-scale=1.0,maximum-scale=1.0" : "width=1100"' name='viewport'/> Plum Street Chili: Gender Confusion

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Gender Confusion

If you read Leviticus, you come to understand that the tribe of Levi were a sexy bunch. The Levite rules about what you are not supposed to do in a tent, tell us exactly what they were doing in the tents. Auntie Diddlers, evil Father Rapers (apology to Arlo).

Modern life has become a bit more complicated thanks to Science. I am experiencing gender confusion. Think of the flavors available: Celibate, PolyAmorous, Asexual, Lesbian, Gay, BiSexual, Homosexual, Trans Gender, Intersex, Queer.

I have been all these things (at one time or another) whenever a situation seemed to require it. You do enough of that and eventually all orifices begin to look alike. Talk about confusion.

Even the protuberances become mere supporting structures guiding one into the pink, undulating, lubricious, steaming center of the Pile. Anybody remember Plato's Retreat? The place gave new meaning to the mob phrase "going to the mattresses." But I digress.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a member of a hitherto unsung sexual minority: the Polymorphous Perverse. Thank you, Sigmund Freud and Merriam Webster, for clearing it all up for me.

Characterized by or displaying sexual tendencies that have no specific direction, as in an infant or young child, but that may evolve into acts that are regarded as perversions in adults; 
Relating to or exhibiting infantile sexual tendencies in which the genitals are not yet identified as the sole or principal sexual organs nor coitus as the goal of erotic activity."
I blame some of my confusion and frenetic activity on the Menopause. When the estrogen went ByeBye, I was swept away by a tidal wave of testosterone. Progesterone? I grew a faint mustache. I have never looked back.

Human sexual variation is a fact of life; it is not an opinion, a sin, or a choice. I am so fricking old that I remember the Sixties. I was there. If it feels good, do It, we said. Safely. I had to add that thought in the 80s.

And then somebody will find a name for It, ban It, write a book about It, make a video of It, develop a program for swearing off Ior a pill to make the sensations more exquisite. Ah, modern life.

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