Who lives in a shoe.
Every day he has
Nothing to do.
But cavil and sigh.
I know a guy
Who swallowed some poo.
No one knows why
He swallowed doo doo.
He swallowed doo to help a Pig.
Let's make him cry.
by erikemiranda |
With laughs, this set runs for one or two minutes. When I remember an additional minute, I will add it. There is more, but I have yet to perform this set since I had both knees replaced.
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I am so upset tonight.
You are a comedy audience. Get with it. You have lines. I say: I am very upset. And you say: Awwww. So let’s take it from the top.
I am very upset.
Awwwwww.
I found out my boyfriend is fucking two other women.
(visual joke: I am 80).
Men are animals.
Dogs are more faithful.
I said to him, HAMZA: you keep doing the three women cha cha, you will need more than viagra to get it up. You are going to need a crane.
I said to him, HAMZA: you keep doing the three women cha cha, you going to cha cha yourself right into bypass city.
Listen, I am progressive. When we go to Miami, I buy him a beach bunny. Sometimes two. It is the deceit. And the whining. “I want to go to Miami.” One day, I will drop him off at Tabatchnik’s, where I picked him up.
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Simon chastised me for being rude, crude and pornographic. So...? I think of this as giving him some bang for his bunk.Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKEN (1880-1956), U.S. journalist.