Eric Cantor Mon Amour - Debt Ceiling Edition

Reuters Photo

Eric Cantor is in the news again announcing things. I must confess. I have fantasies about Eric Cantor. Some might call it lust. Eric gives me Fever. The nature of my fantasies is so disturbing that I give thanks I am sober. And occasionally medicated. Am I the only one?

I do not know what it is about Eric that gets me so crazy. He lies and lies with a cheerful smile on his face, it is true. Misrepresentation not-quite-illegal is the method du jour of the Effete Elite. An unctuous smile is not a new experience. Maybe it is his voice. Or his hair and his ducky walk. 

I want to push his face into the sand box and grind. I want to pinch his cheeks until he hollers. I want to tear his titties off. With my teeth. I am so going to Hell.

Call me crazy? You would be right. Diagnosed.Would I do this? Only in my dreams. I am no slimy terrorist. I do have a rich full fantasy life. Oh Eric. "Come onna my house my house a come on; Ima gonna give you candy."