Sunday, April 18, 2021

The Penis and the Gun or This is for Fighting and This is for Fun

There are a number of websites that are tracking accidental gun wounding and gun death. You can read a new gun death or wounding story every day in America. I was in a constant state of upset. Toddlers dying and/or shooting their Mother or their little brother. Just unbearable. And then I switched. 

The whole American gun debacle is so ugly, ridiculous, and constant that all I can do now is laugh. Do you think maybe God has a sense of humor? A truly black sense of humor? I mean, what would you find funny if you were God? I think "BANG - right in the penis!"

Gun enthusiasts shoot themselves in the dick regularly. Oh the schadenfreude - it is delicious. "His girlfriend's little pink pistol" got him right in his little pink pistol.

I asked myself, "Self, could something funnier than some guy shooting himself in the dick exist?" How low can God go? Oh me of little faith. How about shooting your Mother in church? Lord, have mercy. Have mercy, God, on a suffering people. God say "Be calm. Breathe. Free will."

First come the dick shootings and then come the Mama fraggings in that order. I had to stop there were so many. Incoming!
Yakima Herald, Washington - WENATCHEE — Authorities say Martin Eugene Hoyer was on the second day of a methamphetamine binge when he decided to kick in a neighbor’s door to rescue her from hallucinatory “Mexicans.” When he did so, the handgun in his waistband discharged, sending a bullet through his lower abdomen and into his scrotum, police said.
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) – Police in Portland say a man suspected of shooting a neighbor shot himself in the groin while trying to leave the scene of the crime.
LEHIGH ACRES, FL - A 23-year-old man was taken to the hospital with multiple burn wounds after he accidentally shot himself in the genitals with a flare gun, according to the Lee County Sheriff's Office.
Man accidentally shoots himself in groin at Alaska State Fair by Tegan Hanlon
A man in Macon Georgia shot himself in the penis on Thursday, according to WMAZ Channel 13.
CHANDLER, Ariz. – Police are preaching firearms safety after a Chandler man accidentally shot himself in the penis with his girlfriend's little pink pistol.
Police in the town of Rio Claro received a call around 8:00 a.m. on Sunday from witnesses who had heard a shot coming from a parked car. The responding officers found a driver slumped at the wheel bleeding from his... private parts.\
Argus Leader Donald Anthony Watson was admitted to the Avera McKennan emergency room about 1:30 a.m. Sept. 6 for a gunshot wound to his penis, according to an arrest affidavit. When questioned by police, the 43-year-old said he was shot by “a black guy (who) tried to rob” him while he was taking out the trash at his apartment.

 Last but not least, the mama woundings. I had to stop. I am a Mama. 

Sheriff's deputy unintentionally shoots mother during wedding ceremony
Cory Golightly is a sheriff's deputy in the McCracken County Sheriff's Department in Kentucky. He was off-duty, attending a wedding with his mother at the Bardwell Baptist Church in Carlisle County when he dropped his gun.
According to witnesses, Golightly was adjusting his jacket and the gun and holster fell out. The gun discharged when it hit the floor. The bullet hit his Mother. Golightly's mother was taken to the hospital and is said to be in stable condition. The pianist at the wedding said Golightly was very composed throughout the incident. "He said, 'Mom, breathe and be calm. Be calm," he said. Golightly has been placed on paid leave while the incident is investigated. His name is Corry Golightly. 
Mississippi woman was severely injured on Tuesday after her son accidentally shot her in the face. WDAM reported that Richard Lawrence told officers he was sitting in his truck showing his mother his new .38 caliber pistol when the gun mistakenly discharged, shooting the woman in the face.