Showing posts with label Asshats on Parade. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Asshats on Parade. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Hat Tip to the Great Aesop or A Fable for Our Times


A Fable for Our Times

Bigotry (subheading racism) is like owning a big dog. Let us call the dog ICK.

I have no problem with ICK as long as you keep the dog at home or on a leash. It is your ICK. Play ball with it in your yard. Feed it pepperoni in the evening. Have a beer and give the mutt a pat. Enjoy. 

If you take ICK out in public, keep ICK on a leash. If ICK bites me or a child or shits on the sidewalk, you make your ICK my  problem. And our community's problem. Nobody likes problems. Nobody. ICK bites hurt.

I am a fan of Roland Martin and Crazy Ass White People. This is my idea of a feel good story. Jesus loves everybody. No exceptions. 

Old ladies can be rabble rousing white trash. I have been known to rouse a rabble from time to time. Tell me why you rouse a rabble and I will tell you who you are. Or Roland Martin will. You go, Roland.

Kudos to this Restaurant Manager. He is an educated man who speaks two languages. He protects his business from rabble rousing trash (ugh!) in a calm effective way. He protects the peace of his patrons. 



Saturday, October 2, 2021

Big Whoop-de-Shit - Asshats on Parade - UPDATE

Some adventurous Reader read this, so I decided to go back and see who I called an Asshat. I wrote this in 2014. Can you tell how much Republicans still respect and protect Texas Women? Purity culture kills Women and Children. Texas has a higher maternal mortality rate than some countries. Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose.  

You can put lipstick and earrings on a hog and call it Monique, but it's still a pig. - Anne Richards, Governor of Texas
According to WHO, unsafe abortion is one of the three leading causes of maternal mortality, along with hemorrhage and sepsis from childbirth.1

The men of the Republican party believe that women and women alone are to be held responsible for the fact that humans have sex.



This ultrasound wand -----> is what the State of Texas and Dan Patrick decided must be shoved up my Bird in order for me to have a safe and legal medical abortion. Dan Patrick is working to stop early medication abortions too.
 

Meanwhile, in the real world, a 13 year old just self-aborted with a pencil in Pennsylvania. The child has been sexually assaulted by a 30 year old SexPig. Is the State going to shove one of these -----> up the vagina of a child like her? How Christian is that? Precisely what did Jesus Christ say that requires this treatment of women?

I wonder how many social workers and child advocates it is going to take to deal with issues like this? Or are young women just going to be forced to birth babies because we cannot make exceptions in time or by law? In Africa, childbirth is the leading cause of death of young women 15-19. Is America going to go there "because Jesus?" And how are we going to pay to enforce all these laws? Bond issues? New taxes?

Mandatory ultrasound is The Law in my State as well. Thanks to Governor Corbett. One and done. Legislatures must not practice medicine. Remember the words of the illustrious and reknowned Drive-By who said "Those who vote Republican will have Republican done unto them."

Rapists, who cannot get their genitals to cooperate enough to rape you, use objects instead: sticks, broken bottles, ultrasound wands and laws. That ultrasound wand is bigger than my second husband's johnson. I am going to throw a party when these guys lose. I got a new slogan: Butt core Corbutt! Yes, I went there. I am so going to Hell.

Monday, March 15, 2021

Pssst. Fools tread where Angels fear to go. I am a Fool.

I read this bitty essay by Jonathan Capehart. I am verklempt. 

“Woke supremacy” ranks up there with that tired crutch of the right known as “cancel culture.” The purpose of both phrases is to shield folks from criticism when they are called out for their actions or their deeply ignorant musings that peddle in racism, xenophobia or misogyny. It is also used to deny dignity to those of us who rise up and demand it in defiance of a dominant culture that depends on our silence. Or, in the case of Scott, complicity in maintaining that silence.
So let us now pile on and stomp Tim Scott because he is bad bad bad. Proof? We doan need no steenking proof. 

Joy and Jon point out that Tim is Black. Tim points out that Joy and Jon are Black. Okay. So far so good. What about this petty family political dispute makes its occurrence significant enough for an essay in WaPo? If we all going to wallow in insult, I think I will join in. The work by Master Ernie Kovacs is the most perfect criticism I can provide.


Who was civil or even politic in the Joy, Jon and Tim ménage a trois? Nobody. Which of the Three has been 'silenced.' LOL. Bitchy bitchy bitchy. Is this really the impression you are trying to create?

The Evil do evil. Jonathan and Joy, you are asking me to make individual specific Republicans totally responsible for all Republican evil thuggery. It is a stupid position. You be stupid. I will save France. Politics done as team sport is NOT good citizenship.


Evidently none of these upper class darlings have met some of The Woke that I have met. Nobody ever tells the truth to the 'rich and famous.' So they have no idea what is going on. And now we have been provided by Jon and Joy some new folks to OTHER - the Woke and the Unwoke. The Woke and The UnDead? The Sleepy and the SleepLess. I will stop now.

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Josh Hawley and Friends - OMG GOP WTF?

"If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by people who move their lips when they're reading to themselves." – Don Marquis

White Power Salute at the Capitol

I am political. Josh Hawley is trashing MY STATE and he does not live here. He participated in an insurrection in order to install an unelected and totally rejected Donald Trump. Evidence above. Josh Hawley is an over educated underspanked elite douchebag.  

He has friends among the Conservative. Mike Lee is a social climbing oleaginous schmuck. He is one of those not conservative at all Conservatives. With a bad haircut. Skeeves me. Even he was intelligent enough to avoid the fray. Too bad because he is one of the worst of the 'conservative' gang. The stupid Kochs are going 'Gee golly willikers, maybe we made a mistake.' Makes me want to stab people. I apologize to my Lady Shrink for this post. But I digress. 

I vote at a Black VFW club. Or I did before the pandemic made social distancing necessary. Two voting machines in the back of an old Victorian bar. In 2016, I wrote in Elizabeth Warren. I just walk around the block. Poll workers are my neighbors and friends. All elderly and middle aged Black Veterans. They close the bar during voting. Hawley is trashing my friends and our State system.

Hawley is the kind of authoritarian psychopath that invaded the Capitol. I want to rip his tits off. I need the PERP WALK. So Bubba, Tyrone, Hector and Hamza can rip his tits off. I am old or I would do it myself. Fuck you FBI. I knew the Magat Insurrection was going to happen. What is your problem? 

Hawley is the smart Trump. The anti Christ for real. And there is at least one more of him being recruited. This other NEWtrump competition is blonde and devastatingly handsome but not as smart as Hawley. Cannot remember his name, but I got his and his backer's game. Might be time to resurrect this Play. Frank Zappa grokked in fullness. See Music below:




Wednesday, August 19, 2020

I looked up PERVERSE.


I can be deliberately perverse. I am contrary, difficult, unreasonable, uncooperative, unhelpful, obstructive, disobliging, recalcitrant, stubborn, obstinate, obdurate, mulish, pigheaded, bullheaded and refractory like any other human being. I do not play well with others.

I prefer being cheerful and cooperative. I like the way it feels. And like all human beings, I can choose to be the Devil or the Angel me.

I think it is hysterical that the Trump administration DOJ has taken the position in Ohio that not voting regularly is going to void one's voter registration. Trump is obsessed with losing the popular vote. How so? Trump is doing his best to rig the election while complaining about the election being rigged since 2017 at least.
The Trump administration redoubled its support on Monday for efforts to remove people from voter registration rolls, siding with the state of Ohio in a case that could allow states to cancel registrations for voters who fail to cast a ballot over the course of several elections. Read more...
Folks are perverse. Many people who never voted before or voted sporadically will now VOTE with all their might just to fuck the Trump administration. When folks vote in greater numbers, Democrats win. This Trump action is the same as loading up the old Glock and shooting yourself in the foot. Donald J Trump - deal maker extraordinaire.

And the Russians are reading me again. How odd. Leola B. Wilson and Coot Grant: Vocals.


Sunday, September 29, 2019

Smutty Smut - Asshats on Parade

Utah is the state that consumes the most pornography.

This post has musical accompaniment below.
The sponsor of a recently passed Utah resolution declaring that “pornography is creating a public health crisis” appeared on the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” program yesterday to defend the measure, which the governor signed on Tuesday, and allege that the availability of pornography is violating his “First Amendment right to not view it.” - See more...
Dude, stay away from the computer. Or put out your eyes. Problem solved. 
And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. Matthew 18:9


Friday, September 27, 2019

The President is Very Angry.

I hear that the President is very angry, or, let me be precise: I hear that he is truly bouncing off the walls. - Michael Wolff
Donald Trump has unleashed a stream of furious outbursts over the whistbleblower revelations, just days after House speaker Nancy Pelosi announced an official impeachment inquiry that some believe could yield results as soon as October.
Okay. I have a bit of doggerel for every occasion. I only have one verse. I need more. I will try to add more as the day progresses. But this is a good start. Y'all can help in the comments if you care to do so.

Some hours later...

To the rhythm of This Land Is Your Land.

Bouncing Cheeto
Is having a shit fit.
Get Melania
To give him some tit tit.

I am feeling desperate
Cuz DC is a cesspit.
And Donald Trump
Is such a lackwit.

We can leave town
While he has his ho' down.
Let's use the Prius
So they will not see us.

We need to dump Trump
The swollen fecal lump.
Then we will be free.
Enjoy sweet liberty.

Refrain: Freedom is good for you and me.

Hat tip to Dan Grevy for the desperate rhyme and Claude Jacques Bonhomme for the cesspit rhyme respectively.



.

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Kim Davis Moans and Pules. I Enjoy Her Tears.

I am republishing this rant due to recent developments in the case:
A federal appeals court ruled on Friday that the Kentucky county clerk who gained notoriety for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples in 2015 can be sued, Reuters reported.

The 3-0 decision by the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Cincinnati upheld a previous ruling by U.S. District Judge David Bunning in Kentucky that Kim Davis can be sued in her individual capacity for the denial of licenses to same-sex couples after the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in 2015. The decision will toss the lawsuits from two couples pursuing a lawsuit against Davis back into his court.
The Bible and Jesus tell Christians to obey the civil law. Kim Davis is an Epic Fail as a Christian, if being a Christian means doing what Jesus told you to do. Further, Jesus told us not to afflict people with the 'letter of the law.' I read the Bible.

Kim Davis is also an insult to the concept of nonviolent (religious) civil disobedience; this concept many people were jailed, maimed or incarcerated for honoring and employing. Nonviolent conscientious religious civil disobedience takes courage to employ. Gandhi tells us what nonviolent religious civil disobedience is:
"I have also called it love-force or soul-force. . . I discovered in the earliest stages that pursuit of truth did not admit of violence being inflicted on one’s opponent but that he must be weaned from error by patience and compassion. For what appears to be truth to the one may appear to be error to the other. And patience means self-suffering. So the doctrine came to mean vindication of truth, not by infliction of suffering on the opponent, but on oneself." - Mohandas Gandhi.
What Kim Davis practices is not nonviolent civil disobedience. It is assault and humiliation under color of law. As she sowed, so she now reaps. It is biblical.  Cry me a river. Cake Patrol Christianity is stupid and rude.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

The American Press Are No @#$%^&* Good

Watch Pete Hoekstra, Trump's ambassador to the Netherlands, get poleaxed by Dutch reporters. How did they get him?. They insisted he actually answer a question and answer truthfully. I almost feel sorry for him.

This example makes our media monsters look like incompetent idiots. We are 48th in freedom of the press worldwide . So much winning. Our reporters back off when they do not get an answer, or get a lie for an answer, because they might 'lose access.' I am looking at you Chuck Todd.





Wednesday, May 22, 2019

SALMAGUNDI - May 22, 2019


salmagundi noun
sal·​ma·​gun·​di | \ ËŒsal-mÉ™-ˈgÉ™n-dÄ“ \

1: a salad plate of chopped meats, anchovies, eggs, and vegetables arranged in rows for contrast and dressed with a salad dressing

2: a heterogeneous mixture : POTPOURRI


Ben Carson is daily so high he is looking down on the eagles. Congress must be randomly and regularly drug tested. What is sauce for the working man must be sauce for Congress. We need to start with Ben Carson, Steve King, and Kyrsten Sinema.


Tom Cotton is showing us his ass again. Cotton has said he can be opposed to abortion because we live in a democracy.

My dupa is not a democracy. No thank you. I will have lots of hot sex. I will use birth control. If I become pregnant, I will gestate or abort as I see fit. Not as Tom Cotton sees fit.

Anthropologically speaking, Humankind has three strategies  for dealing with unwanted reproduction (births): contraception, abortion and infanticide. All three are practiced in every culture worldwide historically and currently.

Those who restrict contraception and abortion make infanticide, child and maternal mortality inevitable. We have many in vitro examples of this but the one that troubles me the most at the moment is this example http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new...

There is nothing moral about controlling women's reproductive choices by law or by shaming. Illegal abortion and sepsis/hemorrhage in childbirth are the three leading causes of maternal death worldwide. The USA has the highest maternal mortality rate of the developed countries. Women have blood in the fertility game. Abortion and contraception are human rights. Cotton does not occupy the moral high ground.

Sunday, March 31, 2019

SALMAGUNDI

Rodriguez 
Graphics are from Favianna Rodriguez and Buddy McCue in that order.

RANT:

PutinPoot has troops in South America. Trump intends to stop aid to 3 South American countries to assist him. And nobody is talking about it. I am going to say it again. There are Russian troops in South America. Some of us too busy hating on Sarah Slanders. Counterproductive to do that bigtime. 

Roman Catholic priests are burning Harry Potter books. Tit for tat I say. Harry Potter fans get to burn pedophile priests and those who covered for them. One flaming priest for 10 books. I think that is reasonable.
.
Kings and Barons are back in style. You know - feudal system. A Corporation is now a legal person with religion and freedom of speech. Only difference between a human person and a corporation? A Corpo never dies. A Monarchy never dies. Takes messy revolutions to move such cultural institutions. 

Men: do not touch women without asking if it is OK. Especially do not give women a little pat on the shoulder in a formal setting like government, medicine etc. That is how women's careers are halted. Gives rise to 'she slept her way up' for example.

The Old Men who are in power are moldy old men. Hat tip to Moms Mably. They lived their lives and formed their young selves when women were significantly enchained. So they treat women with a combination of 'isn't she adorable' and 'get that cunt cuz she persisted...bitch' in a situation of political or economic combat. It is what they know. Habit. 

I advise women: get a small Italian stiletto, offer to kiss their Uncle cheeks, and shove it into a buttock. "Sting like a bee." Practice at home on an orange. It will be 7-10 minutes before they even know they are bleeding.

I have reached peak bipolar rage obviously. These whackadoos are putting children in cages. I cannot take it any more. That fact has taken me so low it is making me sick in body and mind. I have to avoid going to places or the News because no one can grieve all the time. Not without breaking.
A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more (Jeremiah 31:15 NIV).
No Biden. I remember Hill/Thomas hearing. I want Warren and/or Abrams. It is going to take charisma and intelligence to beat the traitors in our midst and the corpos. Both have it. The rest of the field is not one bit possible.

Pompeo is a pompous, obese, weak and sweaty guy trying hard to convince us he is a warrior. Epic fail.

It is bad. We are all at the mercy of rich people. We have to stop this now. 

I say we all march on DC and surround the White House, sing kumbaya songs, and refuse to leave until Trumpus leaves. Nothing in and nothing out until he leaves. Let us see if our government will fire on us. We call it the NOTHING IN AND NOTHING OUT MARCH. I am serious as a heart attack.

McCue

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Schultz for POTUS?

“never trust anyone
who says
they do not see color.
this means
to them,
you are invisible.”
― Nayyirah Waheed

I trust my gut. I cannot vote for Schultz. If I gaze at him in action too long, I want to shove my foot, in my work boot with cleats, right up his nancy ass.

I try to avoid men that arouse that sentiment in me. Not because I am particularly peaceful. Oh no, because I might do it on a good day and so far I have managed to avoid jail or the nuthouse.


Friday, September 28, 2018

Get your Hot Dog at Alzheimer's on the Potomac

The below graphic was a meme on Twitter. It implores us to contact these Senators. Do Democrats try for dumb? Waste of my time to contact these Hot Dogs. There is no evidence they can hear or think. Watch them sometime.


Convince me Chuck Grassley is not one of the two Senators taking Alzheimers Meds filled at Congressional Pharmacy. I been watching and Grassley been weirding wiggling waffling wandering all over the place. And I think there may be some outright falsehoods. I think it is hard not to see the dysfunction. I watched Grassley Town Halls. No wonder some folks do not want to do them. Town Halls are quite an education.

I am further saying Grassley rubber stamps anything his chief of staff puts in front of him cuz he just zombie into the gentleman's club.

Orrin Hatch is second of the Alzheimers Zombie Twins. I got 100 bucks says it is so. And I am financially challenged and I do not gamble. Hatch the Undead Corpse. I say doG??? Please have mercy on a weary people. doG say BE CALM. Breathe. Free will.

Hatch and his invisible glasses.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Note to Ben and Candy Carson

"A word to the wise is enough, and many words won't fill a bushel." Benjamin Franklin
Congress and the Executive Branch must be randomly and regularly drug tested. Sauce for the Workingman must be sauce for the Suits. As Wifty Ben's employer, we have a right and duty to insist on sobriety as a job requirement.

BEN: You high Dude. You high as fuck. Dude, you so fucking high I doubt you can fuck. So high you cannot keep your eyes open. High dee high de Ho.

CANDY: How can you allow your husband to go on TV high as a kite? We see him. He is so high he can hardly function. For God's sake and his GO TO AL ANON. Do you care for him or respect him at all? I think not. Takes dedicated drug use to get so sick. Ben has deteriorated. Begun to slur his words. BTDT. Got the Tshirt and wore it out.



Monday, January 22, 2018

Vietnam Vet Gives Romney and the Rest of Us a Lesson in Civility and Reality

Mitt Romney is running for office again. This time running for Senator for Utah. 

What is there to say? Rmoney is an Asshat. Man is so damn awkward he makes me itch when I see him. Do you think Rmoney gets a facial every day? I would love to know who does his hair. 




Friday, January 19, 2018

Message to Advertisers and Websites. Up Your Giggy.

Here is the deal.

I never used an ad blocker until ads got so intrusive that it actually made me mad. Video ads that start at a loud volume automatically the moment you enter a website? Ads that pop up and obscure what you are trying to read?

If you are poor, you cannot read an article from New York Times. You go to NYT responding to a link from one of their authors and BANG you get a bill. I do not read the NYT. They are politically in the bag for the 1%.

I read the Guardian which asks politely to send a contribution. I contributed a small amount of my choosing.

Now sites (like Mother Jones and Weather Channel etc.) beg you to turn off your ad blocker. No way. Eat Shit and Die. As publications and marketers have sown, so they now reap.

My that rant felt good.


Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Purity Purges. Relax. It is James O'Keefe.

Beware the Twitter. They watching you do It. Maybe we can charge them for the jollies? 

See the video below to learn all about James OKeefe's new project. 

Some folks were running a Craig's List style prostitution racket on Twitter. Twitter was oblivious and ragging on me for saying FUCK whenever some revenge seeking nerd reported me. I troll the Internet. 

I got timed out for calling Louise Mensch 'Dirty Louise.' Meanwhile, folks were posting those short fuckfilms porno sites are known for. And Dirty Louise got proven a con.

What is this? Twitter abuse because they allowed and still allow many Russian/Reputin disINFObot trolls free rein and are being called on it by FEDGOV and others. 

The beatings will continue until morality improves. Or until the American public learns how to tell a con when they see one. This will be as successful as the last purity purge calling for 'internet civility.' Meanwhile, rightwing authoritarians heads are exploding all over the online universe. 





Thursday, August 10, 2017

God Told Me to Murder People


Matthew 15:18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.
Robert Jeffress argument for incinerating thousands of people is 'God told us would be kool.'


That is the same argument the mentally ill use to justify actions like stabbing six people and murdering a fifteen year old girl.


“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”
Charles Bukowski

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Bye bye, Morans. Don't let the door . . . well you know.

UPDATE:

Texas Republicans barely avoided having to vote on whether Texas should secede from the United States on Friday. So I dragged out this old chestnut. TEXIT y'all! Founder lives in Russia.



November 13, 2012

Some folks want to secede "peacefully" from the Union and they have petitions at whitehouse.gov.

Some Authoritarian types petitioned in return that the Secessionists should be deported. My Grands emigrated here from Italy and Poland. My question to the Deporters is this: To which Country would someone like me be deported? Do I get to choose? Most everybody here in America is an immigrant or a child of immigrants.

The second Authoritarian response I saw was "Bring it on." Those who do not remember the Civil War may be doomed to repeat it. Do you want your backyard looking like this again? "Bring it on," my Ass.



And the Authoritarians wonder why they lost the election? Shaking my damn head. You just cannot make this stuff up

I confess I signed the petition to deport the Secessionists even though I know it is bullshit. Sometimes Poo must be flung, know what I mean? Better Poo than Bullets. Or rocks.

Then somebody had a better idea. It was suggested in a petition that we give the poor forlorn Secessionists a nice warm cup of soup. I agree with the Soupers. This election has been exhausting. We are all a bit peckish.

Who knew the White House petition site was going to be so fun?