Sunday, February 23, 2014

Asshats on Parade - "Putin Will Teach You How to Love" Edition

This is the first AssHat Award that is international as opposed to national. The USA does not have a monopoly on exceptional Assholes. 

Cossack militia attacked the Pussy Riot punk group with horsewhips on Wednesday as the group staged an impromptu performance under a sign advertising the Sochi Olympics.

Six group members — five women and one man — donned their signature ski masks and were pulling out a guitar and microphone when at least 10 Cossacks and other security officials moved in.

These brave Folks turned your beating into Art so good I know about it in the USA. It is a small world, Putski.

We are laughing at you, Pussywhipped Putin. 
Laughter is mightier than the pen and the bullwhip. 



Monday, February 17, 2014

I Need Attitude Adjustment this Morning

 In the depths of winter, I finally learned that 
within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus  




Monday, February 10, 2014

Signs of the Month - February 2014


When you're knocked on your back - an' your life's a flop and when you're down on the bottom there's nothing else but to shout to the top - shout! - The Style Council 
The signs from Moral Mondays tell us what Americans are concerned about and what Americans support. Moral Mondays has expanded from North Carolina to Georgia. I hope to see Moral Mondays come to Pennsylvania. One and done, Corbett.







Sunday, February 9, 2014

Chickens

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some celebrated answers.
ROB FORD: That video of me snorting that chicken does not exist and I’ve only crossed that road in a drunken stupor.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! Real change! Change he could believe in!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was Secretary of State, I travelled that road thousands of times and I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road each time. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?