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Sunday, October 13, 2019

Diwali Dog

Nepalis know how loyal man's best friend can be and celebrate canine companions in an annual festival called Kukur Tihar. Meet Moti. What a beautiful being.


Diwali 2019 Date in India: This year, the festival of lights falls on October 27.

Kukur Tihar or Kukur Puja literally means the worship of dogs. This is a mini-festival within a larger Hindu celebration of Diwali, the festival of lights. 

According to Nepalese tradition, one of the festive days is dedicated to the human's most devoted friend and guardian. In Hindu religion, a dog is a sacred animal, intended to have a special bond with a human, so as to accompany us on our way to heaven.


PORK!

It is too serious around here. Past time for some Filth and Dirt. Filth & Dirt is a whole category here.

Speaking of swine, I take this opportunity to say we need to regularly and randomly drug test Congress. Start with Steve Cantaloupe Calves King. But I digress.

“Squeal” is the name of the campaign ad Joni Ernst ran during the Iowa GOP primary. Ernst said learning how to castrate hogs made her qualified to cut pork (as in federal spending) in Washington.

Fukum says "Joni Ernst is Michele Bachmann with pig testicles." Wrong. Only if she has the testicles in her pocket. 

I have it on good authority that this photograph on the left is a Joni Ernst selfie. Gives new meaning to the verb to pork.

Of course, I am lying. But why should FUX Snooze and Ernst have all the fun?

DESPITE CAMPAIGNING ON PORK-CUTTING FAMILY LIVING “WITHIN OUR MEANS,” SEN. ERNST’S KIN TOOK OVER $460,000 IN FARM SUBSIDIES

Joni Ernst's teeth make me nervous and I am not even male. I am going to stock up on popcorn and beer. I think this woman is a hoot.

This is a Cagle Post cartoon by Taylor Jones. Cagle Post could use some support from lovers of editorial cartoons. They are under political cyberattack. Contribute a little as a buck a month and enjoy guilt free superior cartoon pleasure. See the cartoonist talking about his work in the video below.



Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Gender Confusion

If you read Leviticus, you come to understand that the tribe of Levi were a sexy bunch. The Levite rules about what one is not supposed to do in a tent, tell us what they were doing in the tent. Auntie Diddlers, evil Father Rapers (apology to Arlo).

Modern life has become a bit more complicated thanks to Science. I am experiencing gender confusion. Think of the flavors available: Celibate, PolyAmorous, Asexual, Lesbian, Gay, BiSexual, Homosexual, TransGender, Intersex, Queer.

I have been all these things (at one time or another) whenever a situation seemed to require it. You do enough of that and eventually all orifices begin to look alike. Talk about confusion.

Even the protuberances become mere supporting structures guiding one into the pink, undulating, lubricious, steaming center of the Pile. Anybody remember Plato's Retreat? The place gave new meaning to the mob phrase "going to the mattresses." But I digress.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a member of a hitherto unsung sexual minority: the Polymorphous Perverse. Thank you, Sigmund Freud and Merriam Webster, for clearing it all up for me.


"adj.
Characterized by or displaying sexual tendencies that have no specific direction, as in an infant or young child, but that may evolve into acts that are regarded as perversions in adults; 
and:
Relating to or exhibiting infantile sexual tendencies in which the genitals are not yet identified as the sole or principal sexual organs nor coitus as the goal of erotic activity."

I blame some of my confusion and frenetic activity on the Menopause. When the estrogen went ByeBye, I was swept away by a tidal wave of testosterone. Progesterone? I grew a faint mustache. I have never looked back.

Human sexual variation is a fact of life; it is not an opinion, a sin, or a choice. I am so fricking old that I remember the Sixties. I was there. If it feels good, do It, we said. Safely. I had to add that thought in the 80s.

And then somebody will find a name for It, ban It, write a book about It, make a video of It, develop a program for swearing off Ior a pill to make the sensations more exquisite. Ah, modern life. I am not sure how I feel about it.