Asshats on Parade - Would you let this guy date your daughter? With Music.

Are you dateable? Take a test and find out. I failed miserably. I do not know how to shut up. Or be mysterious. And I never follow the rules. What fun is that? This guy is a "Christian motivational speaker." I kind of cringe inside when I contemplate that. 

"Richardson High Schoolers Learned Today That "Dateable Girls Know How to Shut Up"

 By Lauren Smart

Around 1 p.m. today, the hashtag #lookadouche showed up on the Twittersphere. A group of students at Richardson High School were skipping regularly scheduled math or science classes to attend an optional PTA-sponsored assembly.

The day's guest speaker was a motivational speaker who has co-authored faith-based dating books, Dateable: are you? are they? and The Dateable Rules. His name: Justin Lookadoo."

Asshats on Parade - Out of My Cold Dead Hand Edition

"And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward." - Matthew 6:5

I am at a loss for words. So I will just show you the campaign ad. Jesus please save us from your followers.

It seems South Dakota is giving Texas and Kansas a run for first place in the Craziest State in the Union Race. I do not care what this woman has to say. You wave a gun in my face and any conversation we might be having is over.

And if you think I am being unreasonable in rejecting this woman outright, I ask you: how crazy is this event below? Pretty fricking crazy. It is enough to make you want to stay home altogether.

After intimidating four women and all the restaurant patrons and employees for two hours, the gunNuts adjourned to the local Hooters. Family values anyone? What would Jesus do? 

40 Armed Gun Advocates Intimidate Mothers Against Gun Violence In A Restaurant Parking Lot ...click here for more

"Probably about 20 to 25 percent of the adult American population is so right-wing authoritarian, so scared, so self-righteous, so ill-informed, and so dogmatic that nothing you can say or do will change their minds. They would march America into a dictatorship and probably feel that things had improved as a result. … And they are so submissive to their leaders that they will believe and do virtually anything they are told. They are not going to let up and they are not going away." - Robert Altemeyer, The Authoritarians

Eric Cantor Mon Amour - Debt Ceiling Edition

Reuters Photo

Eric Cantor is in the news again announcing things. I must confess. I have fantasies about Eric Cantor. Some might call it lust. Eric gives me Fever. The nature of my fantasies is so disturbing that I give thanks I am sober. And occasionally medicated. Am I the only one?

I do not know what it is about Eric that gets me so crazy. He lies and lies with a cheerful smile on his face, it is true. Misrepresentation not-quite-illegal is the method du jour of the Effete Elite. An unctuous smile is not a new experience. Maybe it is his voice. Or his hair and his ducky walk. 

I want to push his face into the sand box and grind. I want to pinch his cheeks until he hollers. I want to tear his titties off. With my teeth. I am so going to Hell.

Call me crazy? You would be right. Diagnosed.Would I do this? Only in my dreams. I am no slimy terrorist. I do have a rich full fantasy life. Oh Eric. "Come onna my house my house a come on; Ima gonna give you candy."

Asshats on Parade - Evil Women Edition - Charles Van Zant, Grand Marshal

Women Legislators walked out of a debate on a new anti abortion bill in Florida.

"A debate in Florida's House of Representatives over a Republican-sponsored ban on race- and sex-selective abortions became extremely heated Thursday, causing several black women lawmakers to walk out in protest. 

House Bill 845, sponsored by Rep. Charles Van Zant (R-Keystone Heights), would make it a third-degree felony in Florida to perform an abortion based on the race or gender of the fetus. Van Zant accused Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers of intentionally targeting black people. "The fact is, 80 percent of abortion clinics nationwide are located in minority neighborhoods where 43 percent of all black babies are aborted," Van Zant said, according to the Tampa Bay Times." - Laura Bassett, Huffpo

Van Zant

I gave Van Zant the AssHat Award for this sentence alone. Van Zant stated "In America alone, without the Naxi holocaust, without the Ku Klux Klan, Planned Parenthood and other abortionists have reduced our black population by more than 25 percent since 1973. This is called discriminatory targeting."

The premises Van Zant is arguing here are:

Evil women have abortions for evil reasons at the request of evil organizations. Everybody knows that. A black woman is a potential Shoah just standing there in her shoes and must be specially provided for by House Bill 845.

One citizen of Dumbfuckistan cannot imagine why the 
Black women Legislators walked out and chimed in "How is it racism if they don't want black babies to be singled out for abortions?"

I got questions for the DumbFuck and AssHat Van Zant.

Is all this sheet* going to come down on black women who abort black babies only? What if a black woman is having a white baby? Does she get to have her abortion then? And what if a white woman is having a black baby? Or a red or yellow baby? Womb as Color TV. You got special probes for that? 

How will this law be enforced? What are you willing to do to women, Van Zant, to enforce this law? I sent this to Van Zant. Think I will get an answer? AssHat. 

* Yes, this is a pun and I intentionally committed it. 

Up Your Giggy, George W. Bush, Sideways

Wish George W. Bush a Happy Iraq War Day: Here is His Private Email Address - from Gawker

As we mentioned earlier, a hacker calling himself (or herself) Guccifer has penetrated the electronic worlds of George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, and a number of other political figures. Screengrabs of various email conversations that Bush, Clinton, and others have participated in have been floating around the internet. And it has come to our attention on this, the day of the 10th anniversary of the invasion of Iraq on the orders of George W. Bush, that one of those screengrabs credibly displays Bush's private email address. 

It is: gwb@ogwb.org. Please let him know that you're thinking of him today.

http://gawker.com/5991411/wish-george-w-bush-a-happy-iraq-war-day-here-is-his-private-email-address?post=58405543

Asshats on Parade - Humiliation Version or Beat Me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar

Narcissus by Caravaggio

Narcissus was the beautiful youth in Greek myth doomed to gaze enraptured at his own reflection forever.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.

This, from his blog, is the Testimony of Cardinal Mahoney regarding his sin and crime of aiding and abetting the secret rape of hundreds of children in his diocese.

"Given all of the storms that have surrounded me and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles recently, God's grace finally helped me to understand:  I am not being called to serve Jesus in humility.  Rather, I am being called to something deeper--to be humiliated, disgraced, and rebuffed by many.

I was not ready for this challenge.  Ash Wednesday changed all of that, and I see Lent 2013 as a special time to reflect deeply upon this special call by Jesus.

To be honest with you, I have not reached the point where I can actually pray for more humiliation.  I'm only at the stage of asking for the grace to endure the level of humiliation at the moment.

In the past several days, I have experienced many examples of being humiliated.  In recent days, I have been confronted in various places by very unhappy people.  I could understand the depth of their anger and outrage--at me, at the Church, about injustices that swirl around us.

Thanks to God's special grace, I simply stood there, asking God to bless and forgive them."  

The rape of children in Mahoney's diocese is all about his suffering. The anger of their parents is Mahoney's apotheosis, a special sign from Jesus. 

Mahoney is the victim. But, like Christ, he will forgive us. I do not know whether to laugh, cry or vomit. God save us from the mad priest. 

Asshats on Parade - Rape Edition - Cathrynn N. Brown

Several political professionals are trying to teach Republicans how and how-not to talk about Rape according to Media-ite:

“This is actually pretty simple,” said Republican strategist Kevin Madden. “If you’re about to talk about rape as anything other than a brutal and horrible crime, stop.”

 Marina Ein, a crisis communications specialist, said Republicans need “sensitivity training” to succeed in the next elections. "It all boils down to whether or not the Republican Party thinks this is a problem,” she said. “If they want to make inroads with women, then they need to subject every one of their candidates to sensitivity training — not to mention reality training.”

Cathrynn N. Brown

I submit House Bill 206 as an example of how intelligently and seriously Republicans have taken excellent and expensive advice. Yes, it is a real bill. Read it and laugh. Or weep. 

That old Republican magic = Poof! You are now an evidence locker. Hard to believe that a lady this cute could be so pea picking corn snorting dumb and inhumane is it not? And Ms. Brown is an attorney. Let that sink in for awhile. 

HOUSE BILL 206

51ST LEGISLATURE - STATE OF NEW MEXICO - FIRST SESSION, 2013

INTRODUCED BY

Cathrynn N. Brown

AN ACT

RELATING TO CRIMINAL LAW; SPECIFYING PROCURING OF AN ABORTION

AS TAMPERING WITH EVIDENCE IN CASES OF CRIMINAL SEXUAL

PENETRATION OR INCEST.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO:

SECTION 1.  Section 30-22-5 NMSA 1978 (being Laws 1963,

Chapter 303, Section 22-5, as amended) is amended to read:

"30-22-5.  TAMPERING WITH EVIDENCE.--

A.  Tampering with evidence consists of destroying,

changing, hiding, placing or fabricating any physical evidence

with intent to prevent the apprehension, prosecution or

conviction of any person or to throw suspicion of the

commission of a crime upon another.

B.  Tampering with evidence shall include procuring

or facilitating an abortion, or compelling or coercing another

to obtain an abortion, of a fetus that is the result of

criminal sexual penetration or incest with the intent to

destroy evidence of the crime.  

C.  Whoever commits tampering with evidence

shall be punished as follows:

(1)  if the highest crime for which tampering

with evidence is committed is a capital or first degree felony 

or a second degree felony, the person committing tampering with

evidence is guilty of a third degree felony;

(2)  if the highest crime for which tampering

with evidence is committed is a third degree felony or a fourth

degree felony, the person committing tampering with evidence is

guilty of a fourth degree felony;

(3)  if the highest crime for which tampering

with evidence is committed is a misdemeanor or a petty

misdemeanor, the person committing tampering with evidence is

guilty of a petty misdemeanor; and

(4)  if the highest crime for which tampering

with evidence is committed is indeterminate, the person

committing tampering with evidence is guilty of a fourth degree

felony."

SECTION 2.  EFFECTIVE DATE.--The effective date of the

provisions of this act is July 1, 2013.

- 2 -

.190749.3

Asshats on Parade - Equal Opportunity

I used to be a Knicks fan long ago.  Earl the Pearl was my main man. I warned you I was old. I find politics more exciting than sports now.  And much more important in the grand scheme of things. And a whole lot more bloody.


I assume a certain level of political sophistication in my Readers. Particularly on the issues I write serious stuff about like child abuse and women's civil rights. I provide links to past history associated with today's Asshat Award to help out anyone not obsessively keeping score like me.

Today's Asshat Award is shared equally by an organization (CIA) and the first woman recipient (Karen Handel).

Karen Handel is an obsessed fruitbat. The expression of her obsession destroyed Susan G. Komen for the Cure. 

Ms Handel is now running for the Senate. And the Repubs are going to fund her to the max. Why? She carried water bigtime for their Religious Authoritarian Base and will continue to do so if elected. Have you read the Republican Party platform? Opinion at the first link and the entire platform here at this link.

This must be the Republican method of rebranding and restructuring their message. "Conservatism" will sell. It will. Sure it will.

"Rape is just another form of conception" will sound so dulcet and caring coming from the Lips of Handel instead of the Lips of Mourdock or the Lips of Ryan.

If Handel is preaching in ringing tones . . .

 "And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.” - Richard Mourdock

. . . all will be right in this 12 year old girl's world somehow.

And now for the CIA and the Military. I nominated these organizations for the Asshole Award because the Spooks and the Military get too much of our fricking money for the poor quality of the job they have been doing. Don't these people have anything to do besides lying and fucking and then lying about the fucking and fucking up the lying.

Cheyney was not afraid to take down a whole CIA network. We are still hearing about Petraeus and his ride. I could care less about the sex. Petraeus let a person not in his security grade get access to his computer shit. It is like Get Smart. Only without the smart. Asshats.

Mitt Romney Advertises on My Blog with Update

I give space to Adsense for Content which makes me a few bucks. Adsense has blog crawlers (creepy ain't it?) that relate ads to the content of your pages. That is why you will see Meet Latina Women! ads on here occasionally when I talk about SEX. I hate them goddamn dating ads.

I despise Mitt Romney the Lying Liar with a purple passion. His campaign advertises here anyway. Why, I ask myself? Because I talk politics? Rmoney has money to burn? Because his campaign staff is stupid? Because Rmoney has so much contempt for me that he would casually lie to me and on the pages of my cherished Blog? Who knows? Who cares? Paybacks are a bitch. 

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/10/09/1141981/-Hey-Mitt-Here-s-A-Dose-Of-Truth-Can-You-Handle-It

Update: I tweeted this blog entry at Mittens. 

Shhhh, do not make a sound. I think he is gone now. 

Scrofulous Donkey Dick with Music

Dork. 

I got mad at Governor Sam Brownback. I cannot believe what I twatted to him on Twitter. I am so going to Hell.

One day, young Miss Emma Sullivan tweeted a nasty tweet to Governor Sam Brownback. Con brio.

Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot

Somebody from the Governor's office called her school and reported her. How high school is that? It was so corn snorting pea picking stupid that news of the event went viral. The British press even got hold of it.

Brownback ended up apologizing to Emma Sullivan. I like to think I had a small hand in that. Some snarky blogger suggested we bombard Brownback's office with nasty tweets in a show of support for Ms. Emma. Seemed appropriate to me. Some people don't know what Peace is unless they have experienced Fuss.

I tweeted (twatted?) nasty tweets to Governor Sam Brownback in the service of Justice and the American Way. Old Women can say any goddamn thing we want to say.  It is one of the perquisites of being older than dirt.

I have to confess (brag about?) how mean to Sam Brownback I have been. I need absolution, Cher Reader. You know what the worst part is? It was fun being a Filthy Tweeter. I discovered I am not half bad at it. It is like putting a message in a bottle and tossing it in the sea. One hopes for a response.

I twatted, among other things:

Yo Sam, stop sucking off prostitutes in the capitol rest room. You embarrassing the junkies.

@govsambrownback sucks scrofulous donkey dick.

I now have 20 new Twitter Followers. Filthy Tweeters of America Unite! You have nothing to lose but Sam Brownback. Phooey.