The Eyes of Texas - Political Signs - November 2013

The eyes of Texas are upon you
All the live long days
The eyes of Texas are upon you
And you cannot get away.
- Roy Orbison

I almost let November slip by without selecting the Signs of the Month. This month it is all about Wendy Davis. Seems her run for Governor in Texas has captured the public imagination.

Suits making a list, they checking it twice, NOW they know who is naughty or nice. Black Helicopters coming to town. - UPDATE

I wrote about lack of sexual privacy and cheerful voyeurism in America before. The situation has degenerated. The Gummint is listening and watching and reading and recording everything you do. And storing it all for future viewing pleasure.

Just let that sink in fully. They know about my Black Leather Dildo and the Large Mammaries. What do they know about YOU? 

Not to worry. Them Suits and Nerds knowing about my Dildo keeps us all FREE. The Patriot Act makes us free! It keeps us safe. Right? 

I have lingering doubts. My question is: 
Why should the Government get to peek for free? I think we need Revolution a la Groucho. Even Hippies understood the rules. "Gas, grass or ass. Nobody rides for free." Reciprocity makes the world go round. 

I have a plan. We must include the Government in our conversations. Include the Government in our public and private intercourse. Give our Government a place in our family. And think real American values: Every man a profit center. 

Write manifestos. Create scenarios. Get a webcam. Shit, get a video camera and a spotlight. Picture this: 

Scene 1: Somewhere on a rooftop in New York City with spotlight and speakers. 

"I am going to do you tonight, Baby. So hard and so loud. And I am going to leave the cell phone ON.

Oh Suits, it turns us on you listening. Do you feel me. Can you hear the Santorum dripping down my leg? Can you see the slap, slap, tickle? Does it feel good for you too?

Tiffany scream! Scream loud. Rock me, Baby.  They flying over us now!

Screams: I want to go to Miami! 

Send the Satellite by, we are on the roof with champagne, a bullwhip and Vivaldi."

Once they come tuning in or flying by, we send them a bill for the experience. Or we shoot them with paint balls and silly string and film them when they send Swat back at us. Bet we could sell that video to Al Jazeera. Be one big diverse madcap Universe of Hubris, KY, Videotape and Bullets. Oh fuck me now!

UPDATE: Curiouser and curiouser. 

NSA About Attorney-Client Privilege Concerns: We'll Probably Grab Your Communications But We'll Try Not To 'Listen In'
A couple of weeks back we covered the American Bar Association asking for assurance from the NSA that attorney-client communications, even those involving foreign clients, would remain out of the agency's reach. This was prompted by a leak that showed the NSA had given an Australian intelligence agency the go-ahead to intercept communications between a US law firm and its Indonesian clients.

UPDATE: 

 "WASHINGTON, Aug 5 (Reuters) - A secretive U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration unit is funneling information from intelligence intercepts, wiretaps, informants and a massive database of telephone records to authorities across the nation to help them launch criminal investigations of Americans".

A defense attorney is suing the National Security Agency for phone records in a criminal case, US vs. Terrance Brown. It had to happen.  Fricking Karma. Thank you, Snowden. All by yourself you neutered the Spyboys and the Suits.

Do I think this will make the Spyboys stop haunting us? Hell no. Humans perseverate. 

Now the Suits and NSA may have to produce all these facts for the defense in criminal cases? If so, thank you doG. It is the 21st century jobs program -  finally here - and the lawyers did it. 

The battle over this is going to be a hoot. Think of the clerks involved alone. Did I say clerks? Think Scribes. Back to the past. Hand written letters and Secret Couriers are back. 

Fallen Fruit Park with Update: Neighborhood Infusions

UPDATE: I did more research about Fallen Fruit artists cooperative. I think the ongoing INFUSIONS project is fascinating. It is a new frontier for this Community Artist.

An ongoing project by Fallen Fruit, in collaboration with Greenbar collective organic distillery in which we pick the fruit we find on a certain street or locale, infuse it in vodka, and name it for the neighborhood.  We’re interested in the essence of that place, to think about its unique qualities but also look at it as a template for creating more livable and individualized neighborhoods. The question Neighborhood Infusions asks is tinged with irony: can you capture the essence of a place in a bottle?  The work is served off the wall by docents (rather than bartenders), who take time to interpret its implications for those interested in consuming it.

I found the City Farmer News website. It seems to be The Blog about urban farming. Those with an interest must go there. I found this new work of art there - a Fruit Park. I have been envisioning turning the many pocket parks in Philadelphia into mini fruit farms. I cheered when I saw that I am not alone in my thinking, planning, plotting ...

Grand Opening On Saturday, January 5, 2013 At Del Aire Park

Press Release
Dec 26, 2012

The trees were planted with the support of the Los Angeles County Arts Commission Civic Art Program and the guidance of Fallen Fruit, an artists’ collaborative founded by David Burns, Matias Viegener and Austin Young, whose mission is to unite communities through the creation of sustainable public art projects. Del Aire residents planted 27 fruit trees, eight grape vines, more than 60 trees were given away to neighbors. Once the trees bear fruit, all park visitors will be encouraged to pick from the new edible landscape at harvest time. Within three years, the trees are expected to be completely sustainable and drought tolerant.

The Fruit Park, which was funded through a creative use of county civic art dollars, is part of a larger plan by Chairman Ridley-Thomas to see community gardens planted in every unincorporated area in the Second District. So far, new gardens have been established in Florence-Firestone and Lennox, and locations and funding have been identified for gardens planned for Willowbrook, Athens and Baldwin Hills.

Asshats on Parade - Would you let this guy date your daughter? With Music.

Are you dateable? Take a test and find out. I failed miserably. I do not know how to shut up. Or be mysterious. And I never follow the rules. What fun is that? This guy is a "Christian motivational speaker." I kind of cringe inside when I contemplate that. 

"Richardson High Schoolers Learned Today That "Dateable Girls Know How to Shut Up"

 By Lauren Smart

Around 1 p.m. today, the hashtag #lookadouche showed up on the Twittersphere. A group of students at Richardson High School were skipping regularly scheduled math or science classes to attend an optional PTA-sponsored assembly.

The day's guest speaker was a motivational speaker who has co-authored faith-based dating books, Dateable: are you? are they? and The Dateable Rules. His name: Justin Lookadoo."

Asshats on Parade - Out of My Cold Dead Hand Edition

"And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward." - Matthew 6:5

I am at a loss for words. So I will just show you the campaign ad. Jesus please save us from your followers.

It seems South Dakota is giving Texas and Kansas a run for first place in the Craziest State in the Union Race. I do not care what this woman has to say. You wave a gun in my face and any conversation we might be having is over.

And if you think I am being unreasonable in rejecting this woman outright, I ask you: how crazy is this event below? Pretty fricking crazy. It is enough to make you want to stay home altogether.

After intimidating four women and all the restaurant patrons and employees for two hours, the gunNuts adjourned to the local Hooters. Family values anyone? What would Jesus do? 

40 Armed Gun Advocates Intimidate Mothers Against Gun Violence In A Restaurant Parking Lot ...click here for more

"Probably about 20 to 25 percent of the adult American population is so right-wing authoritarian, so scared, so self-righteous, so ill-informed, and so dogmatic that nothing you can say or do will change their minds. They would march America into a dictatorship and probably feel that things had improved as a result. … And they are so submissive to their leaders that they will believe and do virtually anything they are told. They are not going to let up and they are not going away." - Robert Altemeyer, The Authoritarians

Dirty Tricks or Treat

Self Portrait John Darkow

I follow the Cagle Post. I am a member so they send me cartoons. You can join too. My pet cartoonist there is John Darkow. He is the editorial cartoonist for the Columbia Daily Tribune. This one tickled me. See another one of his sardonic cartoons HERE:

Queer Nation Confronts Russian Business Leaders

It is a lovely thing to watch folks speak truth to power. Go Queer Nation! Thank you, Scott Wooledge, for all you do to keep us informed.

Go here for the story of the Rainbow Flag. 

Keep laughing, Russians. You are making Putin look like an ass. No matter what he does now, the world will be laughing at him. I do not think he enjoys that. Welcome to New York City.

Turkey Crack-Up

I found this in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1945 collection of essays, notebook excerpts, and letters, The Crack-Up

TURKEY REMAINS AND HOW TO INTER THEM WITH NUMEROUS SCARCE RECIPES

At this post holiday season, the refrigerators of the nation are overstuffed with large masses of turkey, the sight of which is calculated to give an adult an attack of dizziness. It seems, therefore, an appropriate time to give the owners the benefit of my experience as an old gourmet, in using this surplus material. Some of the recipes have been in my family for generations. (This usually occurs when rigor mortis sets in.) They were collected over years, from old cook books, yellowed diaries of the Pilgrim Fathers, mail order catalogues, golf-bags and trash cans. Not one but has been tried and proven — there are headstones all over America to testify to the fact.

Very well then. Here goes:

Turkey Cocktail: To one large turkey add one gallon of vermouth and a demijohn of angostura bitters. Shake.

Turkey à la Francais: Take a large ripe turkey, prepare as for basting and stuff with old watches and chains and monkey meat. Proceed as with cottage pudding.

Turkey and Water: Take one turkey and one pan of water. Heat the latter to the boiling point and then put in the refrigerator. When it has jelled, drown the turkey in it. Eat. In preparing this recipe it is best to have a few ham sandwiches around in case things go wrong.

Turkey Mongole: Take three butts of salami and a large turkey skeleton, from which the feathers and natural stuffing have been removed. Lay them out on the table and call up some Mongole in the neighborhood to tell you how to proceed from there.

Turkey Mousse: Seed a large prone turkey, being careful to remove the bones, flesh, fins, gravy, etc. Blow up with a bicycle pump. Mount in becoming style and hang in the front hall.

Stolen Turkey: Walk quickly from the market, and, if accosted, remark with a laugh that it had just flown into your arms and you hadn’t noticed it. Then drop the turkey with the white of one egg—well, anyhow, beat it.

Turkey à la Crême: Prepare the crême a day in advance. Deluge the turkey with it and cook for six days over a blast furnace. Wrap in fly paper and serve.

Turkey Hash: This is the delight of all connoisseurs of the holiday beast, but few understand how really to prepare it. Like a lobster, it must be plunged alive into boiling water, until it becomes bright red or purple or something, and then before the color fades, placed quickly in a washing machine and allowed to stew in its own gore as it is whirled around. Only then is it ready for hash. To hash, take a large sharp tool like a nail-file or, if none is handy, a bayonet will serve the purpose—and then get at it! Hash it well! Bind the remains with dental floss and serve.

Feathered Turkey: To prepare this, a turkey is necessary and a one pounder cannon to compel anyone to eat it. Broil the feathers and stuff with sage-brush, old clothes, almost anything you can dig up. Then sit down and simmer. The feathers are to be eaten like artichokes (and this is not to be confused with the old Roman custom of tickling the throat.)

Turkey à la Maryland: Take a plump turkey to a barber’s and have him shaved, or if a female bird, given a facial and a water wave. Then, before killing him, stuff with old newspapers and put him to roost. He can then be served hot or raw, usually with a thick gravy of mineral oil and rubbing alcohol. (Note: This recipe was given me by an old black mammy.)

Turkey Remnant: This is one of the most useful recipes for, though not, “chic,” it tells what to do with the turkey after the holiday, and how to extract the most value from it. Take the remnants, or, if they have been consumed, take the various plates on which the turkey or its parts have rested and stew them for two hours in milk of magnesia. Stuff with moth-balls.

Turkey with Whiskey Sauce: This recipe is for a party of four. Obtain a gallon of whiskey, and allow it to age for several hours. Then serve, allowing one quart for each guest. The next day the turkey should be added, little by little, constantly stirring and basting.

For Weddings or Funerals: Obtain a gross of small white boxes such as are used for bride’s cake. Cut the turkey into small squares, roast, stuff, kill, boil, bake and allow to skewer. Now we are ready to begin. Fill each box with a quantity of soup stock and pile in a handy place. As the liquid elapses, the prepared turkey is added until the guests arrive. The boxes delicately tied with white ribbons are then placed in the handbags of the ladies, or in the men’s side pockets.

There I guess that’s enough turkey talk. I hope I’ll never see or hear of another until—well, until next year..