Sign of the Month - March 2014

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver. - Burma Shave and Polite Kool Marxist

This sign comes from graphic artist John A. Kwitkoski via Juanita Jean's - The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Parlor, a funny source for Texas politics from a Democratic point of view. I had to steal it because it is too fricking good. 

I was going to give you one of Pastor Doctor James David Manning's signs but this Obama Zombie turned up in the search. I love it. I had to share it. You can see it in detail by clicking the magazine's link below.

Nathaniel Page. “They Vote To Suck Your Blood.” LA City Beat 

SexPig Terrorist Who Supports Forced Birthers

Today's sexpig is Zachary Jordan Klundt. I cannot find any information that he is guilty of explicitly sexual crimes yet. He just hates women, pregnant or otherwise.

Mr. Klundt is charged with arson, theft, and vandalism, which is the pervert trifecta. He is a white supremacist with a gun too. Several guns.

One account of the vandalism said there was a "powdery yellow substance" all over everything." Maybe it was pollen? Maybe his Momma never had "the talk" with him and he is just an excitable boy? You think he got a woody when he was destroying all the Art?

Mr. Klundt took documents and files. Mr. Klundt and his "prolife" buddies could be coming after you or your cousin Flora to replay a 21st Century version of The Scarlet Letter. Just contemplate that for a moment.

I promised myself I would not make fun of his name. I will not make fun of his name. Unacceptable. I will just make fun of his Mother's name, which is Twyla Klundt.

Mrs. Twyla Klundt runs the crisis pregnancy center mentioned below. I like it as Twatwaffle Kundt. Be a great name for a graphic novel. I hope this oaf's white supremacist buddies do not come after me. Be a shame to die for a Twat Joke.

Suspect In Montana Clinic Vandalism May Be Linked To Controversial ‘Crisis Pregnancy’ Center

By David Neiwert

The clinic, All Families Healthcare, was vandalized overnight Monday when one or more perpetrators broke glass and equipment throughout the office. Zachary Klundt, a 24-year-old Kalispell resident, was arrested while breaking into another building early Tuesday morning, and was promptly linked to the clinic burglary because of evidence he was carrying.

Culture Cakes

Judson Phillips of Tea Party Nation is raising a hue and cry for freedom.

Phillips is dismayed that Governor Jan Brewer vetoed SB1062 in Arizona. You know, The Gay Bill. He fears the end of it all will be slavery and the Penis Cake. And the Orgy.

The crusade is diverse. The Phillips crusade is not just about Christians. He wants to protect Muslim caterers from pork. I would make a pork joke here but it is too easy.

"Should a devout baker be required to create a cake for a homosexual wedding that has a giant phallic symbol on it or should a baker be required to create pastries for a homosexual wedding in the shape of genitalia? Or should a photographer be required to photograph a homosexual wedding where the participants decide they want to be nude or engage in sexual behavior?" 

I thought this Phillips person was full of feverish fantasy and a little over the top. I thought I would check it out. I googled Penis Cake. ZOMG! I need to get out more.

You can get a Penis Cake for most any occasion. Penis Wedding Cake anyone? 








Penis Cupcakes? 
Or Penis Bread?

I can see how this situation might create anxiety. Gives a whole new meaning to "Let them eat cake." Or "the staff of life."

If Judson Phillips becomes entirely too anxious, he can always soothe himself by learning how to bake a Booby Cake. Boobs are soothing. Nom nom. 

Or Judson Phillips could just stop thinking about that icky homosexual sex. Or take a damn Xanax and keep his fevered dreams to himself. When did minding your own business go out of fashion as an American value? When did humiliating customers because Jebus come in?

Asshats on Parade - "Putin Will Teach You How to Love" Edition

This is the first AssHat Award that is international as opposed to national. The USA does not have a monopoly on exceptional Assholes. 

Cossack militia attacked the Pussy Riot punk group with horsewhips on Wednesday as the group staged an impromptu performance under a sign advertising the Sochi Olympics.

Six group members — five women and one man — donned their signature ski masks and were pulling out a guitar and microphone when at least 10 Cossacks and other security officials moved in.

These brave Folks turned your beating into Art so good I know about it in the USA. It is a small world, Putski.

We are laughing at you, Pussywhipped Putin. 

Laughter is mightier than the pen and the bullwhip.