Sign of the Month - March 2014

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver. - Burma Shave and Polite Kool Marxist

This sign comes from graphic artist John A. Kwitkoski via Juanita Jean's - The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Parlor, a funny source for Texas politics from a Democratic point of view. I had to steal it because it is too fricking good. 

I was going to give you one of Pastor Doctor James David Manning's signs but this Obama Zombie turned up in the search. I love it. I had to share it. You can see it in detail by clicking the magazine's link below.

Nathaniel Page. “They Vote To Suck Your Blood.” LA City Beat 

SexPig Terrorist Who Supports Forced Birthers

Today's sexpig is Zachary Jordan Klundt. I cannot find any information that he is guilty of explicitly sexual crimes yet. He just hates women, pregnant or otherwise.

Mr. Klundt is charged with arson, theft, and vandalism, which is the pervert trifecta. He is a white supremacist with a gun too. Several guns.

One account of the vandalism said there was a "powdery yellow substance" all over everything." Maybe it was pollen? Maybe his Momma never had "the talk" with him and he is just an excitable boy? You think he got a woody when he was destroying all the Art?

Mr. Klundt took documents and files. Mr. Klundt and his "prolife" buddies could be coming after you or your cousin Flora to replay a 21st Century version of The Scarlet Letter. Just contemplate that for a moment.

I promised myself I would not make fun of his name. I will not make fun of his name. Unacceptable. I will just make fun of his Mother's name, which is Twyla Klundt.

Mrs. Twyla Klundt runs the crisis pregnancy center mentioned below. I like it as Twatwaffle Kundt. Be a great name for a graphic novel. I hope this oaf's white supremacist buddies do not come after me. Be a shame to die for a Twat Joke.

Suspect In Montana Clinic Vandalism May Be Linked To Controversial ‘Crisis Pregnancy’ Center

By David Neiwert

The clinic, All Families Healthcare, was vandalized overnight Monday when one or more perpetrators broke glass and equipment throughout the office. Zachary Klundt, a 24-year-old Kalispell resident, was arrested while breaking into another building early Tuesday morning, and was promptly linked to the clinic burglary because of evidence he was carrying.

Culture Cakes

Judson Phillips of Tea Party Nation is raising a hue and cry for freedom.

Phillips is dismayed that Governor Jan Brewer vetoed SB1062 in Arizona. You know, The Gay Bill. He fears the end of it all will be slavery and the Penis Cake. And the Orgy.

The crusade is diverse. The Phillips crusade is not just about Christians. He wants to protect Muslim caterers from pork. I would make a pork joke here but it is too easy.

"Should a devout baker be required to create a cake for a homosexual wedding that has a giant phallic symbol on it or should a baker be required to create pastries for a homosexual wedding in the shape of genitalia? Or should a photographer be required to photograph a homosexual wedding where the participants decide they want to be nude or engage in sexual behavior?" 

I thought this Phillips person was full of feverish fantasy and a little over the top. I thought I would check it out. I googled Penis Cake. ZOMG! I need to get out more.

You can get a Penis Cake for most any occasion. Penis Wedding Cake anyone? 








Penis Cupcakes? 
Or Penis Bread?

I can see how this situation might create anxiety. Gives a whole new meaning to "Let them eat cake." Or "the staff of life."

If Judson Phillips becomes entirely too anxious, he can always soothe himself by learning how to bake a Booby Cake. Boobs are soothing. Nom nom. 

Or Judson Phillips could just stop thinking about that icky homosexual sex. Or take a damn Xanax and keep his fevered dreams to himself. When did minding your own business go out of fashion as an American value? When did humiliating customers because Jebus come in?

Asshats on Parade - "Putin Will Teach You How to Love" Edition

This is the first AssHat Award that is international as opposed to national. The USA does not have a monopoly on exceptional Assholes. 

Cossack militia attacked the Pussy Riot punk group with horsewhips on Wednesday as the group staged an impromptu performance under a sign advertising the Sochi Olympics.

Six group members — five women and one man — donned their signature ski masks and were pulling out a guitar and microphone when at least 10 Cossacks and other security officials moved in.

These brave Folks turned your beating into Art so good I know about it in the USA. It is a small world, Putski.

We are laughing at you, Pussywhipped Putin. 

Laughter is mightier than the pen and the bullwhip. 

I Need Attitude Adjustment this Morning

 In the depths of winter, I finally learned that 

within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus  

Signs of the Month - February 2014

When you're knocked on your back - an' your life's a flop and when you're down on the bottom there's nothing else but to shout to the top - shout! - The Style Council 

The signs from Moral Mondays tell us what Americans are concerned about and what Americans support. Moral Mondays has expanded from North Carolina to Georgia. I hope to see Moral Mondays come to Pennsylvania. One and done, Corbett.

Chickens

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some celebrated answers.

ROB FORD: That video of me snorting that chicken does not exist and I’ve only crossed that road in a drunken stupor.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! Real change! Change he could believe in!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was Secretary of State, I travelled that road thousands of times and I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road each time. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

ебать себе Путина

Putin wins a Fickle Finger of Doom!

I am here and I am queer.

QUEER
Originaly meant strange or odd. Now stands for anyone who is sexualy different but may or may not mean gay. Queer covers any type of gender or sexual attitudes that are outside of the mainstream of one man one woman monogamy. You can be Queer and still have a heterosexual orientation if you have unusual sexual or gender identites, philosophies or habits.

Queer covers all that includes: 
Lesbian/Bi-sexual/GayTransgender/BDSM/ 
Chubby-chaser/Poly-amory ect...ect... - by Ki