PU^^Y CATS or GRANDMA WAS A DIRT - Dirty Blues Sunday #6

Some songs here are not Blues. Nothing wrong with a little Swinging Country dirt. According to Green's Dictionary of Slang, Parisian booksellers covered their seditious or obscene material with blue paper in 18th century. The first citation for blue meaning obscene comes from 1818. So I think I can sneak through a couple not so Blues but right on theme songs. 

Striptease for Freedom and Good Sense

 Sometimes I really appreciate Young Turks. Like now.

Sexual Shame and American Politics (or) This diary has absolutely no redeeming social value. - UPDATED

Mark Sanford is BACK! He has written a new book about his adventures. He is running for POTUS. So I just had to bring this filthy tasteless joke back. Scroll to the bottom if all you want to read is the filthy tasteless joke.

‘I’m a citizen with no country:’ Mark Sanford on turning against Trump and his party | Republicans | The Guardian

Weiner's weiner. 

Somewhere there is a picture of me in blue lace undies, wearing all my wrinkles and a black leather dildo. What can I say? It was Halloween and there was Jameson. Google (and now the NSA) knows that once in awhile I like to look at pictures of corpses and Ladyboys with large mammaries.  

However, I must run for office as a public service, because I am shameless.  And therein resides a source of potential power. In my very first speech, I would confess about the dildo and the filthy pictures. And challenge my opponent to do the same. Just to keep everybody honest. Think about it. If you remove sexual peccadilloes as a disqualifying condition for office, what is there to lie about given general honesty otherwise?

My confession would guarantee undying interest in myself by the MS Media forever.  Think Anthony Weiner's penis pictures. A sigh of relief would be heard in Congress. Normal folks who like to look at weird pictures would see me as friendly. Do you have any idea how many folks would actually vote for me? I could carry a political party to victory on this stance alone. Yea or nay, sex and crime sells. 

I am going to be President if I keep this up. One, make folks laugh and they are yours. Life is looking kind of grim lately. Two, everybody is sick to death of hearing about what other people do with their Things. Maybe we could talk about important things? Like nuclear disarmament? Ending world hunger? Peace? Clean water? 

I got really tired of hearing about "Christian marriage." Dude has no problem reaching into the marriages of others to compel childbirth. Don’t even bother telling me this is not a nice thing to say. Or it is not funny or too snarky. I warned you not to read it, did I not?
*Sanford menage a trois: Jenny, Mark and God. I do wonder who got sloppy seconds.

Ballad of the Sunday Gunny

Gun fired during Mass
By William Kibler, The Altoona Mirror

A legally carried handgun discharged in the pocket of an attendee at Easter vigil Mass at the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament on Saturday evening. A critical piece of the handgun apparently caught on the man's pants as he stood up, according to Altoona police officer Christy Heck. The safety apparently was not engaged, she said.

Print by Jared Aubel.  Find out more HERE. There are other versions of this fine Print. 

Ballad of the Sunday Gunny by Lance Thruster

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

long as I can do trigger squeezes,
sittin' in church, packin' in my pants.
Comes in colors, blued or silver.

My good book don't try to pilfer.
I'll mow you down if you so much as glance.

Get yourself a Great Equalizer.

Your congregation won't be any wiser,
A manly grip of abalone shell.
10 round mag, now ain't that scary, 

right in front of the Virgin Mary,
I will send your sorry ass to Hell.

Gun goes off, now ain't that somethin'.

Folks'll think that I'm a bumpkin.

I almost shot my nuts clean through.
Make sure you're safe on Easter Sunday, 

and not some boob laughed at on Monday
just because you put a bullet in the pew.