Help. I am Manic. I had to take an ativan.

I absolutely hate feeling this way. I can remember dancing for hours and hours to dance it away. Dance until you drop.

I had a newspaper columnist lover who wrote at home. He had a wooden floor and original 78s of folks like Nat King Cole. He would lend me his spare room and I would dance for hours. I miss him.

I ran my second husband over with a Volkswagen feeling this way. Hubby saw the look on my face and his face turned white. I floored it. He knew there was no way to outrun me and he looked around frantically for a savior. He saw a small wide ditch and dived for it. My wheels ran right the fuck over him. By the time I got ready for the second pass, he had made it to the house.

God saved me. Always had a soft spot for God after that. My child did not need to have a Mother in jail. Hubby stayed with me another 10 years. I often wonder who exactly was the crazy one? The whole thing was so sad.

So, all I have to say is, talk me down, Friends. I am lonesome, horny, maudlin and dangerous. Okay, Ativan kicking in. I will be napping in blessed peace and not stabbing anyone. Good thing. Be back later.

Dead Comedians Sunday #2 - I will take France...ahem...Ukraine.

Time for some attitude adjustment. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

"I drank myself a thousand bottles of vodka. I celebrated night after night. They beat the crap out of me. I am now the Putin."

Rest in laughter, Jon and Milton.

Mort Sahl is still with us and going strong. See Milty give him a comedy lesson below.

This election is making me crazed. How you doing?

The physicians at Penn are some of the best in the world. My psychiatrist is a Penn guy and just as smart as he can be. He has a silver white beard and he looks like a Jewish Santa Claus. He is funny and it feels good to just be around him. I mention his appearance because he said something interesting. "I believe in the old saying," he said "that after 50, one gets the face one deserves."

I rest his case. I tried hard to find one where Trump was not grimacing. Speaking as an actor, I wonder if Trump practices his expressions and head angles in a mirror, but I digress:

Top of Trump

Bottom of Trump

The Alternative. I tried to get one with neutral expression and wrinkles not air brushed away.

Hillz bottom.

No contest for me. What, Cher Reader, do you think? I know, the whole thing is ridiculous, right? At this point, nothing seems too ridiculous in light of what we have seen. Maybe Santa Claus is right. Here is how one artist sees it on Freaking News below.

I say: Let the debates begin! Some people say Trump is going to chicken out. This is the best election ever. Thank you, Santa, for my Ativan. My Russian readership just tripled. Any of my Russian readers want to tell me why? Can somebody translate what is on his cap?

Hillz is here to save the day! Commonsense is on the way!

Video illustrates one of the reasons I am voting for Hillary Rodham Clinton for POTUS. Go Hillz! Balls of steel.

Chris Smith is a lowdown liar sexpig and the truth is not in him.

Hemorrhage and sepsis in childbirth and illegal abortion are the three leading causes of maternal death worldwide. Abortion and contraception, indeed a full spectrum of reproductive health care, are human rights.

Legislatures must not practice medicine. Trump says women must be punished for having an abortion. We will go back to that standard of reproductive healthcare over his dead body. Figuratively speaking of course. Fuck you, NSA.