Losing my Mind on Tuesday Afternoon

Very often the comments on my little essays are better than my remarks. A fine intelligent creative set of folks bless me with their company.

PhoebeQueen said something in the comments recently that spoke to my condition.

I understand people are testy. I can see it all around me. People have lost their fucking minds.

I saw my handsome Black neighbor waiting on the EL by chance. So we chatting. He looks me dead in the eyes and tells me he is voting for Trump. And grins.

Man is about 55 and he must work in some serious sort of job. Always spotless white shirt. Black suit. Never jeans. If he wears jeans on Saturday they are pressed.

I try to find out why. For him, like a lot of Trump's supporters, this is a big fuck you to Republicans and Congress. Race has nothing to do with it. Or party really. Democrats included. Bi partisan FUCK YOU.

I am giving him the whole whitebread civil rights argument and he is steady nodding. I asked him straight out "I can tell by your grin you are going to vote for the monster." His grin got bigger.

 "What have you got to lose?" asks Trump. And that is a good question.

Somebody tell this Hippy that my Neighbor is not correct. Tell me that the intelligent vote right now is not a big FUCK YOU in one form or another. Talk me down. I have lost my mind.

I get it. What is there to respect? Right now there is a Governor who is a proven poisoner of children and others. Public tax money is paying for his defense. He is wealthy; he will never see one day in prison. Nobody is fixing the poison pipes. We are paying, you and me, to save the Poisoner rather than stop the poisoning. I so get it. My Neighbor is correct. There needs to be a big FUCK YOU.

The Black Man who made this video knows where he stands and who he is. I am just a flaming ball of rage and sadness. Lady Shrink told me today that many folks are experiencing fear, sadness and rage during this endless disgusting campaign.

Fear and sadness and rage are contagious. Especially for those of us who are second generation Americans with Grandparents who immigrated here fleeing grinding poverty and/or war and Fascism. Lady Shrink says Do not Look. Disengage. But it is like a car wreck on the interstate. You cannot look away. I get it that the Black Men's forebears have been here, speaking English, longer than mine.

I learned a new phrase. Stochastic terrorism is the use of mass communications to incite random actors to carry out violent or terrorist acts that are statistically predictable but individually unpredictable. In short, remote-control murder by lone wolf. This is a disgusting election. It has to be over soon.

Comment from my Millennial Daughter:

The problem is for a long time politicians. especially GOPers, no matter how much they "want" to lower taxes, use taxpayers as one big endless slush fund. I think they act this way because taxes are taken out automatically. No citizen is trusted to pay them ourselves like we do gas and electric bills.

To be fair I like paying taxes for things like schools, roads, social programs whether I benefit from these things or not, and I appreciate not having to remember to pay them but I am incensed by the sheer piglike attitude of some state, local and sometimes federal politicians and their assumption that I am a cash bearing tree, ever fruitful and never in need of gardening care.

Do I want to fund a big war machine? No. Do I want to keep sending military aid to countries with so so human rights. No. If you "love America" then start speaking up about what taxes you don't like while shutting up and paying up. Don't just shout no more taxes.

Where do you live that money is not needed to keep the ball rolling? I don't want to hear some old man with no kids tell me he doesn't want his taxes to pay for public schools. Do you want to live in a nation full of idiots incapable of creating, thinking, or even defending our country. This isn't about "issues" its about common sense use of public money.