Ballad of the Sunday Gunny

Gun fired during Mass
By William Kibler, The Altoona Mirror

A legally carried handgun discharged in the pocket of an attendee at Easter vigil Mass at the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament on Saturday evening. A critical piece of the handgun apparently caught on the man's pants as he stood up, according to Altoona police officer Christy Heck. The safety apparently was not engaged, she said.

Print by Jared Aubel.  Find out more HERE. There are other versions of this fine Print. 

Ballad of the Sunday Gunny by Lance Thruster

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

long as I can do trigger squeezes,
sittin' in church, packin' in my pants.
Comes in colors, blued or silver.

My good book don't try to pilfer.
I'll mow you down if you so much as glance.

Get yourself a Great Equalizer.

Your congregation won't be any wiser,
A manly grip of abalone shell.
10 round mag, now ain't that scary, 

right in front of the Virgin Mary,
I will send your sorry ass to Hell.

Gun goes off, now ain't that somethin'.

Folks'll think that I'm a bumpkin.

I almost shot my nuts clean through.
Make sure you're safe on Easter Sunday, 

and not some boob laughed at on Monday
just because you put a bullet in the pew.