Chickens

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some celebrated answers.

ROB FORD: That video of me snorting that chicken does not exist and I’ve only crossed that road in a drunken stupor.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! Real change! Change he could believe in!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was Secretary of State, I travelled that road thousands of times and I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road each time. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

ебать себе Путина

Putin wins a Fickle Finger of Doom!

I am here and I am queer.

QUEER
Originaly meant strange or odd. Now stands for anyone who is sexualy different but may or may not mean gay. Queer covers any type of gender or sexual attitudes that are outside of the mainstream of one man one woman monogamy. You can be Queer and still have a heterosexual orientation if you have unusual sexual or gender identites, philosophies or habits.

Queer covers all that includes: 
Lesbian/Bi-sexual/GayTransgender/BDSM/ 
Chubby-chaser/Poly-amory ect...ect... - by Ki

 

Fetus Freaks and Gun Nuts Stalk Little Girls for Clicks and Giggles

CLICK ME !

You think this is going to be satire, right? Wrong.

A conservative group is pushing Cookie Cott 2014. They have a fancy logo and everything:

What is the Girl Scout's crime that engendered the cookie boycott? Here is a list of crimes and a policy statement they are working with:

MISSOURI RIGHT TO LIFE POLICY STATEMENT
GIRL SCOUTS USA
Because Girl Scouts USA promotes, both directly and indirectly through other organizations, policies and behaviors clearly contradictory to the goals and purposes of Missouri Right to Life, Missouri Right to Life urges citizens to consider carefully whether to participate in Girl Scouts or support them in any way.

Now if you think "stalk" is too strong, you want to read THIS: 

For four consecutive Saturdays, protesters have come to Teabearies, which hosts parties for girls ages 3 to 12, carrying graphic pictures and placards reading, "Teabearies supports baby killers."

The connection? In addition to running Teabearies, a children's birthday party place in this southern Illinois town 40 miles east of St. Louis, Dudek runs the front desk and serves as an administrative assistant at Hope Clinic for Women in nearby Granite City, which performs abortions.

 "They were intimidating young girls with graphic posters of aborted fetuses and statements of murder, and they were utilizing the intimidation of these girls as a way to coerce the owner to quit her job at the clinic," said Mark Levy, Dudek's lawyer. 

During the hearing, one mother tearfully described taking her 7-year-old daughter for a birthday party at Teabearies on Jan. 19, when, according to Dudek, 17 protesters showed up and shouted at arriving tearoom customers. 

Gail Pickett of Highland had adopted the little girl last year; this was her first birthday party with her adoptive family. "She was scared; the pictures scared her," Pickett said. "And we had to usher her through the back door to her own birthday party." Pickett, a Girl Scout leader, said she has canceled her plans to take some scouts to Teabearies, where they can earn a badge on manners. "I cannot subject my Girl Scouts to this kind of thing," she said.

What this viral photograph proves to me is this: If gun nuts are stupid enough to think this is good publicity, they are too stupid to own guns. The lady gun nut in the photo and Fox News says it is all a misunderstanding. Her name is Kathy Perkins. Here is her organizations's facebook page. 

Look at the reflections in the windows of the other gun nuts standing guard in case the Girl Scouts get jiggly.

Like they say at JuanitaJean's: 

So the way I figure it, we liberals are under a sacred obligation to buy some Girl Scout Cookies! Oh hell, go wild, buy three or twenty boxes. Use them to feed your campaign block walkers at your local Democratic headquarters.

Find when and where you can buy Girl Scout Cookies in your neighborhood HERE.

Asshats on Parade - Shhh. Do not interrupt this man.

The men of the Republican party believe that women and women alone are to be held responsible for the fact that humans have sex. Why else would they be coming for our birth control?

Republicans lost women by 10 points last election nationally. Next election it will be by 20 points. Women have not forgotten: The Republican Rape Advisory Chart.

The irony is that Huckabee was for no copay contraception before he was against it.

Uncle Sugar, Huckabee? Nothing like having a preacher suggesting women are whores. Better than Mourdock's "God wills rape pregnancy" for getting those votes. Glory Hallellujah.

Oh proceed, please proceed in this vein, SuckABee. I wanting you to do it. I am waiting for you to do it. I am so willing for you to do it.