Sunday, October 13, 2019

PORK!

It is too serious around here. Past time for some Filth and Dirt. Filth & Dirt is a whole category here.

Speaking of swine, I take this opportunity to say we need to regularly and randomly drug test Congress. Start with Steve Cantaloupe Calves King. But I digress.

“Squeal” is the name of the campaign ad Joni Ernst ran during the Iowa GOP primary. Ernst said learning how to castrate hogs made her qualified to cut pork (as in federal spending) in Washington.

Fukum says "Joni Ernst is Michele Bachmann with pig testicles." Wrong. Only if she has the testicles in her pocket. 

I have it on good authority that this photograph on the left is a Joni Ernst selfie. Gives new meaning to the verb to pork.

Of course, I am lying. But why should FUX Snooze and Ernst have all the fun?

DESPITE CAMPAIGNING ON PORK-CUTTING FAMILY LIVING “WITHIN OUR MEANS,” SEN. ERNST’S KIN TOOK OVER $460,000 IN FARM SUBSIDIES

Joni Ernst's teeth make me nervous and I am not even male. I am going to stock up on popcorn and beer. I think this woman is a hoot.

This is a Cagle Post cartoon by Taylor Jones. Cagle Post could use some support from lovers of editorial cartoons. They are under political cyberattack. Contribute a little as a buck a month and enjoy guilt free superior cartoon pleasure. See the cartoonist talking about his work in the video below.



Sunday, September 29, 2019

Smutty Smut - Asshats on Parade

Utah is the state that consumes the most pornography.

This post has musical accompaniment below.
The sponsor of a recently passed Utah resolution declaring that “pornography is creating a public health crisis” appeared on the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” program yesterday to defend the measure, which the governor signed on Tuesday, and allege that the availability of pornography is violating his “First Amendment right to not view it.” - See more...
Dude, stay away from the computer. Or put out your eyes. Problem solved. 
And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. Matthew 18:9


Friday, September 27, 2019

The President is Very Angry.

I hear that the President is very angry, or, let me be precise: I hear that he is truly bouncing off the walls. - Michael Wolff
Donald Trump has unleashed a stream of furious outbursts over the whistbleblower revelations, just days after House speaker Nancy Pelosi announced an official impeachment inquiry that some believe could yield results as soon as October.
Okay. I have a bit of doggerel for every occasion. I only have one verse. I need more. I will try to add more as the day progresses. But this is a good start. Y'all can help in the comments if you care to do so.

Some hours later...

To the rhythm of This Land Is Your Land.

Bouncing Cheeto
Is having a shit fit.
Get Melania
To give him some tit tit.

I am feeling desperate
Cuz DC is a cesspit.
And Donald Trump
Is such a lackwit.

We can leave town
While he has his ho' down.
Let's use the Prius
So they will not see us.

We need to dump Trump
The swollen fecal lump.
Then we will be free.
Enjoy sweet liberty.

Refrain: Freedom is good for you and me.

Hat tip to Dan Grevy for the desperate rhyme and Claude Jacques Bonhomme for the cesspit rhyme respectively.



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