Sunday, April 29, 2018

Honeybees in Trouble

Honey Bee Suite
I have a small garden in my Philadelphia backyard. I grow a few peppers, herbs, tomatoes, flowers. I have been very sad because the Bees seem to have gone away.

We need Bees, so go here for some pet Bees if you like them. Most of the really good stuff we eat needs pollination by bees. No bees means less food.


On Sunday, I saw my very first Bee of the Summer. I was out in the garden, poking around in the Dill without my glasses. I was glad to learn that my eyes still work and I am not crazy. I saw a Bee. The Bees are coming back.


Bees are smart. They know who is growing those flowers. I have been given, while gardening, an affectionate bee nudge more than once. The Bees are making a comeback in Illinois too.
Native bee species spotted for first time since ’90s
COURTESY OF WILL PETERMAN / COPYRIGHT 2013
 By Sandi Doughton 
Bee enthusiasts beat the bushes Sunday to see if the colony of rare insects is still active, and biologists are planning conservation efforts.
More information is available at www.xerces.org/bumblebees. If you would like to be involved in our citizen science project moving forward, you can sign up at www.bumblebeewatch.org.

If you think you have observed the western white tailed bumblebee, please send a photo and site information. Please note that we cannot verify sightings without a photo, so please include one with your email. 



Thursday, April 26, 2018

GRATITUDE

Thank you M. Keating for your generous donation. I am overwhelmed with delight and I do not know how to act. Does not happen all that often. Zippety Doo Dah! I will put the $ to good use. 


Elegy for Barbara Bush

Never speak ill of the dead,
there's stupidity in that ditty,
for we speak ill of
James Earl Ray and Lee Harvey Oswald
and Jeffrey Dahmer
and Hitler and Mussolini
and Stalin and murderers galore we vilify
and gloat that they are dead
but we are told we must be respectful of the dead
at least that it's not proper
to denigrate one until his/her body is cold
and the body is given time to molder
especially if the body is that of Barbara Bush
because she raised, in her lifetime,
a hundred million dollars for literacy and books
and she loved her brood of children
and she had a love affair with her man
for years uncounted
we must venerate her with our silence
for her life snuffed
but here's what I think about dear BB,
whose words often sounded like they were shot
out of a BB--

Too late,
the damage has been done,
blood courses in the Euphrates and the Tigris
civil wars most uncivil have been earned
and never will be won
as Bush the Younger BB's child
paints his domesticated dogs
the feral dogs of war he unleashed
run amok over the carnage
in the Middle East.
And remember Barbara Bush
it is who famously said after Katrina
that the Houston Astrodome
was an improvement over their homes
for the underprivileged displaced of Louisiana
and now we celebrate this rich and useless Pollyanna
because she's dead,
spare me the praises heaped, the "rest in peace"
and the tears shed.

Usha Nellore

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Sexuality Test

Young Ru Paul
Note: This is a scale created by a graduate student. It is not the be all and end all of judgements about your sexuality. I post it for fun. I will also post my results. If it is going to make you all anxious and/or indignant, do not take it. 

The Kinsey Scale is a concept developed by Alfred Kinsey in 1948. Instead of describing people as either homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual, Kinsey thought sexual orientation was really a scale from heterosexuality to homosexuality.

"While there was originally no test, it was just inferred from interviews, I have created a test that seems to have good predictive power."

Test and scoring of the test at the LINK. I am a 3.

Spanky Sparkles - MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER

Use a picture. It's worth a thousand words.
Arthur Brisbane
I troll the internet so you do not have to, Cher Reader. Enjoy.

I try to find attribution for every image I post. Often I cannot. Artists, sign your work.






Sunday, April 8, 2018

Keep Moving Your Weary Buns

So I typed this on Breitbart. No one laughed. 
"Leftists are evil. Their touch corrupts. Leftists will eat us if we let them. We need arms. We need faggots for the Faggots!"

I understand why satire is almost dead. No one is awake on the Cooter spectrum reality wise. What is a Cooter?

I needed a new word to describe Trumpians et al. AUTHORITARIAN is too long and FASCISTS is too too loaded. Troll is not sufficient because this species of Troll is a political creature. So some brilliant person uses COOTERS. I like it.

A Cooter is not Conservative by any stretch of the imagination. Team Sports RahRah attitude toward politics is killing us. And that seems to be all the Cooters have to express. Cooters are basic entities; all they do is sleep, eat, fight and fuck. Conversation is not possible.

Trump was elected by MomMom and PopPop and Putin. See them enjoying a Trumpian Rite of Supremacy and Afternoon Orgy. Dress: Casual. Cooters. My proof? See below. 
I am getting tired now. Worn out by the Obtuse. Wearied by the Weird. "Resist!" I tell myself. "Get your weary buns in motion. Once more unto the breach...etc."

Music to marchons by below from Blues virtuoso John Hurt.




Friday, March 23, 2018

Note to Ben and Candy Carson

"A word to the wise is enough, and many words won't fill a bushel." Benjamin Franklin
Congress and the Executive Branch must be randomly and regularly drug tested. Sauce for the Workingman must be sauce for the Suits. As Wifty Ben's employer, we have a right and duty to insist on sobriety as a job requirement.

BEN: You high Dude. You high as fuck. Dude, you so fucking high I doubt you can fuck. So high you cannot keep your eyes open. High dee high de Ho.

CANDY: How can you allow your husband to go on TV high as a kite? We see him. He is so high he can hardly function. For God's sake and his GO TO AL ANON. Do you care for him or respect him at all? I think not. Takes dedicated drug use to get so sick. Ben has deteriorated. Begun to slur his words. BTDT. Got the Tshirt and wore it out.



Tuesday, March 20, 2018

First Day of Spring 2018

“If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”
Percy Bysshe Shelley, Ode to the West Wind
Today is the official First Day of Spring. The United Nations declared this is official International Happiness Day.

Humbug! We have a 24 hour Winter Storm Warning In Philadelphia today. Happy Spring all the same. I am planning my garden. It must be Spring.

Jeffrey Koterba is the cartoonist. His blog is HERE.




Monday, March 19, 2018

Ethics. I think I am writing about Ethics. Maybe.

I have been saying that I reject the 'team spirit' form of politics. What the fuck am I talking about? I do not know for sure. I am on to something or other. 

I suspect that Folks protesting Trump et al are Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Greens etc. all together. Americans indivisible. 

I see myself being angry and mean to Trumpanzees (see there I go) and I do not like my act. And let me tell you, I am real good at angry, mean and arrogant. And I enjoy it. Every day I send some mean twitter thing to PEEOTUS.


So this Michael Boyle guy I quote below speaks to my condition. I mean, is this meanness helpful now that a mighty crunch is upon us? I am full of doubt. Who are the fucking good guys? Kucinich is saying the Intelligence Community are running a coup and leading us into war. 
"The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity." - William Butler Yeats


Quote. Read more at the link.

Human beings have a natural tendency (and, if you want to call it an "original sin," I'm not going to stop you) to become the very thing that they seek to resist. Everyone who seeks to be active in the Age of Trump will be forced into situations where they will have to decide between speaking out against bigotry and exclusion among their own "team" and staying silent for the good of that team. Being a person of integrity and cultivating those instincts and habits will serve all of us well when that day comes. And it will come.

I am not a powerful person. I am not rich, nor influential in any significant manner. I cannot unilaterally change the way the world around me runs, and I certainly cannot change what people think and say and believe. All I can do is live with integrity, and use that integrity as a platform for living the rest of my life. This living with integrity may not change anything, it may not sway anyone to my way of thinking (or any way of thinking). But it is all I have, and it is what I am committed to do.


Sunday, March 4, 2018

Chicken Trump - Владимир Путин любит твой член в его заднице. - Magic Google Finger

The title above is the best response yet to Russopublican disINFObots on social media. Use your translator.

No Russian sanctions enforced yet? PLUNK MY MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER (CHICKEN TRUMP). Cluck!

Chicken Yellow

Designer Chicken

Mad Chicken

Plucked Chicken

General Tso's Chicken

Monday, February 19, 2018

HaPenis is a Warm Gun

I wrote this vile snarky article about guns. Because the article and guns are getting renewed attention, I thought I would double down. I like attention

I utilized my MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER again. I googled PENIS GUN. The results range from the literal through the cartoon to the sublime as usual. 

I hope you, Cher Reader, appreciate what I do for you. I suffer so because I am a dirt. Adsense will have nothing to do with me because my blog has...gasp...pornography. 

This photoshop made me wince when I saw it. And I have an inny.


Pistol Smoke Drawing Pencil On Paper by BenziDraw


Giant Mutant Robot Scorpion Penis with a Gun by YYS-Musey


I do not know what to say about this. Naughty, Google. Naughty.



Saturday, February 10, 2018

Dirty Blues Sunday #5 - Irene Scruggs

Dirty Blues deals with topics that are considered taboo in proper society. Such music was banned from radio and only available on a jukebox in the blind pigs and juke joints of our nation. It was dancing music. Saturday night at the juke joint music.

Irene Scruggs (born December 7, 1901 – died probably July 20, 1981 in Germany) was an American Piedmont blues and country blues singer.

Using the pseudonym Chocolate Brown she recorded tracks with Blind Blake. To avoid contractual problems she was also billed as Dixie Nolan. By the early 1930s, Little Brother Montgomery took over as her accompanist on recordings and in touring.



Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises. Good Grinding · Little Brother Montgomery with Irene Scruggs






The Magic Tampon - MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER


I am amazed and know not what to say. - Hermia, Wm. Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 3 Scene 2
I wrote about the Tampon Fairy and the Magical Tampon Toss and then I saw Melissa Harris Perry wearing tampon earrings.

I thought 'Tampon Arts and Crafts." So I did the magic google thing. I am still laughing.







Tale of Tampon Fairy, the Golden Knight, and the Magical Tampon Rite


I am repeating this story in solidarity with Sisters in Arizona prisons who cannot get tampons at all or more than 12 pads per month. They get fined for bleeding on their uniforms. I say GENERAL STRIKE. Nobody wear pads or tampons. Bleed the fuck all over the mofo's prison. We are as tough as British women, right? 

Once upon a time . . . 
Guns are okay but the tampons must go! 

State troopers are confiscating tampons, maxi pads and other potential projectiles from those who are entering the Texas capitol to watch the debate and vote on a controversial anti-abortion bill. Guns, however, which are typically permitted in the state capitol, are still being allowed. Several people tweeted that troopers were taking the objects before allowing entrance into the gallery:

s
God bless prochoice men. Bless them just standing there in their socks with a sign.



And now for the Magical Tampon Rite.



Sunday, February 4, 2018

Dirty Blues Sunday #4 - Bessie Smith

Bessie Smith earned the title of “Empress of the Blues” by virtue of her forceful vocal delivery. She often sang without a microphone and her voice could fill the largest hall. Bessie Smith danced, acted and performed comedy routines with her touring company. She was the highest-paid Black performer of her day.

Bessie Smith, aka Elizabeth Smith, was born April 15 1898?, in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She died September 26, 1937, in Clarksdale, Mississippi, from injuries sustained in a road accident. It was said that, had she been white, she would have received earlier medical treatment, thus saving her life, and Edward Albee made this the subject of his play The Death of Bessie Smith (1960).

Empty Bed Blues is the song I think of when I hear her name. Bessie Smith did not scorn the Dirty Blues. These songs were standards in every blind pig and juke joint in the South and North.




Bessie Smith sang with most Jazz and Blues musicians of the era. Bessie Smith with Orchestra (Louis Armstrong -- cornet, Fred Longshaw, harmonium) -- St. Louis Blues, Parlophone ca 1935 (British re-edition of the US Columbia, MX 140241 from 1925)


Bessie Smith's only film appearance 1929. This is the complete film co-starring Jimmy Mordecai as her gigolo boyfriend. This film fell into the public domain in 1958 due to lack of copyright renewal.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Kristian Nygard Editorial Cartoonist

I have discovered another accomplished Cartoonist. His website is called OptiPess. 

I will investigate further. Right now just go to the link and ENJOY. His work is truly vicious. I like vicious in a Cartoonist. If you like Cartoon Art and vicious, send the Dude some BUCKS. Buy a Print. Buy a cup of coffee.  



General Strike a la Groucho Advances on Mar a Lago

It is all over. Old ladies are marching on Mar a Lago. Some of them are armed with vuvuzelas. Not our Cheeto!


“The liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerated the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than the democratic state itself. That in its essence is fascism: ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or any controlling private power.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt



Americans are moderates on the whole. General Strike is such a socialisty Frenchy thing to do. In France, it is everybody on the street for a day. Efficient and dramatic. American style is ongoing nearly daily march/strike over time. Both good.

I think it is time. Impeach before Trumpus starts killing Americans bigtime. So far his regime is just beating people up and killing them with rules.

Let us impress France. Revolution a la Groucho! Everybody out in the street for July the 4th. It is okay to punch a Fascist. Punch a Fascist for Jesus.






Saturday, January 27, 2018

Dirty Blues Sunday #3 - Bo Carter

Bo Carter, born Armenter Chatmon June 30 1893, is an American Delta Blues musician. He is well known since 1960 for his Dirty Blues songs. In 1928 he recorded Corinna Corinna. 
That's probably where everyone else got their version they recorded. Eric Clapton calls his version "Alberta, Alberta". I've even heard it called, "Sweet Maggie, Sweet Maggie". I guess you can use whatever woman's name you are trying to impress at the time. - Arkansas Red
Bo Carter was a member of the Mississippi Sheiks which Bo also managed. That group included his brother Lonnie Chatmon on fiddle and occasionally Sam Chatmon on bass, along with a friend, Walter Vinson, on guitar and lead vocals.



Dirty Blues. The filth and dirt begins now. Please Warm My Wiener recorded 1934.



For those not familiar with American slang I offer a translation. Biscuits are breasts. Biscuits, Jelly Roll, Fruit Basket - all such sweet talk. 



Released 1931. Rock me, Daddy. Rock me all night long. 


This recording is not particularly dirty. I include it because of the classic guitar riff which sounds so familiar. 




Monday, January 22, 2018

Vietnam Vet Gives Romney and the Rest of Us a Lesson in Civility and Reality

Mitt Romney is running for office again. This time running for Senator for Utah. 

What is there to say? Rmoney is an Asshat. Man is so damn awkward he makes me itch when I see him. Do you think Rmoney gets a facial every day? I would love to know who does his hair. 




Attitude Adjustment - Matthew 25:36 - I was sick, and ye visited me.

Update:
Read more...

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’