITALS, bold, italic and bright red. So I wrote back:

It was fornication, I know.
That was what was making my HooHoo glow.
It was up and down.
It was front and back,
I felt my legs go slackety slack, Dear. 

I thought it was just some mishap,
When his wife found her way to my shack.
Oops, a big fat gun!
Damn, I had to run!
I escaped out the backety back, Dear.

The wage of Trolling is guilt. Marilyn never wrote me again. I am so going to Hell.