Spanky Sparkles - MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER

Use a picture. It's worth a thousand words.
Arthur Brisbane

I troll the internet so you do not have to, Cher Reader. Enjoy.

I try to find attribution for every image I post. Often I cannot. Artists, sign your work.

Keep Moving Your Weary Buns

So I typed this on Breitbart. No one laughed. 

"Leftists are evil. Their touch corrupts. Leftists will eat us if we let them. We need arms. We need faggots for the Faggots!"

I understand why satire is almost dead. No one is awake on the Cooter spectrum reality wise. What is a Cooter?

I needed a new word to describe Trumpians et al. AUTHORITARIAN is too long and FASCISTS is too too loaded. Troll is not sufficient because this species of Troll is a political creature. So some brilliant person uses COOTERS. I like it.

A Cooter is not Conservative by any stretch of the imagination. Team Sports RahRah attitude toward politics is killing us. And that seems to be all the Cooters have to express. Cooters are basic entities; all they do is sleep, eat, fight and fuck. Conversation is not possible.

Trump was elected by MomMom and PopPop and Putin. See them enjoying a Trumpian Rite of Supremacy and Afternoon Orgy. Dress: Casual. Cooters. My proof? See below. 

I am getting tired now. Worn out by the Obtuse. Wearied by the Weird. "Resist!" I tell myself. "Get your weary buns in motion. Once more unto the breach...etc."

Music to marchons by below from Blues virtuoso John Hurt.

Note to Ben and Candy Carson

"A word to the wise is enough, and many words won't fill a bushel." Benjamin Franklin

Congress and the Executive Branch must be randomly and regularly drug tested. Sauce for the Workingman must be sauce for the Suits. As Wifty Ben's employer, we have a right and duty to insist on sobriety as a job requirement.

BEN: You high Dude. You high as fuck. Dude, you so fucking high I doubt you can fuck. So high you cannot keep your eyes open. High dee high de Ho.

CANDY: How can you allow your husband to go on TV high as a kite? We see him. He is so high he can hardly function. For God's sake and his GO TO AL ANON. Do you care for him or respect him at all? I think not. Takes dedicated drug use to get so sick. Ben has deteriorated. Begun to slur his words. BTDT. Got the Tshirt and wore it out.

First Day of Spring 2018

“If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”
Percy Bysshe Shelley, Ode to the West Wind

Today is the official First Day of Spring. The United Nations declared this is official International Happiness Day.

Humbug! We have a 24 hour Winter Storm Warning In Philadelphia today. Happy Spring all the same. I am planning my garden. It must be Spring.

Jeffrey Koterba is the cartoonist. His blog is HERE.

Ethics. I think I am writing about Ethics. Maybe.

I have been saying that I reject the 'team spirit' form of politics. What the fuck am I talking about? I do not know for sure. I am on to something or other. 

I suspect that Folks protesting Trump et al are Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Greens etc. all together. Americans indivisible. 

I see myself being angry and mean to Trumpanzees (see there I go) and I do not like my act. And let me tell you, I am real good at angry, mean and arrogant. And I enjoy it. Every day I send some mean twitter thing to PEEOTUS.


So this Michael Boyle guy I quote below speaks to my condition. I mean, is this meanness helpful now that a mighty crunch is upon us? I am full of doubt. Who are the fucking good guys? Kucinich is saying the Intelligence Community are running a coup and leading us into war. 

"The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity." - William Butler Yeats

How Shall We Live in the Age of Trump? by Michael Boyle

Quote. Read more at the link.

Human beings have a natural tendency (and, if you want to call it an "original sin," I'm not going to stop you) to become the very thing that they seek to resist. Everyone who seeks to be active in the Age of Trump will be forced into situations where they will have to decide between speaking out against bigotry and exclusion among their own "team" and staying silent for the good of that team. Being a person of integrity and cultivating those instincts and habits will serve all of us well when that day comes. And it will come.

I am not a powerful person. I am not rich, nor influential in any significant manner. I cannot unilaterally change the way the world around me runs, and I certainly cannot change what people think and say and believe. All I can do is live with integrity, and use that integrity as a platform for living the rest of my life. This living with integrity may not change anything, it may not sway anyone to my way of thinking (or any way of thinking). But it is all I have, and it is what I am committed to do.

Chicken Trump - Владимир Путин любит твой член в его заднице. - Magic Google Finger

The title above is the best response yet to Russopublican disINFObots on social media. Use your translator.

No Russian sanctions enforced yet? PLUNK MY MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER (CHICKEN TRUMP). Cluck!

Chicken Yellow

Designer Chicken

Mad Chicken

Plucked Chicken

General Tso's Chicken

HaPenis is a Warm Gun

I wrote this vile snarky article about guns. Because the article and guns are getting renewed attention, I thought I would double down. I like attention

I utilized my MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER again. I googled PENIS GUN. The results range from the literal through the cartoon to the sublime as usual. 

I hope you, Cher Reader, appreciate what I do for you. I suffer so because I am a dirt. Adsense will have nothing to do with me because my blog has...gasp...pornography. 

This photoshop made me wince when I saw it. And I have an inny.

Pistol Smoke Drawing Pencil On Paper by BenziDraw

Giant Mutant Robot Scorpion Penis with a Gun by YYS-Musey

I do not know what to say about this. Naughty, Google. Naughty.

Dirty Blues Sunday #5 - Irene Scruggs

Dirty Blues deals with topics that are considered taboo in proper society. Such music was banned from radio and only available on a jukebox in the blind pigs and juke joints of our nation. It was dancing music. Saturday night at the juke joint music.

Irene Scruggs (born December 7, 1901 – died probably July 20, 1981 in Germany) was an American Piedmont blues and country blues singer.

Using the pseudonym Chocolate Brown she recorded tracks with Blind Blake. To avoid contractual problems she was also billed as Dixie Nolan. By the early 1930s, Little Brother Montgomery took over as her accompanist on recordings and in touring.

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises. Good Grinding · Little Brother Montgomery with Irene Scruggs

The Magic Tampon - MAGIC GOOGLE FINGER

I am amazed and know not what to say. - Hermia, Wm. Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 3 Scene 2

I wrote about the Tampon Fairy and the Magical Tampon Toss and then I saw Melissa Harris Perry wearing tampon earrings.

I thought 'Tampon Arts and Crafts." So I did the magic google thing. I am still laughing.

Tale of Tampon Fairy, the Golden Knight, and the Magical Tampon Rite

I am repeating this story in solidarity with Sisters in Arizona prisons who cannot get tampons at all or more than 12 pads per month. They get fined for bleeding on their uniforms. I say GENERAL STRIKE. Nobody wear pads or tampons. Bleed the fuck all over the mofo's prison. We are as tough as British women, right? 

Once upon a time . . . 
Guns are okay but the tampons must go! 

State troopers are confiscating tampons, maxi pads and other potential projectiles from those who are entering the Texas capitol to watch the debate and vote on a controversial anti-abortion bill. Guns, however, which are typically permitted in the state capitol, are still being allowed. Several people tweeted that troopers were taking the objects before allowing entrance into the gallery:

Stand with Texas Women. 

s
God bless prochoice men. Bless them just standing there in their socks with a sign.

And now for the Magical Tampon Rite.

Dirty Blues Sunday #4 - Bessie Smith

Bessie Smith earned the title of “Empress of the Blues” by virtue of her forceful vocal delivery. She often sang without a microphone and her voice could fill the largest hall. Bessie Smith danced, acted and performed comedy routines with her touring company. She was the highest-paid Black performer of her day.

Bessie Smith, aka Elizabeth Smith, was born April 15 1898?, in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She died September 26, 1937, in Clarksdale, Mississippi, from injuries sustained in a road accident. It was said that, had she been white, she would have received earlier medical treatment, thus saving her life, and Edward Albee made this the subject of his play The Death of Bessie Smith (1960).

Empty Bed Blues is the song I think of when I hear her name. Bessie Smith did not scorn the Dirty Blues. These songs were standards in every blind pig and juke joint in the South and North.

Bessie Smith sang with most Jazz and Blues musicians of the era. Bessie Smith with Orchestra (Louis Armstrong -- cornet, Fred Longshaw, harmonium) -- St. Louis Blues, Parlophone ca 1935 (British re-edition of the US Columbia, MX 140241 from 1925)

Bessie Smith's only film appearance 1929. This is the complete film co-starring Jimmy Mordecai as her gigolo boyfriend. This film fell into the public domain in 1958 due to lack of copyright renewal.

Kristian Nygard Editorial Cartoonist

I have discovered another accomplished Cartoonist. His website is called OptiPess. 

I will investigate further. Right now just go to the link and ENJOY. His work is truly vicious. I like vicious in a Cartoonist. If you like Cartoon Art and vicious, send the Dude some BUCKS. Buy a Print. Buy a cup of coffee.  

Dirty Blues Sunday #3 - Bo Carter

Bo Carter, born Armenter Chatmon June 30 1893, is an American Delta Blues musician. He is well known since 1960 for his Dirty Blues songs. In 1928 he recorded Corinna Corinna. 

That's probably where everyone else got their version they recorded. Eric Clapton calls his version "Alberta, Alberta". I've even heard it called, "Sweet Maggie, Sweet Maggie". I guess you can use whatever woman's name you are trying to impress at the time. - Arkansas Red

Bo Carter was a member of the Mississippi Sheiks which Bo also managed. That group included his brother Lonnie Chatmon on fiddle and occasionally Sam Chatmon on bass, along with a friend, Walter Vinson, on guitar and lead vocals.

Dirty Blues. The filth and dirt begins now. Please Warm My Wiener recorded 1934.

For those not familiar with American slang I offer a translation. Biscuits are breasts. Biscuits, Jelly Roll, Fruit Basket - all such sweet talk. 

Released 1931. Rock me, Daddy. Rock me all night long. 

This recording is not particularly dirty. I include it because of the classic guitar riff which sounds so familiar. 

Vietnam Vet Gives Romney and the Rest of Us a Lesson in Civility and Reality

Mitt Romney is running for office again. This time running for Senator for Utah. 

What is there to say? Rmoney is an Asshat. Man is so damn awkward he makes me itch when I see him. Do you think Rmoney gets a facial every day? I would love to know who does his hair. 

Attitude Adjustment - Matthew 25:36 - I was sick, and ye visited me.

Update:

TRUMP DOESN’T CARE ABOUT HIV. WE’RE OUTTA HERE

Read more...

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Signs of the Month - January 2018

I spent this month terrified and laughing. I do not know how long I can go on this way. I think about emigrating to Mexico on the West Coast just south of the US border. Or Canada. My GrandFather came here fleeing the Fascists in Italy. Now I am thinking of fleeing the Fascists in the USA. Talk me down.

Dirty Blues Sunday #2 - Lucille Bogan

I found that Dirty Blues is a music genre all its own just poking around on the net last Sunday. And then I went looking for the music and songs. And I am finding such treasure.

Lucille Bogan 

April 1, 1897 – August 10, 1948

Mrs. Lucille Bogan is an American blues singer, among the first to be recorded. She also recorded under the pseudonym Bessie Jackson. She was born Lucille Anderson in Amory, Mississippi.

The music critic Ernest Borneman said Bogan was one of "the big three of the blues", along with Ma Rainey and Bessie Smith. Reference: Russell, Tony (1997). The Blues: From Robert Johnson to Robert Cray. Dubai: Carlton Books. p. 94. List of songs written by Lucille Bogan. 

Released under the pseudonym Bessie Jackson. B.D. stands for bulldagger or bulldyke, colloquial terms of the era that meant lesbian. The term bulldyke has unfortunately survived to the present day among the sexually frightened.

Piggly Wiggly, the Southern grocery chain's imaginative name, becomes a pseudonym for brothel in sly Dirty Blues. Double entendre is the name of the game. We will be learning more together every Sunday. 

Banner Records - Song Recorded 3-5-1935 In Chicago, Illinois. Written by Lucille Bogan.

Last but not least, a song about marijuana. Great Grandpa and Grandma were not the old fogies you might think they were. Reefer Blues, Vintage Songs about Marijuana Volume 2. 

Message to Advertisers and Websites. Up Your Giggy.

Here is the deal.

I never used an ad blocker until ads got so intrusive that it actually made me mad. Video ads that start at a loud volume automatically the moment you enter a website? Ads that pop up and obscure what you are trying to read?

If you are poor, you cannot read an article from New York Times. You go to NYT responding to a link from one of their authors and BANG you get a bill. I do not read the NYT. They are politically in the bag for the 1%.

I read the Guardian which asks politely to send a contribution. I contributed a small amount of my choosing.

Now sites (like Mother Jones and Weather Channel etc.) beg you to turn off your ad blocker. No way. Eat Shit and Die. As publications and marketers have sown, so they now reap.

My that rant felt good.

Purity Purges. Relax. It is James O'Keefe.

Beware the Twitter. They watching you do It. Maybe we can charge them for the jollies? 

See the video below to learn all about James OKeefe's new project. 

Some folks were running a Craig's List style prostitution racket on Twitter. Twitter was oblivious and ragging on me for saying FUCK whenever some revenge seeking nerd reported me. I troll the Internet. 

I got timed out for calling Louise Mensch 'Dirty Louise.' Meanwhile, folks were posting those short fuckfilms porno sites are known for. And Dirty Louise got proven a con.

What is this? Twitter abuse because they allowed and still allow many Russian/Reputin disINFObot trolls free rein and are being called on it by FEDGOV and others. 

The beatings will continue until morality improves. Or until the American public learns how to tell a con when they see one. This will be as successful as the last purity purge calling for 'internet civility.' Meanwhile, rightwing authoritarians heads are exploding all over the online universe. 

Do not pray for me. God might think I hang out with you.

I read this opinion piece from Charisma News and immediately developed an attitude. In the context of sexuality, the "watchman on the wall" stuff makes me think about Peepers. Peepers are creepy down to the ground.

Voyeurism is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other actions usually considered to be of a private nature. - wikipedia

A photographic essay Exposed: Voyeurism, Surveillance; and the Camera since 1870 has been created and edited by Sandra S. Phillips, Simon Baker, Richard B. Woodward. It is a fascinating look at voyeurism and photography and the inherent pleasure and ubiquity of peeking. We all enjoy it and some of us are addicted to peeking. But I digress.

Gay-Affirming Nabisco Is Shoving More Than Oreos Down Our Throats

"Many are calling for a boycott of Nabisco. I’m not a fan of boycotts, but I am a fan of healthy eating—and I’m not a thin little 7-year-old anymore. I stopped eating Oreos, Nilla Wafers and Nutter Butters long ago to avoid packing on unwanted pounds. That said, Nabisco is still trying to shove something down my throat for which I have no taste. Although I defend their right to do so, I grieve over the latest example of how immorality is the new normal. Our only godly response is to continue speaking the truth in love and to pray for those whose hand may be caught in the cookie jar of sexual immorality when Jesus returns." - Jennifer LeClaire, news editor of Charisma.

Read more of LeClaire's opus at the link. Her essay is meant to be a response to an ad by Nabisco below. Subject: Wholesome Family Life

Maybe it is just me but is it not sexually suggestive to use the phrase "shove something down my throat for which I have no taste?" And we are going to teach godly sex by referring to the "cookie jar of sexual immorality?" Say what? I hear the word "cookie" and I begin to salivate. Is that really the reaction this woman is trying to create?

I mean, a Christian looks at a family and the first thing you think of is gay sex? Huh? And gay folks are supposed to be "objectively disordered?" Something stinks to the highest heaven in the state of Christianity. Disclamer: I self identify as Christian.

I was starting to get all bent out of shape over this and someone posted this photograph of a cookie jar --------->

Sometimes my Significant Other looks just like this Pup. I gained perspective immediately. That is the power of image and sight. Now, if you are reading this, Honey Baby, I think you adorable when you are wagging your tail, so to speak.

If this is The Cookie Jar of Sexual Immorality, I want one. And I am going to fill it with Sinfully Good Chocolate Brownies and HoneyMaid Crackers.

Fragment Furioso

Once you have been sexually assaulted - me at age 7 in the stacks at the dry cleaner - it is like you wear a virtual sign WEIRDOS WELCOME. The Monsters find you. You cannot see them. Monsters can see your sign. They come in disguise - physician, friendly neighbor etc. Even my Mother. Remarkable I live. And I can laugh. And I do.

"Do not tell your Mother." I knew early never to tell my Mother a damn thing. It is 1:02 ante meridian. I am likely to type any damn thing. Note: Maybe this is a serious poem? Nah.

Hymn to Hillz.

Oh Hillz, so puissant.
Bitch Goddess.
She is cleverer than all the rest.
She is fearless and corrupt.
She is THE FEMINAZI.

My New Year's Resolution

I am on my third glass of champagne. Happy New Year Cher Readers!

Join me in my New Year's Revolution. 

 

 

Happy New Year! 2017

The FEDGOV passed a bill that will kill me. White Christians put this administration in power. Merry Christmas rings hollow on White Christian lips. And I think of myself as a Christian.

Kind of put a damper on my holiday. Don Addis helps me laugh about it all. Mr. Addis died in 2009. Rest in peace and laughter.

I pray daily for Peace. Have a Happy and Prosperous New Year, cher Readers. Here comes the Sun...

Madhubani/Mithila Painting is practiced in the Mithila region of India and Nepal. Painting is done with fingers, twigs, brushes, nib-pens, and matchsticks, using natural dyes and pigments, and is characterised by eye-catching geometrical patterns.

DEVASTATION

I have lost the ability to comment and six years of comments. I know they are there somewhere. If anyone can help, I need it. Email: CherryTheTart@gmail.com. I am working on fixing it.

COMMENTING ABILITY IS BACK! HOPE TO GET OLD COMMENTS BACK.

Disqus did it by running two versions of my blog. Now they are sold and will not help me. I humbly apologize to you, Cher Readers. So many comments from so many fine people over the years are gone. Some made by folks no longer commenting with us. I am going to resolve this somehow. Meanwhile...I have to find a solution. I love my readers.

Somebody else has the same problem. Thank you, Julie. I blamed myself too soon.
MaryEGaughan
@MaryEGaughan 4 hours ago
We've been using Disqus on our Drupal site, fsg.org for over two years. Now the comments have disappeared. It is still installed on the site, up and running in Disqus and permissions are set correctly. The only recent change is that we've gone from http to https, which is not supposed to affect the integration. Any suggestions as to what the problem might be would be appreciated.

The Flop Seen Around the World

I enjoyed this as much as the Spenser punch in the face. Punch a Nazi for Jesus. I am helping the video go viral. 

I really enjoyed this video. So satisfying. Turn it up loud to hear what they say because sound is low. I watched it 5 times.